Paul R. Lloyd

Friday, December 22, 2017

A Christmas Carol For America Stave 3

STAVE 3: THE SECOND OF THE THREE SPIRITS

“You have never seen the like of me before!” exclaimed the Spirit of Christmas Present who resembled the very image of Jimmy Carter.

“Never,” Trump made answer to it. “Yet you somehow appear familiar to me, Spirit.”

“Touch my robe!”

There emerged from scores of bye-streets, lanes, and nameless turnings, innumerable people, suffering from injuries and diseases.

“Spirit,” said Trump, after a moment’s thought, “I wonder you, of all the beings in the many worlds about us, should desire to cramp these people’s opportunities of innocent health care.”

“I!” cried the Spirit.

“You would deprive them of their need for physicians and medicines, often the only way on which they can be said to heal at all,” said Trump. “Wouldn’t you?”

“I!” cried the Spirit.

“You seek to close off these persons from health care providers solely because they cannot afford health insurance,” said Trump. “And it comes to the same thing.”

“I seek!” exclaimed the Spirit.

“It has been done in your name, or at least in that of Christian charity,” said Trump.

“There are some upon this earth of yours,” returned the Spirit, “who lay claim to know the Spirit of Christmas, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in Christ’s name, who are as strange to the true spirit of Christmas, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not Jesus.”

“Forgive me if I am not justified in what I ask,” said Trump, looking intently at the Spirit’s robe, “but I see something strange, and not belonging to yourself, protruding from your skirts. Is it a foot or a claw?”

“It might be a claw, for the flesh there is upon it,” was the Spirit’s sorrowful reply. “Look here.”

From the foldings of its robe, it brought two children; wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable. They knelt down at its feet, and clung upon the outside of its garment.

“Oh, Man! look here. Look, look, down here!” exclaimed the Ghost.

They were a boy and girl. Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish; but prostrate, too, in their humility. Where graceful youth should have filled their features out, and touched them with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled hand, like that of age, had pinched, and twisted them, and pulled them into shreds. Where angels might have sat enthroned, devils lurked, and glared out menacing. No change, no degradation, no perversion of humanity, in any grade, through all the mysteries of wonderful creation, has monsters half so horrible and dread.

Trump stood tall with his best Il Duce expression of triumph on his face. Having the children shown to him in this way, he said, “They are fine children,” for Trump could think of no reason to not lie. “Spirit! are they yours?”

“They are Man’s,” said the Spirit, looking down upon them. “And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased. Deny it!” cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city in the distance. “Slander those who tell it ye! Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. And bide the end!”

“Have they no refuge or resource?” cried Trump.

“Is minimum wage sufficient to live on?” asked the Spirit, turning on Trump with his own words. “Will tax cuts of the wealthy few and the great corporations trickle down to the poor and needy that haunt our cities and towns?”

The clock bell struck twelve.

Trump looked about him for the Ghost, and saw it not. Lifting up his eyes, he beheld a solemn Phantom, draped and hooded, coming, like a mist along the ground, towards him.

“Looks like the Spirit of Fake News,” said Trump.

To be continued...

Satan had no idea who he was messing with.
Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who enjoy an original horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King or Frank Peretti visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

A Christmas Carol For America Stave 2

STAVE 2: THE FIRST OF THE THREE SPIRITS

“Are you the Spirit, sir, whose coming was foretold to me?” asked Trump when he awoke at one a.m. to find a visage of Abraham Lincoln beside his bed.

“I am!” The voice was soft and gentle. Singularly high and screeching, as if instead of being so close beside him, it were at a distance.

“Who, and what are you?” Trump demanded.

“I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.”

“Long Past?” inquired Trump: observant of its tall stature.

“No. Your past.”

Trump then made bold to inquire what business brought him there.

“Your welfare!” said the Ghost.

Trump expressed himself much obliged, but could not help thinking that a night of unbroken rest would have been more conducive to that end. The Spirit must have heard him thinking, for it said immediately:

“Your reclamation, then. Take heed!”

It put out its strong hand as it spoke, and clasped him gently by the arm.

“Rise! and walk with me!”

It would have been in vain for Trump to plead that the weather and the hour were not adapted to pedestrian purposes; that bed was warm, and the thermometer a long way below freezing; that he was clad but lightly in his slippers, pajamas and robe; and that he had a cold upon him at that time. The grasp, though gentle as a woman’s hand, was not to be resisted. He rose: but finding that the Spirit made towards the window, clasped his coat in supplication.

“I am a mortal,” Trump remonstrated, “and liable to fall.”

“Bear but a touch of my hand there,” said the Spirit, laying it upon his heart, “and you shall be upheld in more than this!”

As the words were spoken, they passed through the wall, and stood upon a television studio. “Good Heaven!” said Trump, clasping his hands together, as he looked about him. “I was a TV star in this place!”

The Spirit gazed upon him mildly. Its gentle touch, though it had been light and instantaneous, appeared still present to the old man’s sense of feeling. He was conscious of a thousand odors floating in the air, each one connected with a thousand memories, and hopes, and joys, and cares long, long, forgotten!

“Here you fired celebrities for no other reasons than ratings and you had the power to do it without question,” said the Ghost of Christmas Past.

“Fake News!” cried Trump. “I fired them all because they were incompetent louts unworthy of their own star status. They needed firing and I fired them because I was a good man of business.”

“Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands. “Mankind is your business. The common welfare is your business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, are, all, your business. The dealings of your investments and businesses are but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of your business!”

“Fake News,” cried Trump.

To be continued...

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

A Christmas Carol For America Stave 1

WITH APOLOGIES TO CHARLES DICKENS: A parody is a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious work of literature or writing. This is my parody of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol in which I replace Scrooge with President Trump. I borrowed most of the copy from Dickens’ original text while changing, deleting and adding things to reflect the current political times.

STAVE ONE: THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION’S GHOST

Once upon a time—of all the good days in the year, on Christmas Eve—old Trump sat busy in his White House after the close of Presidential business and his staff abandoning him in favor of the holiday. The Oval Office door flew open with a booming sound, and then slammed shut. Trump heard loud footsteps coming straight towards his office.

“It’s fake news!” said Trump. “I won’t believe it.”

His color changed though, when, without a pause, the loud noise came on through the Oval Office door, and passed into the room before his eyes.

Trump refused to believe though he looked the phantom of the Obama Administration through and through, and saw it standing before him; though he felt the chilling influence of its death-cold eyes; he fought against his senses.

“How now!” said Trump, caustic and cold as ever. “What do you want with me?”

“Much!”—Obama’s voice, no doubt about it.

“Who are you?”

“In life I was your predecessor, the Obama Administration. You don’t believe in me,” observed the Ghost.

“You’re fake news,” said Trump.

“Why do you doubt your senses?”

“Because,” said Trump, “a little thing affects them. A slight disorder of the Congress makes them cheats. You may be an unrepentant bit of the justice department, a blot of FBI files, a crumb of left over democracy, a fragment of underdone party loyalty. There’s more of the knave than of the grave about you, whatever you are!”

Trump was not much in the habit of cracking jokes, nor did he feel, in his heart, by any means waggish then. The truth is, that he tried to be smart, as a means of distracting his own attention, and keeping down his terror; for the spectre’s voice disturbed the very marrow in his bones.

At this the spirit raised a frightful cry with such a dismal and appalling noise, that Trump held on tight to his chair, to save himself from falling in a swoon. Trump fell upon his knees, and clasped his hands before his face.

“Mercy!” he said. “Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?”

“Man of the worldly mind!” replied the Ghost, “do you believe in me or not?”

“I do,” said Trump. “I must.”

“Hear me!” cried the Ghost. “My time is nearly gone.”

“I will,” said Trump. “But don’t be hard upon me!”

“You will be haunted,” resumed the Ghost, “by Three Spirits.”

Trump’s countenance fell almost as low as Hillary’s on election night. “Is that the chance and hope you mentioned?” Trump demanded, in a faltering voice.

“It is.”

“I—I think I’d rather not,” said Trump.

“Without their visits,” said the Ghost, “you cannot hope to shun the place your path inevitably leads. Expect the first to-morrow, when the clock tolls One.”

“Couldn’t I take ’em all at once, and have it over?” hinted Trump.

“Expect the second on the next night at the same hour. The third upon the next night when the last stroke of Twelve has ceased to vibrate. Look to see me no more; and look that, for your own sake, you remember what has passed between us!”

Trump tried to say “Fake News!” but stopped at the first word. And being, from the emotion he had undergone, or the fatigues of the day, or his glimpse of the Invisible World, or the dull conversation of the Ghost, or the lateness of the hour, much in need of repose; went straight to bed, and fell asleep upon the instant.

To be continued...

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Beginning Part 2

A prelude to my novel Fulfillment

Awake

Back inside the safety of the glowing light of an oil lamp and the lingering warmth of a fading cooking fire, Mary found her mother wiping the last of the plates.

“Where’s your dish, Mary?” Mother asked.

“Oh, I must have dropped it outside with the food. May I take Big Ears with me, Mother?”

“Mary, you’re such a child! Joseph wants a wife, not a pet.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask him. I think he likes dogs.”

“How would you know a thing like that?”

“I don’t really. I just said that I think he likes dogs. It’s what I think and what I hope. I will miss Big Ears if I can’t take him with me, Mother.”

“You’re not planning to take me along with you, too, are you?”

“Oh, Mother, of course not! You’re too old and besides, Daddy needs you here.”

“Thanks a lot, pal. Perhaps Daddy needs Big Ears. Somebody has to eat the scraps and I suppose lick the plates if you don’t run outside this instant and retrieve that plate, my young one.”

“Yes, mother. Where is Daddy, anyway?”

“He’s sleeping. He’s had a rough day and needs his rest. He’s not as young as he used to be. So you’ll be quiet, won’t you, dear?”

“Of course, Mother.”

As Mary started for the back door of the cottage, there was a loud rush of wind and the cooking fire flared up with a whoosh.

“Mother, what was that?”

“It’s probably just the wind. Perhaps a storm is on the way. We could use the rain.”

“It didn’t sound like any wind I ever heard,” Mary responded.

“Oh, Mary, the things you think about! Go get that plate, now. I’m waiting.”

Mary returned to the yard and snatched up the plate. Was that a giant moonlit shadow she saw crossing the stone wall behind her house again? Mary gasped for breath and then ran in.

“Mother, Big Ears never came for his supper. Do you suppose something could have happened to him?”

“Don’t be a worry-wart, child. He’s probably visiting his fiancé. Dogs get married too, sometimes.”

“No they don’t. They just pretend they’re married and make puppies.”

“Mary!”

“Well, it’s true.”

“You’re far too young to speak of such things.”

“I’m engaged to be married. I have to know about these things!”

“I suppose, but you’re still a little girl to me.”

“Mother!”

“I know, dear. Time flies on eagle’s wings while here below, we just get older.”

“I’m going to my room now, Mother.”

“Give your mother a kiss before you go.”

“Yes, Mother.”

As Mary turned away from kissing her mother’s cheek, she heard a loud, hissing snake-like voice, “Marrrry, I amm heeee whoooo destroyssss you. I am he who rulesssss.”

Mary turned back to her mother and asked, “What was that?”

“What was what,” Mother replied.

“That horrible voice.”

“What voice?”

Mary awoke in her bed. How long have I been asleep?

THE END

The story continues in my novel Fulfillment

Friday, December 15, 2017

Beginning Part 1

A prelude to my novel Fulfillment

Asleep

As Mary waited for sleep, her thoughts turned to the evil that now haunted her.

“Yes, Mother. I will, Mother,” Mary remembered answering. She was being polite and submissive, not exasperated the way she really felt. She remembered grabbing one of the plates and gathering the scrapings of vegetable skins and leftover bones along with the crumbs of bread from the new wooden eating table and taking them into the yard in back of the family cottage. There she placed the scraps on the ground and called, “Big Ears! Come eat your supper.”

Mary listened. The gathering darkness hurried her thoughts. She did not like to be alone outside when the sun went down, even in her own family’s yard. “Big Ears!” she called again. A loud whoosh of wind passed close behind her, rustling her skirt. She suppressed an urge to cry out, speaking a soft, “Oh!” instead. She turned around but there was nothing, only the ever darkening sky. In the distance beyond the village limits, the hills disappeared in the blackness against the night.

“Big Ears!” she cried again, this time in the new direction toward the hills behind her village home. There was no response so she bent over and emptied the plate onto the ground. While she was bent over, she heard the roar.

She thought at first it must be the roar of a lion, but of course there were no lions in the hills nowadays. Perhaps a wolf, or maybe a leopard, she thought. But wolves do not roar, do they? Must be a leopard. Or a jackal. She slowly straightened her tiny back and shivered. Her face, which had been smiling when she came out of the house, now bore a frown of worry and something else. Her eyes slowly began to show the something else when a huge dark shadow passed along a stone wall in the yard. Her mouth opened slowly as she held back the urge to scream as long as she could. When the roar came again, she released a suppressed “huh!” and then dropped the plate on top of Big Ears’ supper. She turned and ran.

To be continued...

Friday, December 8, 2017

Fulfillment

As one critic wrote:
“This may be the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.… Author Paul R. Lloyd has turned his fertile and vivid imagination loose on a story that millions of people hold sacred and find too familiar to grab much attention during its telling. But hold on to your hats! This one is different!”

I suspect most people today think of Christmas as that cheery time when we gather the family, exchange gifts, fool little people into believing in Santa Clause, and oh by the way, celebrate the birth of Jesus in that stable in long ago Bethlehem.

What could be sweeter than the birth of a baby destined to grow up to save us from the evil clutches of Satan and an eternity in hell? Cool story, right? Except buried near the end of the Bible version, King Herod orders the murder of every male child under age two in the town of Bethlehem. This mass murder probably included a lot of girl babies, if you think about it, because soldiers aren’t particular when they have to fend off moms and dads attempting to protect their young. This means a lot of moms and dads may have died as part of that horrible event. It’s likely that a number of Bethlehem families were entirely wiped out.

The purpose of the mass execution was to kill the Christ child who King Herod saw as a threat to his family’s dynasty. So here’s the thing – this act of violence shows believers that the enemy – Satan and his minions – were out to stop the Messiah from saving the world. We think of this as a type of spiritual warfare.

I found it interesting that in more than 2,000 years following the massacre, no one had written a story about what Satan was up to while God was about the business of sending Jesus to save the world. No one, that is, until I wrote Fulfillment.

My story is about realistic people rather than plaster saints. People in ancient Palestine laughed, cried, celebrated, worried and did all the other things we normal type modern folks do. Mary and Joseph in my novel battle Satan’s attempts to destroy them and their baby.

As I thought about putting this story to electronic paper, I considered what would Satan’s natural strategy be? If Jesus is the Son of God, then he is way too powerful for Satan to attack directly. So what do you do if you’re Satan? Kill the mother before Jesus is born, that’s what.

But Satan had no idea who he was messing with. Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Choose the Kindle version for yourself. Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who are not likely to read the original Christmas story in the Bible but will read a horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Fearless Fall Reading

GHOSTLY YET ROMANTIC HUMOR
What makes those noises in the hidden spaces in your home after you send the kids to bed with candy-swollen bellies on Halloween night? What better time to leave a light on and read my novel Hags. As the body count rises, the police arrest Micah Probert, the ex-con who appears mighty suspicious if you ask Ahlman Brown – the man with gossamer wings hidden under his shirt. And will Micah learn the secret to clear his name and save Naperville, Illinois, from ancient hags and demons bent on destruction?

“It's like stepping into a Peretti novel, where the characters of the book are joined by the unseen characters - angels and demons.” Becky Davis in her Amazon review of Fulfillment by Paul R. Lloyd.

“Fast. Intense. No way around it. Paul is a top-notch noir writer. Top-notch.” Thomas Phillips, author of The Molech Prophecy

HAGS PREVIEW
Megan pulled at her skirt as she sat down. She wished she had worn slacks instead of her shortest outfit.

Dr. Langdon stepped behind his desk and picked up a file. He returned to the front of the desk and sat in the open seat, pulling it over so it touched Megan’s chair. He smiled while he opened the file. “Let’s talk about what we can do to bring up your math grade, Megan. I’d hate to have you not graduate with your class.”

He patted her on the hand.

Megan crossed her legs and stared at a smudge on the wall behind Dr. Langdon’s desk. She waited for what other girls said always came next.

To choose the paperback or Kindle version, click here.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Moving My Writer's Group to Wheaton

The Write Time Writers Group will move our meetings from Geneva to Vineyard Church of DuPage in Wheaton starting Thursday, October 12, 2017. Meetings run from 7:30 pm to 9 pm. I lead the group with a focus on helping members perfect their craft through workshops, writing exercises and critiques. There is no cost for membership. Established in 2004, the group meets regularly on the second and fourth Thursdays each month and welcomes writers of all ages and levels of experience from teens through seniors. Vineyard Church of DuPage is located at 1900 Manchester Rd, Wheaton, IL 60187.

Please visit my author's page on Amazon to purchase my novels and short fiction. Click here.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Writing Prompt #7

Prompt: What is the meaning of the …

4 Minute Timed Writing Exercise

Result

What is the meaning of the grunge band in our living room? That stuff sucked back in my day and it still sucks now. Can’t you kids learn the violin for crying out loud.

But dad, we’re a retro group. We call ourselves the Retros so we have to play stuff that sounds grungy.

Yeah Mr D. We even have a song in our second set that’s like totally grody. Did you have grody in your day, Mr. D?

How about Beach Boys, kids. You can’t go wrong with the Beach Boys.

Dad, that’s the worst thing you ever said.

Beach Boys?

Yeah, girls can’t do beach boys. They’re a boy band.

Oh, you knew that?

Dad, we are history majors you know.

*************************

Choose one of my stories for your next reading experience. Please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.) Include a copy of your Amazon receipt or just the receipt number and I'll email a free ebook to you.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

What Real Dialogue Sounds Like

Read Like a Writer Series #4

Feature novel: Steel Pennies for $0.99.

Have you ever become frustrated by a story’s dialogue? It sounds stilted. No one really talks that way. If the gang banger was that ticked off, why didn’t he use cuss words?

Dialogue may be the most difficult lesson for a writer to learn, yet it’s the thing that throws you as a reader right out of the story and onto another book.

What does real dialogue sound like? Writers imitate the speech they hear around them, but often forget or never learned that in weaving a well-told tale, the dialogue moves the plot forward. The challenge is to make it sound like real people while leaving out unnecessary verbiage.

As a reader of dialogue, you can sharpen your ear the same way you hone your ear for music – by listening. Next time you’re out and about, pay attention to the speakers around you. Yes, I want you to eavesdrop. Where are the best places for this nefarious activity? Try the obvious like your local coffee shop. Sit on a bench at your local mall so you can listen to the tidbits of conversation you pick up as people pass you by. Listen at work or school. What are people saying and how do they say it? TV and movies also provide a base for dialogue, but be careful to listen to good TV or films.

One of the fun things with movie dialogue is to listen to the characters in the old movies from the thirties and forties. Listen for slang that is no longer used or sappy romance dialogue that wasn’t believable then and is plain laughable today. When was the last time you heard someone say, “Oh, you big lug?”

This month’s full-length feature novel is Steel Pennies. “I contemplated how my hand had been up inside Cynthia’s skull.” Check out Steel Pennies, a noir thriller coming of age novel set in 1960. Read a chunk free on Amazon. Hey, it’s only $0.99 today.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Improbable Fiction

Improbable Fiction is a play written by Alan Ackybourn that runs through June 4, 2017 featuring the Buffalo Theatre Ensemble at the McAninch Arts Center at College of DuPage located at Fawell and Park Boulevards in Glen Ellyn, IL. The play stars Robert Jordan Bailey who has graciously agreed to stop by for a blog visit. It’s a must-see for writers and anyone who loves a writer.

Tell us a bit about Improbable Fiction. What drew you to this play?
The script follows an amateur writing group’s monthly meeting. You get to know an amusing group of writers all struggling with the creative process. Act II turns what you have learned on its head by fancifully exploring a common exercise utilized by writers groups. The show is both an engaging character study and a rip-roaring farce.

BTE has a long history with the playwirght, Alan Ackybourn. This particular script was written for the 50th anniversary celebration of the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough, England, where he served as artistic director. Since this is BTE’s 30th anniversary season, we thought the celebratory tie-in appropriate. We also loved the theatricality of the piece and the way it speaks to and pokes fun at the creative process while all the while championing the effort.

What originally drew me to this play? Well to be honest, when I first read it, I wasn’t a fan. But one of the distinguishing elements of playscripts is that they are not a sum unto themselves but simply the written pathway for what is intended to be a live action event. Sometimes what is on the page is hard to visualize. Thankfully Connie and Amelia (our artistic director and associate director) saw the charm and potential that eluded me. Once I started working on the piece, I saw so much that I had missed. I love playing Arnold. He is such a sweet, open soul, full of heart and empathy.

What can audiences expect when they go to see Improbable Fiction?
Surprises! Act I is all about getting to know the members of the writers group – and they are a lovable bunch of eccentrics. But Act II takes a surprising turn that keeps you guessing until the end! Audiences can expect to fall in love with these characters but also expect to leave the evening sore from belly laughs! And there are clever insights along the way as well.

What do you find to be most interesting about your character in Improbable Fiction?
Arnold has great empathy for the struggles of the other writers in the group while not having a shred of self-pity for his own perceived lack of creative imagination. His backstory is that of a man who constantly gives of himself and has unwittingly crafted an idea of himself that may be flawed. I find the flawed narratives we accidentally write for ourselves to be fascinating. You don’t know what you don’t know, right? Arnold also ends up caught in crazy and shocking events and, for me, getting to play that is a comic gift. It’s sort of like being in an old episode of “Bewitched!”

What is your favorite thing about acting?
Gosh, that’s a hard one. I’ve been acting for thirty years now and I would have to say there have probably been different “favorite” things at different times. Actor friends would harass me for saying it – as it sounds horribly pretentious – but I really love the “work” of it. The research, (learning about time of the script, background of the character, dialect, etc.), creating a character and establishing the relationships with the other characters. One of the first things audiences often comment on is “how did you memorize all those lines?” but that’s only the start. Knowing what your character says and how he chooses to say it informs so much of what you create. And the BTE rehearsal process is so quick (5 weeks), one needs to show up the first day completely memorized!

Have you ever tried to write a novel?
I have thought about it. I love to read – something theatre gets in the way of – and I have toyed with giving writing a try. They say everyone has one novel in them, maybe I will attempt to squeeze mine out one day.

What do you have coming up next?
BTE is gearing up for its 31st season so I am putting a lot of energy into that. As an ensemble and board member, I am involved even when I am not on stage. All three shows of our 31st season – 39 Steps, Time Stands Still and Outside Mullingar, focus on lovers whose relationships are in flux. I will be acting in the Spring show Outside Mullingar. It’s a more serious script than what I have done this year. Though I love farce, drama with a hint of comedy is what I really love doing. If you haven’t gotten your subscription for next year, please purchase it before June 6th so you get the 25% discount! I have also been doing some auditions so who knows, maybe I will pop up on some other stages before spring of 2018!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Are You The Best Person to Write Your Book?

Blog Your Way to a Book Series #4

Before reading this blog, take advantage of my special offer of a free ebook in honor of St.Patrick's Day. Click the Special Offers button above for more information.

Of course you are! You’re the expert in your chosen topic – or you will be by the time you research your topic and place your unique spin on it. You need two things to qualify as a business book author. You can handle both of them or hire a pro for the job. But in the end, your blog post requires the involvement of your brain. Two things you need to qualify as the best person to write your book:
1. Writing Skills
2. Something to Say

Writing Skills
Well, duh. Remember in this series you don’t have to worry about writing your book yet. Instead, write a series of simple blog posts. Posts may run anywhere from about a hundred words to say 500 at the high end. Write your blog post until finished. If it seems long, chop it into two blog posts. Writing a blog post requires:
Knowledge and expertise: Write your message based on your expertise for the topic and theme you have already chosen (review the previous blog post on this topic if you haven’t taken this step yet.)
Critical thinking skills: When you write about a topic you have to analyze it and render judgments that will inform your readers and motivate them to act in new ways.
Wordsmithing: You should have at least a basic understanding of how to structure a sentence and paragraph. If you don’t, consider an English 101 class at your local community college. You need to understand basic grammar, word choice, and other things that constitute a well-crafted essay. Otherwise, you will require a budget for a professional, like me, to write and edit for you.
Storytelling: Create a well-crafted message with impact that motivates your readers to take an action. Storytelling involves the way you set up your topic in the reader’s mind and then wow them with a compelling statement that builds tension in the reader’s mind. Hook the reader’s attention and keep hooking them throughout your blog post with challenging statements and questions that continue to raise the level of tension. Tension is the key to storytelling. It’s the feeling in the reader’s heart that makes them want to know more.
Promotion: Blog posts succeed when you attract readers. When you blog your way to a book, you will at the same time build readership for your book when it comes out.

The second thing is having something to say about your topic. I’ll dive into what to say in my next blog post on this topic. In the meantime, have fun. And if you would like my help as a coach, post a comment below or contact me at paul dot Lloyd dot author at gmail dot com.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Writing Prompt #6

Prompt: When Martie caught the grunge…

4 Minute Timed Writing Result
When Martie caught the grunge, Blimslammer didn’t understand her immediate needs but caught on quickly when Martie slammed the bathroom door in his face.

“On Triffedoink, we use 100% of our consumption so the grunge doesn’t exist,” said Blimslammer.

“Well, we need a private moment here on earth platform G7 and the artificial gravity really doesn’t do what it’s supposed to, so now I’ll need a shower, won’t I? So you go find something to do while I clean up.”

“Okay. No worries. I’ll make dinner.”

*************************
I would be honored if you chose one of my novels for your next Amazon reading experience by clicking here. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers. Click here for my email which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Monday, November 28, 2016

What Are Your Business Passions?

Blog Your Way to a Book Series #3

Writing a book about your business expertise? Start by making a list of the things you might write about as blog posts. Later, you’ll gather the blog posts into a book. Business activities to place on your list:

Favorites that you are passionate about
Things you have special knowledge or experience about
Significant problems you have solved
New innovations you developed
Ways you improved existing methods
Anything else that interests you

Write your list and save it for future reference, but before you do, choose one topic that most appeals to you. This may be a tough decision, but you’re up to the challenge. Ask a few associates to choose one from your list that best describes what you know or do best. Often your colleagues and customers know your business expertise better than you do. Once you’ve gathered the list and surveyed your network, pick one topic to be the main focus of your book. The other items on the list will be useful as supporting material for your main topic.

With a topic in mind, think about a theme. Your theme is the main idea or underlying principle behind your book’s topic. For example, the topic of Jim Egerton’s book, Business on the Board, is how to deploy effective strategies and tactics in managing your business, functional area or department. His theme is: Use chess to guide your business decision making.

Once you have a topic and a theme in place, answer the following question: What is the wildest or most unexpected thing you can say about your topic?

Make a list of wild and unexpected statements about your topic and theme. Don’t worry about whether they are true or false at this point. The idea is to circle around your topic and theme to give your book a sense of direction. Think of this exercise as a way to fine tune your topic and theme or test it to see if it passes the “Who cares” test.

Have fun. And if you would like my coaching help, post a comment below or click here to contact me at paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Buzzsaw Brain Training

The mind is like a buzzsaw, it can rip and tear, hurt or maim. It can kill a relationship. Put a break on your buzzsaw ways by thinking before you speak or act. Attach a brake to your mind to achieve a quality work life as part of a successful family and career. It all starts with work life balance.

If you try to feed wood into a buzzsaw improperly, the saw will jamb or the wood will be kicked out and thrown across the room, or it could be sucked into the blade and drag your hand with it before you can let go.

A brain works the same way. Thoughts are like pieces of wood. If you feed thoughts through your brain properly, you will have good things to say – uplifting things – funny things – happy things – compassionate things – consoling things – profitable things.

If you feed thoughts through your brain in the wrong way – evil thoughts will kick out – you may say unkind things – hateful things – degrading things – sad things – unprofitable things.

Train your brain. It’s like a muscle. It gets stronger with exercise. You will grow with it. Your spirit will grow with it also.

Here’s my contribution to brain training: Click on my BOGO page above, and you’ll discover how to purchase one of my novels or short stories and then receive The Case of the Knife-Tossing Networker: 12 Mysteries Requiring Deductive Reasoning for free. This 154-page PDF ebook includes a Special Bonus: The first 9 chapters of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. Not only will you exercise your brain by demonstrating your skills in using the Internet to make a purchase, but you’ll also stretch your mind as you try to solve each of the 12 mysteries that require you to use deductive reasoning to figure out whodunit. No worries about solving the mysteries because I provided the answers for you in case you become stumped. ACT NOW because it’s free with a purchase and an offer like this is not here to stay.

Monday, October 31, 2016

Favorite Halloween Posts

As it turns out, I haven’t posted a scary story on Halloween on the blog. Instead, here are three past posts for your consideration for your Halloween reading.

Not Just Any Ghost
Rediscovering the Ring
How can a Christian write a story where a character commits a murder?

Among my novels, Hags, Steel Pennies and the Snpgrdxz series should tickle your scary bone. Save Fulfillment for your Christmas season reading.

I would be honored if you chose one of my stories for your next reading experience. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Writing Prompt #5

Prompt: Gather your woolens, mateys, there’s a storm a brewing.

4 Minute Timed Writing Result
Gather your woolens, mateys, there’s a storm a brewing.
Be there pirates and buccaneers, Cap’n Hightrousers?
I’ll take a dozen.
A dozen what?
Ears of that corn there. Buck a piece, right?
What are you talking about?
You said buck an ear. Here you go, matey.
Prices are high this summer. What happened to saving money at the farmers market?
In Naperville? You’ve got to be kidding me.

*************************

I would be honored if you chose one of my stories for your next reading experience. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Squeeze Out the Cider

The cider press is painful to the apple, but joyful for the juice. Maintaining a work life balance works the same way. You seek a quality work life yet find it often puts the squeeze on you as you attempt to maintain your family and career.

Cider is the liquid essence of all that is good and sweet in an apple. In the same way, you are put through the cider press of life which is always a painful experience while you are undergoing the pressure of the press. However, it is joyful to be on the other side of the press, a transformed soul for the Lord. Take care that you do not spoil and lose your sweetness, but if you do, then even vinegar has its work to do in the purification of God’s people.

What is your joy today? Is it the joy of working? Or parenting? Or studying? The greatest joy and therefore the greatest challenge in life is blessing others. It’s counter intuitive. We naturally think of ourselves, our needs, our wants and our desires. Ayn Rand called this the “virtue of selfishness,” but Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Self-centered thinking is easy since all you have to do is focus on the person you love most – yourself. It’s not easy to turn that thinking around to bless others.

In my younger years, I focused almost entirely on myself. As I matured, I learned that it was good to love others and to bless them with my gifts. Today, I seek to bless others through my smile where once I never smiled, a kind word where once I was silent, or a friendly hug where once I kept to myself.

………………………………………………
Here’s another blessing for you. Try Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. It’s book 1 of my new time travel adventure series available in ebook and paperback formats. Both qualify for my BOGO so be sure to click on the BOGO button above so you can obtain two full-length books for the price of one. The second book is The Case of the Knife-Tossing Networker: 12 Mysteries Requiring Deductive Reasoning. This 154-page PDF ebook is not available on Amazon or other book sales outlets.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Are You an Expert?

Blog Your Way to a Book Series #2

When you publish a book, you automatically qualify as an expert because… well… you wrote the book, didn’t you?

But how do you attain the confidence that you are an expert in the first place? Begin by understanding the two kinds of experts:

Knowledge experts: people who carry most of the needed information around inside their heads as a result of education and experience. Physicians fall into this category as do other professionals like lawyers and accountants. You already have a certain amount of knowledge expertise thanks to your education and business experience so you bring at least some of this kind of expertise to your book. You may even bring a lot of this type of expertise to your book project. But either way, you will want to use the other kind or expertise as well.

Research and Reporting Experts: People who research a topic and then report on their findings are experts. College professors fall into this category. For example, a philosophy professor has researched the world of philosophy to the extent that he or she now has a Ph.D. in the subject. The information the professor shares in their philosophy classes is derived from their research and learning experience. They also bring some of their original thinking to the class, but most of the “facts” are derived from research. You have this kind of expertise whenever you learn something through a Google search or a grad school class. You will use this kind of research and reporting in the process of writing your book.

When you combine your knowledge, experience and research, you build the base of knowledge needed to write your book. You also want to add your own insights, opinions and recommendations to the mix of expertise deployed in a book writing project.

Think about the know-how you have acquired through your education and experience. Make a list of things you know well and then review it to see if it points you in the direction of a topic you’d like to write about. Have fun. And if you would like my coaching help, post a comment below or contact me through my company’s info@ email address at ironlayersecurity.com.

Monday, October 3, 2016

What to Read For

Read Like a Writer Series #2

For your personal reading, try a balance of classical literature and modern. The authors of the classic novels will teach you about stories that hold their appeal over the generations. The current bestselling authors will teach you about the kind of writing that succeeds today.

The first time you read a story, enjoy it. If you like the story, study the plot to learn how the author builds the story to a climax by ratcheting up the suspense as the story moves forward.

What problems keep the main character from success? What is the big issue the main character has to deal with in the story? This problem will be so big that it starts early in the story and isn’t solved until the climax. What is the main character’s secret problem – so secret he or she isn’t even aware of it? This problem will be psychological rather than physical. This hidden problem also takes the whole story to develop, reveal and solve.

Study the way the author develops the characters. How do they change as the story progresses? Observe the author’s voice in the story. What is unique or special about the way the author writes? What’s the theme of the story? Did you spot multiple themes?

Read the story several times until you understand how the author created it. Consider what works and what doesn’t work. For the classics, ask if the story would be published by today’s publishers? Consider what makes a classic a “forever” story.

I would be honored if you choose one of my stories for your next reading experience. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Friday, September 30, 2016

Writing Prompt #4

Prompt: Bridgette fell from the…

4 Minute Timed Writing Result
Bridgette fell from the larger of the two sunflowers. How she happened to be up there, while something of mystery in regards to the why part of it, was easy to explain in terms of the how. Gilplaster’s ladder leaning against the stem of the 40 ft. plant explained that to everyone’s satisfaction except Principal Parsons who insisted the ladder needed dusting for fingerprints before he would believe anything. Bridgette had "ladder polishing" on her job description so naturally her fingerprints were all over the ladder, but this held no sway with Principal Parsons.

*************************

I would be honored if you chose one of my stories for your next reading experience. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure out that email address so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Fill a Box with Your Thoughts

A quality work life is essential to success, but we need to consider our family and career. This article looks at one aspect of work life balance using the image of a box as a container for your thoughts.

The thoughts are all jumbled in the thought box. They need to be organized. They are a confused, bunch of ideas. Organize your thinking so that there is no confusion. Take out each piece of crumbled up thought and organize it according to a plan.

Some thoughts can be filed one way, some another. Some can be cross-referenced and duplicated. Redundancy is good in thinking because it helps you retain the message.

Start a real thought box. Whenever you think of something, write it down and add it to your thought box. Then with a box full of thoughts you won’t be so thoughtless.

When the thoughts pile up big enough, organize them. The thoughts represent a blessing to you in the form of ideas, opportunities and solutions to problems. The important thing is to not be so thoughtless. Then you too can become a blessing among God’s people.

Have fun watching your thoughts grow. Fill the box with joy. Receive the ideas with gratitude and then share them with others. Go in peace.

Another Thought
Try clicking on my BOGO (Buy One, Get One Free) page above. Purchase one of my novels or short stories and receive The Case of the Knife-Tossing Networker: 12 Mysteries Requiring Deductive Reasoning. This 154-page PDF ebook includes a Special Bonus: The first 9 chapters of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.

Monday, September 26, 2016

No More Football

We are one nation under God. Let’s keep it that way. We can disagree on religion, politics and just about any other topic you can think of. You can divide us into categories based on what we look like, where our ancestors came from, what we believe, what we read, what we watch or in any other way you choose. BUT we are all Americans and we stand united as one nation.

To symbolize our unity as a nation, we have chosen a flag of 50 stars and 13 stripes. It’s red, white and blue. When our precious flag waves it means we are still the “land of the free and the home of the brave.” Anyone who desecrates the American flag or refuses to honor it during the playing of our national anthem disrespects what America stands for.

America is not a perfect place. No country is perfect. It’s right to protest when you believe you have been wronged or when you feel a disenfranchised group needs to raise its voice. But when the flag is raised and our national anthem is played, we should all stand together as one. One of the best examples of this unity in diversity concept has traditionally been our sports events. Two teams, bitter enemies, stand together as Americans to honor the flag and our national anthem before the game begins. There are plenty of opportunities to protest or express your personal beliefs without seeking to break the bond of unity that is our nation.

With the recent decision of professional football players to dishonor the anthem, I have decided to dishonor the sport of professional football by no longer watching the game on television or attending any professional games. You are invited to join me in this protest.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Write That Book!

Blog Your Way to a Book Series #1

Writing a business book is one of the scariest of activities. Yet, becoming an author is often the key to opening the door to promotions and new job offers, launching a new business, taking a local business global, and increasing sales. Along the way, your book project becomes the means for taking your expertise to a new level through research and learning opportunities associated with your book project.

But Paul, book writing is such a huge project!
You can handle it because you’re not going to sit down and write a book. You’re busy and you don’t have the time in today’s fast paced world. What you do have time to accomplish is a blog. With enough planning upfront, you can turn your blog posts into a book. Think what you can do with a 15-minute daily commitment. And if you find you have more time on your hands for the writing process, you can speed the whole thing up and get your book to market faster.

How book is a book?
Books in the traditional book store sense can run to several hundred pages. But with the Internet, people are self-publishing ebooks of a much shorter length. With planning, you can write a series of small books and later combine them into one large book so you don’t have to wait for long before you have your book up on Amazon. And you do it by first writing blog posts.

Hey, Paul, I don’t know what to write about.
You may feel that you are no expert like those national gurus who come around making speeches and selling lots of books and six-figure consulting gigs. Guess what? Those folks didn’t start out as experts either. They became specialists when they combined their knowledge and experience with a boatload of research needed to write a book about their topic. And they don’t think of their book as an educational tool for a grad school class. Instead, they use it like a company brochure or business card to minimize or eliminate their competition.

I’ll write more about what it means to be an expert in the next post in this series. In the meantime, start thinking about your area of expertise. What would make a good book topic for you? And begin having fun by outlining and writing about your book idea. And if you would like my coaching help, post a comment below or contact me through my company’s info@ email address at ironlayersecurity.com.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Read Like a Writer

Read Like a Writer Series #1

In high school and college literature classes you are taught to read like a critic. In criticism, you are concerned about how the novel, short story or poem fits into the long history of literature. To understand the book you are reading, you want to first have an understanding of the main currents in English and American literature. As part of this study, you will learn about story structure, but the main focus is on the way the story fits with other stories in the same genre or school of literature.

Writing a story is about constructing a story that hooks your interest and holds it to the end. The more the writer knows about literary tradition, the better the writer will be at producing a story consistent with past trends in literature. But the main issue for the writer is crafting an interesting story rather than its literary merit. To put this in perspective, I have heard too many literature professors over the years say something along the lines of: “We know a good story when we read one, but we can’t always tell why it’s good.” That’s a critical opinion. A writer on the other hand better know what makes a good story good or he or she won’t be able to write a good story.

This blog series is about how to read a novel or short story like a writer writes a story. The first rule in reading a story is to simply enjoy it. If it’s no fun to read, then it’s okay to not finish it. An author has to earn your reading time by holding your interest.

Rule number 2 in reading a story is on you. You are allowed to stop reading at the words THE END and move on to another story. However, if you ever wondered how the writer “did it.” That is, how the writer got you excited about the story and moved you in some way, then you want to turn back to the beginning of the story and take another look. This series is about what to look for when you take that second look. Over time you will learn to see some of these things the first time around, but it’s always okay to take a second look at a favorite story. And a third, a fourth, a fifth, etc. It’s up to you.

I would be honored if you chose one of my stories for your next reading experience. If you do, please let me know how you enjoyed it by commenting below or on Amazon. I also enjoy hearing from readers at my author’s email address which is paul dot lloyd dot author at gmail dot com. (Thanks for taking time to figure that email address out so I don’t have to worry about the spider bots getting me.)

Be sure to click on the BOGO button above for my latest buy one, get one free book offer.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Are you a big wheel?

Work-Life Balance Series

Picture an auto tire mounted on a fancy wheel with golden spokes. Notice how the spokes crisscross each other. The spokes are gold, the tire is black. The overall effect is of an upscale wheel fit for a driver who appreciates the finer things. People who drive cars with spoked wheels can afford anything they want.

Look at the spokes carefully. See how they crisscross? On the job, your team crisscrosses like this when they share responsibilities. When your team works in harmony like this, it’s a beautiful sight to behold. When your team fails to act together, the results won’t hold air and your project will go flub... flub... flub down the road until it comes to a halt. The team achieves nothing.

Be careful how your work team crisscrosses its roles. The person who is best at a certain task should be the one who performs that task. It’s okay to crisscross roles on occasion but don’t overdo it. Switch roles to help each other carry their burdens.

Now, a product that looks like a high-priced wheel is fit for the carriage set. Price such a product high because they are willing to pay. You might not sell as many of these products, but your financial return on each one will be great. Which of your products is the high price one with the crisscrossed golden spokes? How much do you want to charge for it? It’s okay to be outrageous with the pricing of one of your products. It will make the others seem a better buy and you will sell more of those.

Do you want to give one product away? Double the price of another to earn back the money you lose through the giveaway. The other products are to be priced progressively in-between.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Where to find story ideas worthy of your writing time

What do you like to write about? As the brand statement in my banner above states, I focus on writing "Fiction that explores the monsters and strangers among us.” I also write nonfiction on assignment from companies and individuals, especially those who want to publish or self-publish their own business books. But fiction is what I love to write because, at heart, I’m a story teller. The “monsters and strangers” bit comes from something that happens almost every time I create a story. A monster shows up or a weird person pops in who definitely fits the definition of “stranger” that your mother warned you to stay away from.

There’s an old song with the line “Love is Strange” recorded by Mickey & Sylvia. The title is especially true when the lovers in a tale include at least one strange person or monster.

I enjoy spinning yarns about lovers in the moonlight, but don’t be surprised if one of my lovers grows a long snout, sharp fangs and lots of hair when the moon is full.

So where do my strange story ideas come from? Sometimes I begin with a single sentence that pops into my mind or when I have a young man in mind who is about to meet the girl. As I wander down the page with the keys clicking like crazy, something happens in chapter 4 or 5 or 6 when a monster or stranger shows up. I dump the first 4 or 5 or 6 chapters and begin with the stranger. Why? Strangers are interesting. Lovers only so-so. I have to admit that as I have grown as an author, I'm less likely to dump an entire chapter. Instead, I just hang out at my desk until the monster shows up so I can start the story with reader-grabbing moment.

Other times I recall a nightmare and write about it. It could be a regular, ordinary nice dream, but those usually aren’t memorable enough to make it to the keyboard.

Another place story ideas show up is when you play the “what if” game. What if a boy meets a girl at the beach and they fall in love? Nah, it’s been done. How can we make it more interesting? Boy meets girl? Well, duh, that has to happen, but what if it’s not a pleasant first meeting? What if the meeting takes place in a forbidden place?

Here’s an example…
What if a teenage boy wakes up in the middle of the night to discover the girl he has a crush on has pointed a pistol at him. It’s not the way he imagined her in his bedroom at that hour. She proceeds to insult his private parts that, as far as he can recall, she has never seen, but she insults them anyway.

The girl fires her pistol.

Fortunately, the boy’s best friend breaks in with a possible female terrorist. They’re both carrying military-style rifles with bayonets fixed. The teenage girl terrorist takes out pistol girl all the way through the bedroom window. The boy’s best friend announces “This didn’t happen.” He then leaves with the terrorist.

As it turns out, the female terrorist isn’t a fanatic at all. She’s a teenage alien shapeshifter from some planet on the other side of the galaxy who crashed on earth and is now dodging the men in black. The boy could chalk up the whole episode to a nasty dream, except that doesn’t explain the actual bullet hole above his bed, does it? And it doesn’t explain the broken window his teenage crush crashed through with a bayonet sticking out of her chest.

And that’s just for starters.

I find the events described above fascinating, especially when you find out that the young lady who fired the weapon is still alive, was never stabbed, and has no recollection of the event despite the bullet hole’s continued existence above the boy’s bed. How does the boy with the crush know all this? It becomes obvious when the girl climbs back in through the window the next night with romance in mind.

The right story idea leads to interesting events, places and the strangers among us. It’s why I like to write about them in my novels. If you want to read how the story described above turns out, download a copy of my ebook Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters from Amazon. Also available in paperback.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

How to Get Started Writing Your Own Business Book

Business Book Writing Made Easy Series

How would it feel to hand a book with your name as the author to a sales prospect or business associate? Maybe you just want to impress your boss or other higher ups in your company. Or you want to enhance your job hunting prospects. Maybe you can even use a business book to jumpstart your own business.

You know showing up at work with your own self-published business book would send your credibility through the roof, wouldn’t it? A business book is the most powerful marketing tool you can imagine. Among the many uses for a business book, you can:

Engage your customers at the very time they are thinking about your topic.
Position yourself as the expert instead of somebody just trying to sell something.
Teach your customers the way you want them taught

With a business book, your voice dominates the reader’s mind while they consider your topic and related products and services. With a book writing plan you can accomplish the following:

Write and edit your book better and faster so your readers can’t put it down
Build your online readership before you market your book
Add to your credibility as a speaker and subject matter expert (SME)

Take the first step
Writing your first business book is like eating an elephant. It’s overwhelming. Instead of tackling an entire book, just write the outline. That’s the first step in your business book writing plan. There are many more steps along the way that I simply can’t cover in a single blog post. But here’s a bonus step that will help you get started writing from your outline. Take one item from your outline and write about it for use in information outlets like:

Trade Magazine article
Email Newsletter (Yours and other people’s)
Blog post (Yours and other people’s)
You Tube Video
Website content

Later, you can repurpose the content you created around a single idea or bullet point from your book outline back into your book as a chapter or portion of a chapter.

Questions?
I’ll include more about writing your own business book in future posts, but if you want to jumpstart your business book writing process, email your questions to me. Use BOOK QUESTION in the subject line. If you would like to book (no pun intended) me for a speaking gig on how to write business books, use SPEAKER REQUEST as the subject line. The email address is the proper format for paul at zuklloyd dot com. Or click here.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The Baby Boom Generation Caused Global Warming

That’s right, folks. I figured it out this morning while lollygagging in bed doing what comes natural to me until I realized that every Boomer on the planet does the same thing. Think about it. I’m not talking about the occasional blip, blat or pfft. Not at all.

Do you realize how huge the population of Boomers is? We’re the biggest population bubble ever to burst onto the scene. And here we are today in our senior moments making like Machinegun Kelly. The atmosphere never had a chance with Boomers firing their guns at once and exploding into space to cause a huge buildup of methane in the upper atmosphere.

As you well know methane is the primary cause of global warming. Just ask any cow. Yes, Boomers in our great numbers have become the cause of the worldwide warm up. The only thing safe for us to do is return to those days of yesteryear of calm, relaxing youth when nothing worried us, not even the occasional skull found in a field by the woods where we used to play Army and kill each other.

Global warming is real, folks, so you have another reason to worry about those pesky underwear changing moments or the occasional SBD. As the prophet Pogo warned in the Book of Possum, “We have met the enemy and they are us.”

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What Inspires Writers?

The short answer is a lot of things can kickstart a novel project. It could be the observation of an event like a Fourth of July Parade. Hmmm, I wonder what it would be like to begin a story with a day-walking teenage vampire trombone player in the local high school band with fangs protruding around his mouthpiece?

Or it could be a person you see while riding the subway late at night and hoping you don’t get mugged. She’s not very attractive mainly because pretty girls know how to bum a ride home with a smile, but that young lady with oversized forehead, too small ears and ink covering her neck just has an air about her like I could cast her as the girlfriend in an inner-city horror romance.

Another way writers stay motivated is by reading. I enjoy all kinds of fiction both for pleasure and to learn from the best. As a fan of the films made from novels by Nicholas Sparks, I thought it was time to read one. I chose Safe Haven because I enjoyed the film almost as much as I enjoyed A Walk to Remember.

Observations Concerning Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks
1. His main character is an avatar for his market: A 27-year old female
2. His writing style imitates the way a woman would tell the story
     A. Long narration
     B. Deep dive on details
     C. Not just the menu, but half the recipe
     D. Not just a description of outer clothes but deep dive into undergarments and outer garments with details about pattern, color, source, pricing, etc. Why choose this garment instead of another, etc.
     E. Deep dive into mental state and emotions
     F. Back story/flashback used extensively as a driver for the story
     G. Progressive reveal of the thriller story to build fear and anxiety
3. Writes in romance genre style
     A. Story is a romance
     B. Story also includes a thriller that he writes in romance style – a very slowed-down approach to the thriller style.
     C. Story is also a ghost story that is hidden until the end but hinted at and set up with foreshadowing
     D. Use of soft hooks
     E. Happy ending resolves all major plot points
4. Main character fulfills female reader’s fantasies
     A. In mortal danger – generates sympathy while building “this could be me” story
     B. Rescued by handsome man
     C. Has best female friend to help and guide
     D. Has romance with man other than her husband
     E. Starts a new life somewhere else
     F. Must provide care for young children to bring out reader’s motherly instincts
     G. Feels guilt and shame for her situation despite it not being her fault

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Teaching Workshops at Karitos Indy

I’ve been invited to return for this year’s Karitos/Indy event. I’ll be teaching two workshops and enjoying an exciting Christian Arts weekend. Karitos/Indy, like it’s counterpart in Chicago in July, includes workshops in many art forms, all with a Christian perspective.

You can save money by registering ahead of time by visiting the Karitos/Indy website. Save a few bucks by registering on the payment page. The easy way, of course, is to simply pay at the door for a few dollars more for this 2-Day event.

Location: Suburbs west of Indianapolis
Bread of Life Ministries
7510 East CR 100 North
Avon, IN 46123

Dates/Times
Friday, May 13, 2016 at 12:00 PM - Saturday, May 14, 2016 at 10:00 PM (EDT)

My Workshops

Workshop 1: Hearing His Voice in Our Writing
This class explores the art of writing what you hear from the Lord and then polishing it for sharing with others. The guiding principle for this class is the Lord will be with you while you write and while you edit your work. The class covers:

How writers hear from the Lord
--Listening prayer
--Inspiration while writing
--Other ways (open discussion)
Writing down what you hear
Editing/polishing your writing
How to find Bible proof texts to support what you have heard
Let’s listen and share (time permitting – 3-minute writing exercise and sharing)

Workshop 2: Releasing Your Writing
You’ve learned to listen for the Holy Spirit guiding you in prayer or simply while you are about your daily tasks. Perhaps you enjoy creating poetry or stories and feel the Lord guiding you as you write. This class explores ways to share your writing. The class covers:

Blogs
Email
Social Media
Traditional Publishing
Self-Publishing
Speeches
Sharing at Church

Each type of media outlet has its own conventions regarding writing. We will discuss how to reshape your writing for sharing through different media.

Learn more about this event, including other workshops and arts, please visit the Karitos/Indy website: www.karitos.org/indy/index.php

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Writing Prompt Results #3

Prompt: The launch went not quite as expected…

4 Minutes Timed Writing Results

The launch went not quite as expected but there’s usually a glitch, an out of position o-ring, a loose nut behind the wheel, a gizmo floating around, a paramour snuck on board at the last moment. Usually the Flimbuster 100 lifts silently spinning slowly like a somnolent top on a lazy Alabama afternoon, near Selma, not Birmingham. Birmingham sucks but that’s another tale and a hound dog of a different color, the kind that don’t hunt. It wasn’t until we had circled the moon for the slingshot to Mars that we noticed Lt. Marsha McCann sneaking off to the equipment bank which no one needed to visit until Mars orbit. I followed and sure enough a bearded wing nut …

Monday, February 1, 2016

Writing Prompt Results #2

Prompt: Never underestimate a...

4 Minutes Timed Writing Results

Never underestimate a cowgirl on a Burma bull holding a mini-howitzer. Especially if her first name is Calamity. The Burma bull came west on the Chicago train and broke loose in the middle of South Dakota where Calamity had just shot RogerBuck, her 12-year-old horse not because he broke his leg but because he broke hers. Calamity and Bufford became fast friends. Why she named the Burma Bull "Bufford" is anyone’s guess. Most folks around here…

Friday, January 29, 2016

Writing Prompt Results #1

Prompt: Beatrice bottomed on Alabaster Street near Main

4 Minutes Timed Writing Results

Beatrice bottomed on Alabaster Street near Main where John Bergstrum painted the front end of an Elgin-bound PACE bus with his face. Red isn’t the best bus color, but with the economy, you take what you can get. She brushed herself off, adjusted her fangs and wiggled her ears to command the lander module to drop down the access stairway. Unfortunately, she didn’t move out of the way in time and wound up in the 18th century where she had to adjust her fangs, wiggle her ears and tickle her belly button to return to time normal and that stairway to nowhere. Well, it looked like it went nowhere which made Suzy Barklotter think it was the stairway to …

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Enter the Secret World of the Strangers and Monsters Among Us

Delve into the secret world of the monsters and strangers among us. Here are examples from my novels:

Fulfillment: Satan and his minions; Nathan, an evil-possessed killer posing as a would-be lover; and Bezalel, a Captain of the King’s Guard who would kill anyone on the king’s orders, including innocent babies.

Hags: Denise Appleby, a hag as old as the middle ages and as young and pretty as a girl of twenty; Lionel Langdon, a merciless serial killer and rapist; Ahlman Brown, a demon posing as a wealthy philanthropist; Barbara Mathers, an attractive young lady with a deep, dark secret; and of course, Micah Probert, the new guy in town who has a past.

Steel Pennies: Yes, there are strangers among us that we don’t recognize, killers and secret evil doers. Steel Pennies will test your prejudices and deductive reasoning skills as you learn who the killer is in this mystery thriller, hopefully before someone else is murdered.

Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters: With a title like this, you know you’re in for visits from strangers and monsters. Snpgrdxz is certainly a stranger with a name like that, but does this teenage alien shape shifter stand for good or evil? Throw in Turpelator in all his out of time manifestations and you have a daemon bent on trouble. Don’t forget all the creatures who go bump in the night in this nonstop action adventure, horror, scifi, fantasy, romance – yeah, you get the idea. And is Jennifer Hawkins the most dangerous evil-doer of them all? Or is she a sweet, innocent teenager? Or both? Find out when you read the Snpgrdxz series.

Offbeat writing
My offbeat writing style combines noir with a twist of humor. Here are the opening lines to get you started:

Fulfillment: A loud roar shook the house.

Hags: From the mattress on the floor of the back bedroom of his antique Victorian fixer-upper, Micah Probert heard a far off scream.

Steel Pennies: I gawked at the eye holes, gasped, and dropped a chunk of somebody’s skull at Bob’s feet.

Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters: From where she stood at the foot of my bed, fifteen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins couldn’t miss, but would this sweet girl shoot me?

Is this place for real?
My stories take place in real neighborhoods, perhaps one near you. The exceptions are Fulfillment which is set in the ancient world and Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters which starts in Wheaton, an ordinary suburb of Chicago but moves quickly to an underworld that can best be described as Dante’s first circle of Hell. From there the time travelers, including a teenage space alien shape shifter, end up back in Wheaton but the time is 1923 and the strangers and monsters abound at every step of the journey. Hags is set in modern day Naperville, Illinois. Steel Pennies takes place in 1960 in West Chester, Pennsylvania, which is a university town located about 30 miles west of Philadelphia.

Characters who talk the way real people talk
Dialogue brings a story to life. Here’s a sample from Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters:

By the time we escaped Lincoln High that afternoon, the sun waited for us, the trees stirred, and the ninety-plus temperature blasted our faces. I offered Jennifer Hawkins a ride home.

“I can’t, Bryan. You have to stop asking me for a date.”

“It wasn’t an invitation for a date. It’s transportation. Gilbert will ride with us. We’re safe.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to ride in cars with boys.” Gilbert’s falsetto pierced my ears as he tossed his backpack on the backseat of my mom’s Malibu.

“Gilbert, you ride with me every day.” I opened the front passenger door for Jennifer.

“Oh, right. What about Jennifer?” Gilbert jumped in the backseat.

“I don’t mind riding in cars with boys, Gilbert. I’m not sure I’m supposed to, and I’m forbidden to date them until I’m older.” Jennifer threw her backpack into the Malibu.

“How much older?” I asked.

“Not until I’m forty.” Give Jennifer credit. She kept a straight face.

I could feel my jaw bounce once on my chest.

Jennifer noticed I wasn’t breathing. “I’m kidding, Bryan. I’m supposed to wait until I’m sixteen.”

“Oh. So that’s why you said no to me?” I fumbled with my keys and dropped them.

“It’s a reason.” Jennifer hopped in the front seat while I put my tongue back in my mouth and pushed my jaw closed. My heart resumed beating. I took in the aroma of sweet flowers that wafted into the Malibu with her.

I located my keys by crawling under the car to coat myself with hot tarmac and gravel. Back in the Chevy, I drove north on Main Street through downtown across the railroad tracks and past the coffee shop and other stores of old Wheaton. Jennifer asked me to turn right at Jefferson. A few blocks later, she said to make another right. She pointed out one of those Victorians from the Middle Ages near the college and asked me to drop her off.

I pulled over to the curb and stopped.

She unlatched the door, but didn’t open it. Instead she gazed into my eyes. “Just because I’m not allowed to date doesn’t mean I don’t like you, Bryan Ganarski.”

She leaned across the seat and planted one full on my lips. I forgot about Gilbert in the backseat while Jennifer and I made out for a few minutes. We pulled back from each other. Jennifer flashed the biggest smile ever aimed at me by a girl, giggled once, and stepped out of my mom’s Chevy.

“I never did that before.” She galloped up to her front porch and disappeared inside her house.

I about peed my pants a minute later when Gilbert said, “Guess you guys are like a couple, now.”

I had forgotten about him. But it soon turned crazier. Not as insane as the midnight visits to my bedroom, but almost. As I pulled up to Gilbert’s house, Daniel Brickmaster said, “Hey, this isn’t where I live.”

I slammed on the brakes and checked the rearview mirror. Brickmaster grinned at me. Gilbert had vanished.

Interested? Click here.

Scary Humor