The Cheerleader Solution

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We loaded thee large wooden crates of pipe bombs onto Mrs. Brambach’s pickup truck.

Albert rode on back to keep an eye on the pipe bombs. I was concerned that he might want to drop a few on passing vehicles as we headed for the helmet factory. On the other hand, they might come in handy if we ran into the high school football team.

“Let’s roll,” I said to Mrs. Brambach once I climbed into the front seat.

“Now, one moment, young man,” said Mrs Brambach. “Where exactly is this helmet factory of yours?”

“It’s… well… it must be somewhere close by. A place where they could make helmets. I don’t know? I’ll ask Albert.

When Albert said he didn’t know, I knew what was coming next.

I dreaded the answer, but Mrs. Brambach asked it anyway. “Let’s ask the cheerleaders, maybe they’ll know.”

Back inside the Bringlebaum house, a crowd of teenage boys whooped around hollering to loud music. Mrs. Bringlebaum, obviously delighted that her son had finally made some friends, was serving Rice Krsispie and marshmellow squares. A pitcher of Kool-Aid sat on a coffee table with a stack of paper cups nearby.

The cheerleaders sat around the dining room table discussing something that sounded like quantum physics and teleportation and, well, other stuff that went over my head. Maybe asking the cheerleaders wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The party was loud even around the cheerleader table where high school kids too nerdy or too out of shape for high school football tried to pick up the cheerleaders. Unfortunately, either the boys were too weak or the girls too heavy, although most appeared to be just right, if you ask me.

I started to ask Betsey Olson where the helmet factory was located, but she blew me off with a quick recitation of the quadratic equation. Seeing the problem, especially with all the other guys hitting on the cheerleaders, I asked Marylou to ask Betsey about the helmet factory, but before she could respond, a series of shots rang out which stopped everyone cold.

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You are reading Jude Nerdworthy, Monster Fighter in the Zombot Approximation. It's the product of my  morning writing exercises rather than polished work like my novels and short stories.

By the way, if you're enjoying this series, try Hags for less than $3 by clicking here.

Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl standing alone at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

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What in Dignation?

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Mrs. Brambach floored the pickup. Three cheerleaders fell off the back from the sudden lurch.

“You’re going to get a ticket,” said Marylou.

“I don’t think a ticket is valid when all it says on it is zom… zom… zom…” Mrs. Brambach replied. She screeched the pickup to a full stop so the fallen cheerleaders could climb back aboard. Meanwhile, I passed the first aid kit from the glove box back to the girls so they could repair their scraped knees.

“We have to put a stop to this nonsense,” I said, feeling my own invitation to be in Dignant, Nebreska.

“How do you propose we do that?” Mrs. Brambach started slower this time, but soon roared back down the four lane Rt. 59 heading south towards Naperville. She swerved around a crashed tractor trailer and three empty sedans but didn’t lose any of the precious cargo in back.

I jammed one hand against the ceiling of the truck cab and the other on Marylou Brambach’s right thigh. “The zombots can’t convert you to zombottary unless they have one of Uncle Rantly’s special helmets. We have to find out where they’re producing them.”

“And then what,” Marylou smiled at me.

“We blow it up.” I replied.

Mrs Brambach snuck a peek in my direction with a face that said, “What, are you nuts?” That’s when she said, “What, are you nuts?”

“No, I’m people,” I replied but it went over her head.

“We need Albert Bringlebaum,” said Marylou.

“Of course, Albert Bringlebaum,” I repeated. It must have been the beans we had for lunch.

“Mrs. Brambach, turn left on Butterfield. I’ll show you the way.” I pointed left, but apparently Mrs. Brambach had already figured out what direction left was.

We pulled into the driveway of a brick bungalow in the old part of Warrenville. Warrenville had two parts. The old part consisted of the houses built in the mid-nineteenth century before the railroad decided to go to Wheaton and West Chicago to the north and to Naperville and Aurora to the south, leaving Warrenville with no railroad. Since the towns in our area developed around the railroad lines, no more development occurred in Warrenville until about the nineteen seventies. Thus, the town had an area of old houses and one consisting of a number of now aging “newer” sub-divisions and town houses. Maybe I should have said, "All Warrenville is divided into two parts, the old part of town and the even older part of town, but you got the idea, right?"

The cheerleaders ran into the house without so much as ringing the bell. Albert Bringlebaum came running out of the house.

“What’s going on?” he asked, which goes to show what kind of guy he was. Anyone else would be inside entertaining the cheerleaders. A guy shouldn’t question a gift like that.

“We have to blow up the helmet factory,” I said.

“I’ve got a load of pipe bombs in the garage,” Albert said, again confirming the kind of person he was. To make matters worse, his father was an avid gun collector. Why is it that the gun collector dads are the ones with the destructive teenage sons?

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You are reading Jude Nerdworthy, Monster Fighter in the Zombot Approximation. It's the product of my  morning writing exercises rather than polished work like my novels and short stories.

By the way, if you're enjoying this series, try Hags for less than $3 by clicking here.

Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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F-Wording the Zombots

Do you want to start at the beginning of this series? Click here.

“Forget about it, Mom,” said Marylou Brambach in response to her mother’s inquiry concerning her make out habits with me.

“Why should I forget about it?” Mrs. Brambach asked.

“Because that cop is pulling you over,” Marylou exclaimed without an exclamation mark at the end of her sentence which was sure to upset Mrs. Appleburger, the sophomore English teacher. She didn’t really teach the sophomore English class. She taught the junior class, but she was a sophomore at Northern Illinois University, which is, as they say, another story.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Brambach pulled over for the police officer. The officer stepped out of his patrol car. He wore a black uniform with a large Glock on a black leather belt as his most noticeable accessory, except for the shiny badge on his shirt and the big white helmet on top of his head. About fifty feet behind the police car marched a gaggle of high school football players singing the zom… zom… zom… fight song.

“May I help you, officer?” Mrs. Brambach sounded indignant. You’d be in Dignant too if you lived there, but that’s not the point, is it? Well, it would be the point if you were looking at a large map of the state of Nebraska where you might find a point or dot next to the name Dignant.

The police officer stared admirably, if a bit cold, during the entire paragraph above, obviously waiting for a break in the conversation. When one appeared, he said, “Zom… zom… zom…” He even got all the little dots in the right place as he reached for his gun.

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By the way, if you're enjoying this series, try Hags for less than $3 by clicking here.

Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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The Zombots Strike Back

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The giggle girl cheerleaders weren’t gone more than five minutes when the doorbell rang at Marylou Brambach’s house.

“You answer it,” Marylou ordered.

“I’m not answering the door,” I replied.

“Jude Nerdworthy, you answer that door this instant or there will be no more make out sessions with me,” Marylou said before she remembered her mother was in the room with us.

“Marylou!” Mrs. Brambach said.

“Ding-dong,” said the doorbell right before it flung open and the high school football player zombots marched in.

Their chant was deeper and richer in tone than the rather tinny and shrill cheerleader chant, but the words were the same: “zom… zom… zom…” What the three little dots were for after every  “zom…” I’ll never know, but there they were.

My first impression of the word “zom” as spoken by the high school football team zombots was that it roughly translated into “skedaddle.” Some may argue that it really meant “Seattle,” but those people I knew who made that argument, like George Howbert and Iorg Baring from my English class, were now zombots.

To me and to Marylou Brambach and even to Mrs. Brambach, “zom…” meant “Hit the road, Jack,” whether you included the three little dots or not. And of course, “Hit the road, Jack,” was just another way of saying “skedaddle.”

The three of us escaped out the backdoor, into the garage and into Mrs. Brambach’s pickup truck. It didn’t start at first, but once Mrs. Brambach screwed the oil pan back on and filled the engine with fresh oil using the cheap stuff from the local convenience store rather than the good stuff from the auto supply, we hustled away.

We caught up with the cheerleaders and offered them a ride. At first they declined, thinking we were strangers. But when they saw the high school football team closing in on us, Betsey Olson said something along the lines of “the square root of 14 plus or minus the delta of sigma equals…”

I’m not sure what Betsey had in mind, but the other cheerleaders took it to mean get your sweet little buns on board the pickup and hope it goes faster than a charging tailback.

One of the cheerleaders, Gloria Beeswax, opted to forgo the pickup ride. Instead, she calculated that one cheerleader plus one high school football team added up to a good time was had by all. She charged the team. Well, she tried to charge the team, but they weren’t buying in their hyper mind state. Instead, they absorbed Gloria back into the zombot cause. The last we heard of Gloria Beeswax was “zom… zom… zom…”

Meanwhile, the light at Rt 59 and Batavia turned green and Mrs. Brambach floored it. As we headed south towards the semi-permanent construction at Butterfield, Mrs. Brambach took a quick peek at her daughter. “What do you mean making out with this boy?”

Guys say the stupidest things at moments like this, but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I prayed concerning the soul, spirit, mind and heart of Marylou Brambach, “Please, please don’t use the F word.”

She did.

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

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The Return of the Cheerleaders

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As it turned out, you don’t have to be dead to become a zombot, but it helps. With the cheerleaders passed out on the floor of Marylou Brambach’s parents’ garage, thanks to Mrs. Bambrach’s well-intentioned hammer, I yanked the AI device off Betsey Olson’s head. She blinked a few times before reciting the quadratic formula. It’s a math thing where zero is important. I would explain it to you, but since I wasn’t placed under the AI, I didn’t pick up anything from a computer brain.

The law of unintended consequences kicked in with Uncle Rantley’s AI device. Not that turning into a zombot was intended, but the real unintended consequence was the AI device worked both ways. First it sucked your wet brain data out of your skull. This resulted in the “zom… zom… zom…” chant of the mindless zombot. Next, the AI did some sort of evaluation of the data extracted from the subject’s wetware and “fixed” it by inserting additional data necessary to make the person wiser, smarter, cooler or whatever it felt you needed.

“Felt” is an important word here because you must understand that the AI is just that: Artificial Intelligence. It feels. It has emotions. It is happiest while fixing human brains and saddest when it is a bodiless football helmet abandoned in Marylou Brambach’s parents’ backyard. This of course, explained why there was so much mechanical moaning coming from behind her house.

The cheerleaders, on the other hand, giggled and solved advanced calculus problems in Marylou Olson’s garage. Marylou and I joined Brighton Adams and Mrs. Brambach as we made our way towards the Brambach kitchen. The last thing I heard Betsey Olson say as she led the cheerleaders out of the Brambach’s garage was “Come, girls, let’s build a quantum computer.” This was followed by a boisterous round of giggles.

If only the boys football team was as easy to restore.

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Zombots Run on Batteries and Human Flesh

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Marylou Brambach screamed, as did Brighton Adams. I, Jude Nerdworthy, who never, ever screamed, squawked a rip snorter, as my Uncle Rantly would say. Marylou’s mom, who had just popped out from under the pickup in the Brambach garage with a hammer in her hand, stood up and removed the hardhat from her head.

“Thank God.” Marylou hugged her mother. Brighton tried to hug me, but I pushed him aside.

“What’s wrong?” Mrs. Brambach asked.

“The cheerleader zombots are headed this way,” Marylou said.

“What’s a zombot?” Mrs. Brambach asked.

“No time,” I said. "They used to be cheerleaders, now they’re zombies with an AI attachment."

The door at the back of the garage bashed onto the garage floor to the tune of "zom… zom… zom."

“What’s the meaning of this?” Marylou’s mom asked. She marched up to the cheerleader zombots and planted her hands on her hips while glaring at Betsey Olson, the prettiest zombot in school. Betsey reached up and grabbed Marylou’s mom about the neck. Marylou’s mom, who takes no guff from teenagers, bashed Betsey up the side of the AI helmet with her hammer.

Betsey said one final “zom…” before dropping her head and coming to a full stop shut off.

“The battery is located behind the left ear,” Marylou’s mom announced. She bashed each of the darling cheerleaders on the noggin in the designated spot as they marched into the garage. Before long we had nine cheerleader zombots in shutdown mode in our garage.

“What happens if we remove their helmets?” Brighton asked.

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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How to Turn Off a Turned On Zombot Cheerleader

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Brighton, Marylou and I arrived safely in the backyard of Marylou’s house at about the same time that the zom… zom… zom of the zombot cheerleaders crashed through Marylou’s front door.

“We have to do something,” Marylou said.

“Is there any way to stop them,” Brighton asked.

Their brains are controlled by devious AI devices,” I said. “If we remove their power source, they will meet their end.”

“I know they’re just teenagers, but I would think they would have met their rear ends by now,” said Brighton. “I know I have. Many times.”

“And exactly how do you remove their power source?” Marylou asked.

“The traditional method of stopping a zombie is to blow its head off. That should work with zombots, also, since they AI device depends on tapping into the brain’s neural net to control the human body. Since we don’t have any weapons in hand, we may be able to accomplish the same result by removing the AI power source, which will be either a battery or the sun, or both.”

“Couldn’t they be plugged in?” Once again Brighton Adams proved the irony of his first name.

“Did you happen to notice a long extension cord coming out of their butts?” Marylou slapped Brighton across the face.

At the back of Marylou’s backyard stood the garage. Why, I don’t know. But I led our little group there. “Does your dad have any tools in the garage?”

“No, but mom does.” Marylou scrunched around a pickup truck and stood by a giant auto mechanic’s tool chest. “Will these do?”

“Yes, but we need a plan.” I grabbed a large crescent wrench to feel its heft.

We heard a roller sound from under the pickup and turned in that direction. Marylou’s mom wheeled out. She had some sort of plastic helmet on her head. 

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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The Cheerleaders New Chant

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Zom… zom… zom… The voices of the cheerleaders droned as sweet as always, but dead. Of course they were dead, but their voices were flat. Without life, there can be no song. But the slow rhythm of zom… zom… zom… continued unabated as the cheerleaders chanted to the hum of their computer AI brains.

With the cheerleaders stomping down Marylou’s street and Marylou planted firmly on my lap, Brighton Adams ran through the front door.

“They’re coming!” Brighton invited himself to flop on the couch next to us.

“All of them?” Marylou asked.

“I don’t know.” Brighton grabbed his face. “How many cheerleaders are there?”

The chorus of stamping cheerleader feet approached Marylou’s front door. There was no escape unless we wanted to use the backdoor, but we weren’t the backdoor type. Well, I wasn’t. Marylou and Brighton perambulated briskly in that direction.

“Wait,” I shouted. “Let’s find a way to stop them.”

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Fighting Zombots

Do you want to start at the beginning of this series? Click here.

You have to fight the zombots. Not everyone believes that, but you do. Otherwise, you will be turned into one. And yes, like regular zombies, zombots thrive on eating human flesh. So it’s either convert or be eaten.

Uncle Rantly, the inventor of the zombot, tried to explain it to me. Unfortunately, since he had become the second zombot when the first one he invented attacked him, his English wasn’t as good as it once was. Most of his words came out, “Argh, bup, groop, morp.”

The first time Uncle Rantly spoke this way, I listened until he ate the cat. The cat was minding his own business sitting by Uncle Rantly’s chair like he owned the place. You know how cats are. Anyway, right in the middle of his diatribe, Uncle Rantly reached down and that was the end of Buster.

I know eating the cat sounds horrible and you should never kill a pet in a story, but you have to consider I was in the room not more than three or four feet from Uncle Rantly at the time. He could just as easily have leapt upon me.

One of the things Uncle Rantly taught me at an early age was how to take a hint. In those days, before converting to zombattery, Uncle Rantly had a better sense of humor. He said, “The best way to take hint, young man, is to sneak up behind it and grab it by the ears. Hold on tight and run off with it. There, now you have taken a hint. Once you get it home, you can boil it and eat it at your leisure.”

Rather than grab Uncle Rantly by the ears, I chose to take off without him. I hid out in the home of Marylou Brombach until the coast was clear, but of course the coast wasn’t clear and wasn’t likely to ever clear any time soon with zombots running around Warrenville, Illinois. This was about the time Uncle Rantly converted the local high school football team. And the cheerleaders.

This is also when Marylou Brombach stopped our make out session long enough to inform me she was so glad she hadn’t made the cheerleading squad.

And it was the first and last time we heard the zombot cheerleaders marching down Marylou’s street.

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Snippets

Welcome to the first of a series of snippets or little writings written too fast so they are not ready for prime time publication on Amazon, but you can read them here, especially if I can write shorter sentences than this one. I’ve posted snippets on this blog in the past, but this year I’m planning to post them more frequently.

Jude Nerdworthy, Monster Fighter

 
The Zombot Approximation
Uncle Rantly invented the first zombot. I can attest to this or my name isn't Jude Nerdworthy, which of course, it isn't. But no matter. Uncle Rantly attempted to raise the dead by downloading their brain data onto a computer, but had trouble with his timing. The way he explained it was you had to get the data before the brain fully died. Timing was everything. Unfortunately he meant nanoseconds, not regular ones. The best way to conduct his experiment was to attach the AI directly to the human brain before the victim, I mean, subject passed away.

Uncle Rantly designed an attachment device using one of my old football helmets and lots of computer chips. The good news is it worked. The bad news is the experimental dead person had been a Packers fan, and my helmet showed I was Chicago Bears fan.

Speaking of bad news, the AI, once activated and in receipt of the human brain data, woke up the dead human body, triggering everything through a hard wired connection into the nervous system. Thus was born the first zombot. Uncle Rantly became the second zombot when he turned his back on the first one to answer his cell phone. Needless to say, the insurance guy on the other end didn't make that sale.

The Wheaton-Warrenville South High School football team came next. They were easy to turn into zombots because their helmets were handy. Of course the cheerleaders followed. Then the teachers, which explains why Miss Appleburger drones on about Romeo and Juliet in a flat deadpan for hours at a time.

I didn’t worry about the zombots at first because I figured Uncle Rantly knew what he was doing. Or he did before becoming the world’s second zombot. But this all happened before the zombot cheerleaders attacked.

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Read a Short Story
Snippets sometimes grow up to become 99-cent short stories on Amazon. Enjoy.

Little Miss Forgotten Have you ever spotted a pretty girl who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea? Humor and horror set in the 1960s.

In Egbert, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about him was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that? More horror than humor but good for a smile.

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode in on a hog be able to help her? Keep the lights on for this horror with overtones of spiritual warfare.

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

A Novel Report

This mini-report covers the campaign to promote Fulfillment, my novel of the first Christmas.The  best results were in the giveaway category, where I reached top 50 on Amazon in the US (46) and the UK (44). In Denmark, I was top 10 for three days, attaining a number three ranking on the best day.

For 2013, I plan to launch up to five novels. However, this may be iffy at best. I have one novel almost ready to go. It will launch during the first quarter so you’ll be hearing more about it soon.

For summer, I hope to complete my rewrite of a novel I wrote years ago. It needs major revisions, so it will take time to complete.

In the second half of 2013, I plan to launch a new fiction series with a strong sci-fi/fantasy feel to it. You’ hear more about this exciting launch at mid-year.

If time permits, I will add a book of short stories to the mix. The book will include about a dozen or so tales in the horror/thriller categories.

In addition to occasional updates like this one, I will focus this blog on publishing snippets and providing my take on the world of fiction. Snippets are very short stories suitable for a blog. I’ll begin posting a series of them about Zombots tomorrow. Zombots is sci-fi/fantasy. The series allows me to experiment with this genre and with the use of humor.

In the meantime, you can learn more about my novels by clicking the links on the sidebar. Go to my author page on Amazon to purchase any of my 99-cent short stories. Little Miss Forgotten is by far the best seller among them. Set in the 1960s, it tells about a young man who meets a most unusual girl. Have you ever spotted a pretty young lady who seemed to be by herself at a dance? Any young man would be pleased with an opportunity to kiss her, but what if that proved to be a deadly idea?

In another one of my short stories, you'll learn that the remarkable thing about Egbert was his glass cane, not his enormous girth. But what made him fly off like that?

Angel Thorns tells the tale of a little girl caught up in an evil takeover of an isolated small town. Will that handsome young man who just rode into town on a hog be able to help her?

Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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One Suspect at a Time

Hey, the best private eyes are great because they eliminate the suspects until the only one left must be guilty. That’s what attracted me to the goth girl. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between her and the victim, but hey, a private eye goth. It works. Just think how simple it is for her to go undercover. Not that anyone but another goth would want to go under the covers with her, but hey, she’s a crack shot of a goth. I found out the hard way when I hired her to track down Effie’s rocks. It’s not like they were Marshall Fields quality, but hey, the Queen of England gave them to her so they had a certain sentimental value, if you catch my drift.

We told the insurance people the diamonds were real. They didn’t believe us until we showed our adjuster the letter from her majesty. But hey, goth girl shot Quick Louie, the dog fighter. She took him out with one shot. Between the eyes.  At forty feet. He didn’t have the jewels, but hey, he wasn’t the guy that stole them anyway. She shot Frimgroin next. Yeah that one. Cubs didn’t need him anyway, but hey, they were going to trade him to the Yankees until the goth girl shot that other rookie, Midgerot.

I’m not worried about the jewels anymore. Not with goth girl on the case. But hey, like I said, “One suspect at a time.”
 
Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Noir Loss

The queen wobbled when Lannigan banged against the walnut bookcase. The detective hit the beige ceramic tile floor first followed by the clear birch chess piece. Her majesty rolled several feet into the darkening pool emanating from Lannigan’s midsection. In a futile, final attempt at survival, Lannigan raised his Glock, lacked the strength to fire or aim, and dropped his arm to the floor. The gun barked once from the impact, disposing of her highness as splinters scattered in a cloud before settling into a rubicund rivulet.

Across the room, the rotund creature exposed two extra-long upper fangs while forming its vile mouth into something resembling a human smile. The thing shrugged its pointed shoulders once before flying through the penthouse window in search of a more compliant midnight snack.  

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Fire at Will

What to do next I could not tell. But I knew I would act and act I did. I fired at Will. Closed my eyes first. Bad idea. Missed. But the long-fanged villain backed up two feet anyway. I fired again. Will laughed. I hit him in mid chest that time. He raised his black cape and swooped in my direction. I fired again. He was so close I couldn’t miss. The lignum vitae bullet this time.

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Precious Children

Today, my heart goes out to my grandson, a precious Kindergarten student.

I think how precious are our children, not just to us within our families, but to our President, our other leaders, our friends and our neighbors.

Through the sadness, I thought of a song by Emmy Lou Harris that reminds us how precious are the children.

How could anyone take them away?

I trust that Emmy Lou Harris won’t mind if I share the first verse of her song with you. It touches the heart of this tragedy on the mothers of those children:

"Those lives were mine to love and cherish
To guard and guide along life’s way
Oh God forbid that one should perish
That one alas should go astray."

Today, we are all “lonesome for those precious children.” Let this song touch your heart. Let it help the tears of mourning flow. May it bring you closer to the precious children in your life. Click here to listen. 

Links to my novels

Click here for Fulfillment.

Click here for Hags

Purchase the paperback versions on my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Building Suspense in a Familiar Story

How do you build suspense in a modern retelling of a 2,000-year-old story? Let's talk.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
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Inns in Ancient Palestine

Let's talk about the different kinds of inns that existed in ancient Palestine in the first century. And we'll see how the inn used as a setting in Fulfillment compares.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Did Joseph and Mary Live in Poverty?

Today, I talk about my theory that Joseph and Mary did not live in poverty. I base this on Joseph’s career as a “carpenter” which equates more to a modern “general contractor.” Joseph would have been an established professional before marrying Mary through his role in the community.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Did Mary Know How to Read?

Let's talk about why Mary can read in Fulfillment, my version of the first Christmas.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Superstition in Fulfillment

Today I talk about why I wrote the character of Mary’s mother as a superstitious person in Fulfillment, my version of the Christmas story.

Scary Reads for Christmas
Click here to download a copy of my top 50 Amazon suspense novel Fulfillment for your Kindle.

One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to download a copy of my top 40 Amazon horror novel Hags for your Kindle.

Hags is about an ex-con who is accused of serial murders while battling a human-sized faerie and hags as evil as any from the middle ages. As the body count mounts, will he learn the secret of the hags before he becomes a victim? Set in Naperville, Illinois.

Both ebooks are only $2.99 each.

Paperbacks make the perfect gift. Visit my Amazon author page by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.