Scary Humor

My Novels


The modern novel is about two things: action and emotion. Action moves the story along so that you can’t put it down because of the nonstop forward motion. Emotion is about laughter, joy, excitement. It’s about anger, fear and angst. The novel is about the exhilaration of needing to know what will happen next. Above all, a good story is about falling in love with one person in one place, and with one book, one author. For love conquers everything including the monsters who’d love to kill us, eat us, or transform us into something unspeakable.Learn more on the pages of my fiction.

Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

From where she stood at the foot of my bed, fifteen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins couldn’t miss, but would this sweet girl shoot me?

What if one night that teenage girl you have a crush on appears at the foot of your bed, pistol in hand, and threatens to shoot you? But your best friend and a terrorist burst into your bedroom and kill her in the nick of time? But the next night this same girl shows up in your bed again? This time she’s ready for love. When did your dead crush become your girlfriend? Wild dreams? Since when did your nightmares leave actual bullet holes and blood stains behind?

Join the crazy journey of Bryan Ganarski, Jennifer Hawkins, Gilbert Armstrong, and of course, Snpgrdxz, the teenaged space alien shape shifter who can be either a boy or girl depending on his or her mood. Hormones fly, earther and other, in this madcap misadventure. Is Bryan totally insane or is there a part of him that can still fall in love with one of the many versions of his time-traveling girlfriend? And will Bryan work up the gumption to kiss Jennifer in front of the whole sophomore class like she asked him to? She did ask him, didn’t she?

This love-crazed tale of time travel features a group of friends who become stuck between the wrong time on earth and a troll world filled with monsters far worse than those pesky tiny bridge trolls and the really tall, hairy mountain trolls. An evil daemon, werewolves, nosferatu, and a few ghosts are among the many monsters waiting for you in Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. It’s the first novel in Amazon top selling author Paul R. Lloyd’s new sci-fi/fantasy series.

***

Steel Pennies

I gawked at the eye holes, gasped, and dropped a chunk of somebody’s skull at Bob’s feet.

Steel Pennies is racially-charged murder, mayhem and mischief wrapped around a teen romance gone wild. When teenagers Tommy McConnell and Bob Durkin discover the body of a long missing neighborhood girl, a series of killings ensues. As the body count mounts, will Tommy and his friends learn the identity of the killer before his girlfriend becomes the next victim? 

Steel Pennies explores racial tension and forbidden love during the early days of the civil rights movement. It examines the mystery of coming of age in a love story that turns Romeo and Juliet on its head.

Steel Pennies is a thriller written in a noir style laced with biting humor and oddball characters by the Amazon top selling author of Hags and Fulfillment.

“Machine-gun sentences.  Fast.  Intense.  Mickey Spillane-style.  No way around it.  Paul R. Lloyd is a top-notch noir writer.  Top-notch.”
Thomas Phillips author of The Molech Prophecy—describing Steel Pennies by Paul R. Lloyd…

“I predict it will win awards and become assigned reading in high school, with the benefit that it will be a book that students will want to read. I loved this.”
Judge’s written comment on Steel Pennies in The Daphne du Maurier Award for Excellence in Mystery/Suspense Unpublished Division.

***


Hags

From the mattress on the floor of the back bedroom of his antique Victorian fixer-upper, Micah Probert heard a far off scream.

After 15 years in prison, Micah Probert returns to Naperville, Illinois, where he discovers a human-sized faerie flitting about in his backyard, a dead body behind his house, a pesky ghost in his kitchen, and a local coffee shop serving the darkest roast this side of Hades. But the real action begins when Micah discovers that his new girlfriend, who appears to be in her twenties, is actually a hag as wicked as any from medieval times. This woman is aligned with powerful demonic forces bent on taking over Naperville while cheating Micah out of his inheritance. To make matters worse, Micah learns there is a second hag, in competition with the first. And she wants Micah’s fortune to finance her own takeover of a secret coven of hags. Meanwhile two serial killers are on the loose and both may be in cahoots with the evil forces aligned against Micah. As the body count rises, the police arrest Micah. Why does all the violence and evil swirl around him? And can Micah learn the powerful secret to defeating the evil mounted against him in time to save Naperville while also clearing his name?

Thrills a minute with a touch of humor. Keep the lights on.

“It's like stepping into a Peretti novel, where the characters of the book are joined by the unseen characters - angels and demons.” – Becky Davis in her Amazon review of Fulfillment by Paul R. Lloyd.

As another of my Amazon reviewers put it:

“For a story dealing with such dark topics, Hags surprised me with its genuine humor. Once all the pieces are on the table, the story has a very distinctive and clever personality that flows quickly…. you'll find Hags a delightful read that may have something to say about fear, lust, greed, brokenness and most importantly, redemption.”

***

Fulfillment

A loud roar shook the house. 

In the drumbeat of a million raindrops comes a darkness marching to overpower the world where you and I live. We stand by without sensing the evil, never hearing the constant din of battle over our hearts, never feeling the bombardment upon our souls, never glimpsing the awesome power of our defenders. How can we live in this world and yet be so ignorant of the other?

Mary lived in happy ignorance. Then in the roar of the beast and the hideous faces of the angry demons scampering across her bedroom floor, she became the central figure in a drama beyond her understanding. Her engagement to Joseph should have been joyful, but instead the secret concerning the baby in her womb attracted evil spirits, an evil king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother whose family is endangered by a jealous king.

Fulfillment is the first century suspense drama with a huge twist of horror when Satan discovers he isn’t messing with an ordinary teenage girl. This kid has moxie and connections in high places.

If the thought of Satan out to get you isn’t enough to keep you awake at night, how about reading Fulfillment? It will.

Better than caffeine.
As one Amazon critic wrote:
“This may be the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.… Author Paul R. Lloyd has turned his fertile and vivid imagination loose on a story that millions of people hold sacred and find too familiar to grab much attention during its telling. But hold on to your hats! This one is different!”

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