Glickenhopper's Mudvarian Primbobber

After he blew up his flying saucer, quite by accident you understand, Snipgridixz waited in Lake Winnebago. When the soldiers finished their cleanup, he ventured onto shore where he rested in the form of a Mudvarian Primbobber. He may have remained asleep all night if Private Elmore Glickenhopper hadn't stepped on him while on patrol. Glickenhopper jerked back. “What was that?” He shone his flashlight on the sleeping form with the boot print on its butt.

Glickenhopper had never seen an animal like a Mudvarian Primbobber. It appeared the right size for a black bear. But what about those three horns on one end of the the brute's body? Were the  horns on its head or its butt? Glickenhopper wasn't certain. He noticed the beast's scaly skin and bloated body. The animal either burped or farted. Glickenhopper couldn't be certain which end was which, but the aroma assaulted the nasal passages only slightly more than the fragrance of a barracks where 40 GIs slept off a beer and beans night at the NCO club.

The Mudvarian Primbobber galloped into the darkness of the Northwoods never to be seen again except for occasional appearances in his many other forms like the Jersey Devil, Rhinelander Hodag, the Lizard Man of Scrape Ore Swamp, and of course, your average American teenager. Snipgridixz could even land in your school. Have you checked on the new kid in your chemistry class? Snipgridixz enjoys masquerading as a boy most times, talkative as ever, and always, well, almost always, one step ahead of the Men in Black.

THE END

7 PREDICTIONS YOU CAN MAKE ABOUT ANY STORY
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First Day on Earth

On the night of November 14, 1946, Snipgridixz bumped into a panel on the saucer's main control panel. The defense shield dropped. Slipgringil screamed “Brizilagramp,” a bad word in his native language. A captured German V-2 rocket flew through the open docking bay door where it exploded against the back wall.

The flying saucer disintegrated but Snipgridixz escaped when the blast blew him out the open bay door. He spread a pair of bat-like wings and flapped until he landed in Lake Winnebago near Paynes Point, a tiny tourist area south of Neenah, Wisconsin. Air-filled float bags replaced his bat wings once he hit the water. As he watched, the rest of the crew, including Slipgringil, landed in a cluster on shore, but in the dark, Snipgridixz didn't spot any movement. He assumed they must be unconscious or worse.

U.S Army soldiers assigned to monitor the V2 test approached the crash site. They divided into two groups upon arrival. The first panicked and scattered into the surrounding forest. Snipgridixz heard their screams mixed with the battle noise of M1 rifle fire from the braver soldiers. Snipgridixz knew his shipmates died in the saucer explosion. Otherwise, they may have laughed at the soldiers. He regretted causing the accident that killed his crewmates, but what could anyone expect from a teenage alien hermaphrodite shapeshifter?

Major Medford Stormblazer, commander of the Army battalion, ordered the alien bodies burned and the scattered debris tossed into the lake. In his memoir written years later, he mentioned how he feared an Army investigation into why he destroyed an actual flying saucer and ordered his men to kill the occupants. No one believed his memoir, of course.

THE END

7 PREDICTIONS YOU CAN MAKE ABOUT ANY STORY
Do you ever wish you could better predict the end of the movie you're watching or the novel you're reading? Do you envy friends who always seem to know what will happen next in a story? Want to learn their secret? Send for your FREE copy of my new guide – 7 PREDICTIONS YOU CAN MAKE ABOUT ANY STORY. It's FREE plus I'll email occasional updates on my new releases, current novels and more (Never more than once a month. Cancel anytime.) Click here to signup now. 

Snipgridixz Lands Here Friday 9/4/2020

Snipgridixz the teenage alien hermaphrodite shapeshifter invades my blog for 8 weeks beginning this Friday 9/4. See the zany alien from my Snpgrdxz novel series in a whole new light.

7 PREDICTIONS YOU CAN MAKE ABOUT ANY STORY
Do you ever wish you could better predict the end of the movie you're watching or the novel you're reading? Do you envy friends who always seem to know what will happen next in a story? Want to learn their secret? Send for your FREE copy of my new guide – 7 PREDICTIONS YOU CAN MAKE ABOUT ANY STORY. It's FREE plus I'll email occasional updates on my new releases, current novels and more (Never more than once a month. Cancel anytime.) Click here to signup now. 

 

Vampires on the Moon

My new book -- Vampires on the Moon -- rampages through monsters, kids, lovers – young, old and some undead. If you enjoy short stories and flash fiction, this is the book you’ve waited for your whole life. Well, not exactly your whole life. More like since your last bathroom break. But hey, you need a book like Vampires on the Moon to keep your brain flushed with nearly 150 pages of horror humor. Stories you’re dying to read like The Vampire’s Wife’s Rant and How I Flunked Vampire will entice more than a smile before exposing your neck to whoever that is tapping at your bedroom window right now. A few, a very few, will make your skin crawl in the usual horrific way so be sure to check out Night Terror and West Chester, Pennsylvania. For Twilight Zone fans, you’ll discover Exit 13. For lovers of ancient mysteries with a touch of scary, read A Case of Murder in Ancient Egypt and Little Miss Forgotten (historical set in the sixties). Sci-Fi fan? You’re in luck with Garbage Scow Willie and the Mother Ship. How about a spirit-filled adventure? Try Wally Bonner’s Spirit-filled Dollar and How It Was Paddy O’Reilly Got To Heaven. Are you ready for a couple of stories that wait until the end to “gotcha?” Try Egbert and McDonalds Glenview on Waukegan Road. Lots more surprises in this collection. Click here to learn more or buy.

Cover Reveal: Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers

Here is the cover for my latest book in the Snpgrdxz series. It's number 4. You can start the series, if you haven't already, by clicking the book 1 image on the right.

This new story will be available as soon as it passes muster with Amazon.

Enjoy

Here's the Scoop
Love birds Jennifer and Bryan travel across time with their friends to battle Bangers (smarter than zombies, dumber than dung) and Klergs (alien monks who prefer teens who taste good over teens with good taste). Their coming of age misadventure  brings them into conflict with the usual terrors like daemons, lycanthropes, nosferatu, trolls, zombies, and of course, Jennifer’s dad, Dr. Hawkins, who doubles as their high school principal. Snpgrdxz (pronounced Snip-grid-ix), the teenage alien hermaphrodite shapeshifter, joins them as the group’s sardonic but secret weapon. Free-wheeling noir humor abounds in this sci-fi, fantasy, romance, thriller – well, you get the idea. It's a page turner for romantics and thrill seekers alike.

Supervillain Daemon Turpelator Returns in Book 4
And he is hell-bent on destroying Bryan while keeping Jennifer for his own pleasure. He already possesses multiple versions of Jennifer captured during her past time travel misadventures so why not sidle up to the original? And with Tony Romano, the high school’s hippie-dippy art teacher, set to retire, who will replace him as the Time Keeper?

More horror comedy combined with teenage romance from the author of Hags and other top sellers. Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Jeff Strand and John P. Logsdon. Also great for horror fans who wish Stephen King had a sense of humor.

Young Adult/Adult Crossover. Find out why sci-fi/fantasy readers enjoy the Snpgrdxz time travel series by clicking on the LOOK INSIDE button to sample the book.

Interview with Paul R. Lloyd
Why should readers check out Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers?
If you like to laugh your way through a horror story, and who doesn’t, then you owe it to yourself to read the Snpgrdxz series. The first three books act as a prequel to book 4 so go ahead and start with the fourth book: Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers. You can always backtrack to the first three episodes.

SAVE THE DATE

Join me at the Burning Bush Art Gallery on Friday March 6, 2020 from 7 pm to 9 pm for a reading from my fiction including top-selling novels, short stories and flash fiction. I’ll also facilitate a discussion of today’s literature and writing scene. Seating is limited so please let me know if you plan to attend by posting a comment below or sending an email to paul dot lloyd dot writer at gmail dot com (distorted for security purposes. You know how to format it.) Located at 224 North Main Street, Wheaton, IL US 60187.

Changeling

Halfway home, my body shape-shifted. I became a rabbit. No a mouse. Crap a dog, now wait, a crap. No, a freaking skinny new tree. A yard ornament. What kind of pill did Harriet Hornknocker slip into my cola? Or did she plant it in my burger? Ahhhh, I’m a Canada goose. Honk. Change. No. Honk. Honk. Honk. Ruff-ruff, that’s better. A dog this time. Now what? Oh, no, I’m Harriet Hornknocker. Oh. Hey, I am Harriet Hornknocker. No. I’m not. Well, I'm sure if I had a mirror, I'd look a heck of a lot like old Harriet. There’s Binglesnoot. He’s got that crush on me, I mean Harriet. Hey, Bingle, shoosh, honk. Crap I’m a Canada goose again. Here he comes. Hi, Bingle. No, I’m okay. What do you mean why do I look like a rooster? You like the comb? And the tail feathers? Wait. I’m changing again. Help me, Bingle. Oh, no, I shrunk. I’m a freaking ant. Actually, I’m a pretty big ant. Check  me out. I’m a giant ant from an old black and white sci-fi movie. Oh wow, I am black and white. Hi, Mom, I'm home.