Scary Humor

Friday, December 21, 2012

One Suspect at a Time


Hey, the best private eyes are great because they eliminate the suspects until the only one left must be guilty. That’s what attracted me to the goth girl. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between her and the victim, but hey, a private eye goth. It works. Just think how simple it is for her to go undercover. Not that anyone but another goth would want to go under the covers with her, but hey, she’s a crack shot of a goth. I found out the hard way when I hired her to track down Effie’s rocks. It’s not like they were Marshall Fields quality, but hey, the Queen of England gave them to her so they had a certain sentimental value, if you catch my drift.

We told the insurance people the diamonds were real. They didn’t believe us until we showed our adjuster the letter from her majesty. But hey, goth girl shot Quick Louie, the dog fighter. She took him out with one shot. Between the eyes.  At forty feet. He didn’t have the jewels, but hey, he wasn’t the guy that stole them anyway. She shot Frimgroin next. Yeah that one. Cubs didn’t need him anyway, but hey, they were going to trade him to the Yankees until the goth girl shot that other rookie, Midgerot.

I’m not worried about the jewels anymore. Not with goth girl on the case. But hey, like I said, “One suspect at a time.”
 
Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Noir Loss


The queen wobbled when Lannigan banged against the walnut bookcase. The detective hit the beige ceramic tile floor first followed by the clear birch chess piece. Her majesty rolled several feet into the darkening pool emanating from Lannigan’s midsection. In a futile, final attempt at survival, Lannigan raised his Glock, lacked the strength to fire or aim, and dropped his arm to the floor. The gun barked once from the impact, disposing of her highness as splinters scattered in a cloud before settling into a rubicund rivulet.

Across the room, the rotund creature exposed two extra-long upper fangs while forming its vile mouth into something resembling a human smile. The thing shrugged its pointed shoulders once before flying through the penthouse window in search of a more compliant midnight snack.  

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Fire at Will


What to do next I could not tell. But I knew I would act and act I did. I fired at Will. Closed my eyes first. Bad idea. Missed. But the long-fanged villain backed up two feet anyway. I fired again. Will laughed. I hit him in mid chest that time. He raised his black cape and swooped in my direction. I fired again. He was so close I couldn’t miss. The lignum vitae bullet this time.

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Precious Children

Today, my heart goes out to my grandson, a precious Kindergarten student.

I think how precious are our children, not just to us within our families, but to our President, our other leaders, our friends and our neighbors.

Through the sadness, I thought of a song by Emmy Lou Harris that reminds us how precious are the children.

How could anyone take them away?

I trust that Emmy Lou Harris won’t mind if I share the first verse of her song with you. It touches the heart of this tragedy on the mothers of those children:

"Those lives were mine to love and cherish
To guard and guide along life’s way
Oh God forbid that one should perish
That one alas should go astray."

Today, we are all “lonesome for those precious children.” Let this song touch your heart. Let it help the tears of mourning flow. May it bring you closer to the precious children in your life. Click here to listen. 

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Building Suspense in a Familiar Story




How do you build suspense in a modern retelling of a 2,000-year-old story? Let's talk.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Inns in Ancient Palestine




Let's talk about the different kinds of inns that existed in ancient Palestine in the first century. And we'll see how the inn used as a setting in Fulfillment compares.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Did Joseph and Mary Live in Poverty?




Today, I talk about my theory that Joseph and Mary did not live in poverty. I base this on Joseph’s career as a “carpenter” which equates more to a modern “general contractor.” Joseph would have been an established professional before marrying Mary through his role in the community.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

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