Scary Humor

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Christmas Story As Never Told Before


The Christmas story appears in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke in the Bible. As proper and fitting for scripture, the gospel writers deal with the birth of Christ in solemn, reverent terms.

And you may have seen some of the movies or read novels that depict the birth of Christ. They, too, treat the subject with awe and reverence. The only trouble is, when you hold Mary and Joseph in a high state of reverence, you lose sight of who they really were. As a result they often appear as flat characters with little or no more personality than a plaster statue.

Fulfillment will change the way you think about the first Christmas
My novel Fulfillment changes everything. I wrote the story by asking, “What was Satan up to while God was going about the business of sending his son to save the world?”

In my story, Satan sets out to stop the birth of Christ. Since Jesus is too powerful to take on directly, he decides to kill the mother before Jesus is born.

Of course you know how the story ends. Jesus was born in Bethlehem. The suspense, horror and awe in my novel occur on the journey along the way.

If the idea of Satan hungering for your soul doesn’t keep you awake at night, read Fulfillment. It will.

Download Fulfillment free today for your Kindle
Click here to download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle. If you prefer, you may purchase the paperback version on the same Amazon page. The paperback "buy" link is below the book cover image. And you may click on the book cover to read a section of the novel for free before you download your copy. That's always a good idea to see if you like the novel before downloading it.

See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What does an unwed pregnant teenager say to her father?


The Christmas Story As Never Told Before

Like many others, you may be curious about what life was like for Mary, Joseph and the other people mentioned in the Christmas story. What did Mary say to her parents when she became pregnant with Jesus? How did her parents react?

What was it like for Joseph to be told his fiance was pregnant when he thought she was a virgin? How did it make him feel? He was in love with her and then she announced she was to have a baby.

Did anyone believe Mary when she said that God himself was the baby’s father? Or did her friends and family accuse her of blasphemy?

We may never know exactly what Mary said or did when she became pregnant other than what you can read in the Gospel account. But if we keep in mind that she was a real person, not a plaster saint, but flesh and blood, then you can begin to imagine that she wasn’t much different than any modern teenager. Can you imagine Mary after the angel’s visit as it sinks in that she is pregnant and unmarried? What will she say to her mother? How will her dad react? And remember, first century rules apply, including a death sentence for women who commit the sin of fornication.

While we’re on the subject of Mary and the birth of Jesus Christ, what do you suppose Satan was thinking about when he found out God chose Mary to become the mother of Jesus?

Free Fulfillment - for 5 days only beginning today
Click here to download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting today and running through Saturday, December 1st. If you prefer, you may purchase the paperback version on the same Amazon page. The paperback "buy" link is below the book cover image. And you may click on the book cover to read a section of the novel for free before you download your copy. That's always a good idea to see if you like the novel before downloading it.

See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Monday, November 26, 2012

My Holiday Giveaway


My holiday gift to you really is a Christmas present this year. For five days beginning tomorrow, November 27th, 2012, you may download a free copy of the Kindle version of Fulfillment, my novel of the first Christmas.

Fulfillment will change the way you think about the first Christmas. One of my Amazon reviewers called it “… the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.” So far, it’s received one five-star and two four-star reviews. (For my Christmas present, I’m hoping Santa… and you… enjoy Fulfillment enough to give it a five-star review on Amazon.)

I wrote Fulfillment by first asking: What was Satan up to while God was going about the business of sending his son to save the world?

In my story, Satan sets out to stop the birth of Christ. Since Jesus is too powerful to take on directly, Satan decides to kill the mother before Jesus is born. Of course you know how the story ends. Jesus was born in Bethlehem. The suspense, horror and awe in my novel occur on the journey. If the idea of Satan hungering for your soul doesn’t keep you awake at night, read Fulfillment. It will.

Free Fulfillment - for 5 days only beginning tomorrow
Click here to download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting tomorrow, November 27th and running through Saturday, December 1st. You may purchase the paperback version on the same Amazon page. The paperback "buy" link is below the book cover image. And you may click on the book cover to read a section of the novel for free before you download your copy. That's always a good idea to see if you like the novel before downloading it.

And if you can't wait that long, it's only a couple of bucks on my Amazon Author Page. See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Crone


New to this series? Read from the beginning of the story by clicking here.

***
“I have been waiting for you two,” cackled the crone in Greek, but with an accent hinting of ancient days. “You are one of the king’s guards. I know the king. I have told his fortune many times. But you are not here for me to read your fortune. And your friend is troublemaker for Rome. And clinging to you both, I see old fiends. You best leave now or your fortunes are at an end.”

“You tried to make a fool of our great king.” Bezalel drew his sword.

“He cheated me out of my fair payment. A few miserly coins for his fortune. Did I ask so much that he should cheat me?” The woman shooed several shadows out of her way.

“Don’t try any of your spell casting with us, woman.” Hillalel held his cloak out in front of him as if it could offer protection from a fiendish curse.

“You lied to your king,” said the military man.

“No. I told your king the truth. One arises to rule in his place. Mighty Rome shakes. Listen! He comes and Herod will be no more. ‘Kill the child,’ I told Herod. For this he throws me out. I sought refuge in the wilderness. ‘Give this child life?’ I asked the ruler of darkness. ‘No! Die! She must die’ he answered. To this place I come to find the one the holy one blesses.”

“Find who, you old witch? You’re not making sense.” Bezalel stepped closer to the hag.

“She who will be chosen to carry the king. She it is who must die.”

“Stop your nonsense.” shouted the traveler. “You cheated the king. His fortune is good, not evil like you.”

“For this, you die, woman.” Bezalel raised his sword.

“Kill me and one of you dies now. The other seeks death later, yet death refuses him.”

***
This completes To Dwell Among Us.Thanks for taking time to read it.

Free Fulfillment - save the date
Download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting this Tuesday, November 27th.

And if you can't wait that long, it's only a couple of bucks on my Amazon Author Page. See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Travelers in the North Country


New to this series? Read from the beginning of the story by clicking here.

***
When the short, plump innkeeper opened the door, a thin man of medium height pushed his way in. The innkeeper attempted to close the door behind the rover, but a rush of raw spirit forced him back. An aroma of burned sulfur filled his nostrils. The hair on the back of his neck rose.

The innkeeper sought his voice. His mouth and jaw moved up and down, but nothing came out. He swallowed hard and found a weak, faded and stammering voice. “Do you wish food, wine, and a place to sleep? For these you must have coins.” He spoke in Greek tainted with bits of the Aramaic common to the townsfolk.

The gray cat at the innkeeper’s feet noticed the black demons drenched in brimstone. It stood with its hackles up and screeched. The innkeeper kicked the cat, and finding his normal voice, said to it, “Here, you, what’s this?”

The traveler reached into his cloak and pulled coins from a purse revealing a long knife tucked into his belt as he did so. He dropped a few coins in the innkeeper’s hands.

“These will do. Welcome, stranger, and eat. Follow me. Here is a place for you at table. Don’t mind the cat.”

The man checked the spot where the innkeeper indicated. Other travelers filled the table. A blind man wore rags so must have had a good day’s begging to afford a night of comfort. Another had but one leg and a stick nearby to lean upon. A third leaned his head on his hand and slept while two flies buzzed between his cup and a half empty plate. The traveler ignored the others at the table and strode off towards a man staring out the latticework window. That man wore a coarse cloth and leather outfit with a short skirt. His hand rested on the hilt of a sword.

“As you wish, sir,” called the innkeeper to the traveler. Nodding towards the man by the window, the innkeeper said, “He is of the king’s guard over there. A quiet man. You two are well met.”

The innkeeper shook his head as he turned towards the kitchen. He lifted one of the coins to his mouth and bit into it.

Across the room, the traveler addressed the military man in Latin-stained Aramaic. “She is here.”

The spirits gathered about the two men, some hanging from the ceiling, some crawling like roaches on the floor. The cat backed away from the specters towards the warmth of the kitchen.

The military man sniffed the air and winced at the pungent odor that followed the traveler. “She has been busy in the marketplace. We should act tonight,” he replied.

“You have your sword.”

“Herod said to wait for you. When he says ‘wait,’ I wait. When he says ‘act,’ I act. Let us act before the storm worsens.”

“Let’s eat. The road was long today. Uphill. Why this infernal town of all places?”

“She is here, Hillalel.”

“You are a simple man, Bezalel. I on the other hand am a hungry one. A bit of wine, some cheese, bread and a warm hearth. She’ll still be around in the morning.”

The dark fiends leapt upon the two men, with half digging their claws into their brains, while the others sank tentacles into their hearts, each encouraging the men on their journey.

“I feel twitchy. Shouldn’t we be about our business?” Bezalel scratched at his back.

“This place has an air about it. I don’t like it here. I feel... well, you are right, Bezalel. Let’s go.” Turning to leave, Hillalel shouted, “Innkeeper.”

The innkeeper came running. He could not see the black demons infesting the men, but he shook in their presence and stuttered. “Yes, sir, your food is prepared. The girl brings a hot stew, see?”

“Hold the food and wine” Hillalel waved off the innkeeper.

The two men trudged out, dragging with them an invisible army of evil clutching with their claws and tentacles.

“She is down this way,” said Bezalel.

“Yes, I know.”
***
To Dwell Among Us continues tomorrow.

Free Fulfillment - save the date
Download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting on Tuesday, November 27th. That's the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.

And if you can't wait that long, it's only a couple of bucks on my Amazon Author Page. See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Big Ears


New to this series? Read from the beginning of the story by clicking here.

***
On the way home from Sarah’s house, Mary stopped in the road and tugged Mother’s arm. “Papa’s coming.”

“Why is his face set so hard?” Mother folded her arms across her bosom and waited.

Mary gulped. I should not have let Joseph kiss me, but we are engaged. It is permitted. Why is Papa angry? When he came closer, Mary realized Papa was sad, not angry.

“What is wrong?” Mother asked.

Papa sighed. He stared at Mary before turning his watery eyes away.

Mary grabbed hold of Papa’s arm. “What is it?”

Papa turned back to her. “Big Ears.”

“Is he sick?”

“No, child, he is not sick. He’s been killed. I’m sorry.”

Mary buried her head in his garments.

“What happened to him?” Mother asked.

Papa hugged his daughter. “I found him this morning in the field behind our house. He had been attacked by something.”

“What something?” Mother asked. “You mean a wild animal?”

Papa shook his head. “A powerful animal tore him apart. It’s up in those hills. I must tell the elders.”

“What could it be?” Mary pulled back from Papa.

“I don’t know,” Papa said.
***
To Dwell Among Us continues tomorrow.

Free Fulfillment - save the date
Download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting on Tuesday, November 27th. That's the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.

And if you can't wait that long, it's only a couple of bucks on my Amazon Author Page. See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Conspiracy of Mothers

New to this series? Read from the beginning of the story by clicking here.

***
Mary stared at the marriage bed. She turned to face Joseph. On the wall behind Joseph, Mary spotted wood supports for shelving.

“Hello, Joseph.” Mary folded her hands.

“Hi! What are you doing here?”

“Mother and I are visiting Sarah.”

“Oh.” Joseph dropped his carpenter’s plane.

“What does Sarah plan to do with shelves in her marriage room?”

Joseph bent down to pick up his plane. “I have no idea.”

Mary waved an arm in the direction of the shelves. “Was this a conspiracy to bring us together?”

Joseph rose to full height. “Perhaps.”

“Are you glad to see me?”

Joseph smiled. “Yes.”

“Good, because I’m happy to see you, too.” Mary ambled to Joseph and put her arms around his neck. “Soon we shall have our own marriage bed.”

“Yes.” Joseph kissed her lips gently. He then placed his hands on her shoulders and stepped back. “I can hardly wait, yet we will wait, won’t we?”

“Of course, darling.”

“It is a long time for the wedding celebration.”

“That’s because I am so young. If I were even a year older, Papa would permit us to marry right away.”

“Yes, you are my young love.”

“When my next birthday comes, you can speak to Papa about setting the date.”

“Your papa is a good man. He wants the best for you.”

“And you are the best for me, my Joseph, you wonderful carpenter, you.” Mary took Joseph’s hand and swung his arm leading him across the room towards the marriage bed. She sat on the blanketed bed and pulled him down to sit by her side. “Sarah told me to find a place to sit in this room. Here is a good spot. Here we can talk if you like.”

“I have my work, Mary.”

“Then work if you like, and I will watch, but first you have to kiss me.”

Joseph leaned over and kissed Mary. She put her arms around his neck. Joseph took Mary’s wrists into his huge carpenter’s hands and lowered them to her lap. He stood, smiled at her and returned to work. Mary looked on until her mother came for her.

***
To Dwell Among Us continues tomorrow.

Free Fulfillment - save the date
Download a free copy of my Christmas novel, Fulfillment, for your Kindle starting on Tuesday, November 27th. That's the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.

And if you can't wait that long, it's only a couple of bucks on my Amazon Author Page. See all of my Amazon books by clicking here.

Need a Kindle? Download the free version of the Kindle reader for your computer, tablet or smart phone from Amazon by clicking here.

Here’s another novel idea…
Enjoy this blog post? Please share it with your friends by clicking the social media buttons below.

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