Wednesday, May 29, 2013
How Do You Kiss a 71-Year-Old Teenager?
To start at the beginning of this story, please click here.
Episode 2 of Jude Nerdworthy, Monster Fighter in Oh, No! My Girlfriend’s a Vampire.
Blood and broken glass decorated the Brombach’s front porch as I flew through Marylou Brombach’s living room window. My left arm bled in two places above the wrist. You may be wondering why I didn’t exit in the usual way through the front door, but trust me, when you’re girlfriend grows four-inch fangs, you take the quickest way out.
While I fully expected Marylou’s mom to be angry at me for making a mess, I didn’t bother to slow down as I raced for my dad’s Malibu. While unlocking the door, I glanced back at Marylou’s front porch. Marylou used her new eighteen-inch tongue to tickle a long shard of bloody glass that she slid between her fangs.
When she saw me checking her out, she waved with the fragment still in her hand. “I’ll stop by later, Jude, to help you clean up that cut on your arm.” She licked her four-inch incisors.
The only ones home when I arrived were Becky Stewart and her 23 clones. Becky was a sweet sixteen year old girl who was kidnapped by space aliens in 1958 and returned to earth two weeks later by the ship’s time. Meanwhile here on earth, decades had passed making her a 71-year-old teenager. She arrived with her clones who each appeared to be 12 years old.
Becky said Mom and Dad were out practicing driving their new car, a used full-sized bus.
Becky saw the blood on my arm right away. “Let me kiss you and make it better.”
“It’s a little bloody for kissing,” I replied.
“Not on the cut, silly, on your lips. Oh, your lip is cut, too.” Without waiting for my reply, Becky locked onto my lips.
I said, “Thanks. I didn’t know kissing a girl who is not your current girlfriend could be so nice.”
“Hmm, in 1958 we didn’t kiss with our tongues until after marriage, but it was nice.”
“Oops,” I said as I hid my tongue behind my teeth.
Never look out your kitchen window when making out with your new step sister, especially if your girlfriend is a vampire.
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Summer Reading Quote
“She missed my mouth, hit my cheek, and mushed her lips across my skin.”
Paul R. Lloyd
Save the Date: June 4, 2013
Join me on June 4, 2013 from 7:30 am to 9:00 am for Caffeinated Connections Networking at Linked Local Schaumburg. I will introduce my new noir thriller Steel Pennies and talk about how to use writing hooks in business writing. Location is Schaumburg Bank & Trust. Learn more and register by clicking here.