You Graduate, You Evacuate

When Bob turned 18, his foster parents showed him the front door. Bob explained he liked the entrance, but his foster dad declared he preferred Bob find the other side. So Bob borrowed $100 from his 12-year old foster sister. He visited Wally who lived in the basement of his mother’s house.

Bob and Wally hung out until they found a couple of jobs. They enjoyed life until Wally’s mom said they made too much racket at night. “You both will become more attractive on the south side of my north side door.”

Or did she mean the north side of the south-side door?

Either way, Bob and Wally met Ginger Stevens at the bus stop. Ginger's parents had persuaded her to leave home with a subtle change of the locks. “When you graduate, you evacuate,” Ginger’s dad informed her through the locked front door.

Ginger wasn’t happy about the forced move, but she was glad she ran into Wally and Bob because she could use a friend or two at the moment. Besides she had a job so they moved in together – on the up and up with no sex or nudity permitted. They worked their butts off until Ginger got the bright idea they should flip houses, which explains the sideways homes on Waldorf Ave.

What If Angels Sang the Blues?

What would the new king say? What about the Druid shaman? And the Christian priest? How would they feel about the blues? Or did they sing their own Dark Ages version of the blues, Druids to the earth  mother, Christians to Jesus? Who sang the blues didn't matter until the Druids accused Brigitte the Money Changer of murdering King Flipnot II on his 19th birthday. Christians defended Brigitte and dumped the blame on Axelrod the Red. While angels sang the blues in the Cathedral of St, Catherine the Juggernaut, I began the investigation. That's right, I'm the Sheriff of Nottingham. Murder is my game.

Quarterback Sneak?

Blithbather flew down the field. The masses roared, but with the lights out, who could tell if Blithbather would score or Bloombop would burn him? And if she did, would the ref call foul? The assemblage performed a spiritual wave which isn't as easy as it sounds with the seats taken up by ghosts, but I digress. Blithbather and Bloombop crashed into a billowing pile of dust and goalpost rubble. Dragon fire breath vs. vampire fangs. The crowd howled. The banshee cheerleaders screamed.

Book Selection: Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

Just One Look

After the failed exorcism, Fred accepted Zibsnapper's unwarranted attention. He even raised bar-bet money with a 360 degree spin of this head. Zibsnapper did not approve but what was a demon to do?

Fred soon learned he couldn't pick up girls with super-charged head spins. Even worse, if he stopped halfway around to gain the young lady's attention on the barstool behind him, the conversation ended abruptly. When he advanced to eyeball-to-eyeball contact with a potential mate, he slowly filled his eye sockets with rich red blood. While the younger girls screamed at this, the toughest of barflies asked him to show them his vampire fangs. They misunderstood, of course. Fred explained he never sucked their blood for his own pleasure but for Zibsnapper's.

For revenge, the demon forced Fred to emit green muck over a friendly girl's new white blouse.  And if Zibsnapper picked that moment to elicit an evil cackle out of Fred's mouth, well, that ended the pickup attempt most times.

Fred freed himself from Zibsnapper's possession when he discovered the demon's penchant for invading tall, thin blondes from Minneapolis. Just one look was all it took.

Book Selection: Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters