What If Angels Sang the Blues?

What would the new king say? What about the Druid shaman? And the Christian priest? How would they feel about the blues? Or did they sing their own Dark Ages version of the blues, Druids to the earth  mother, Christians to Jesus? Who sang the blues didn't matter until the Druids accused Brigitte the Money Changer of murdering King Flipnot II on his 19th birthday. Christians defended Brigitte and dumped the blame on Axelrod the Red. While angels sang the blues in the Cathedral of St, Catherine the Juggernaut, I began the investigation. That's right, I'm the Sheriff of Nottingham. Murder is my game.

Quarterback Sneak?

Blithbather flew down the field. The masses roared, but with the lights out, who could tell if Blithbather would score or Bloombop would burn him? And if she did, would the ref call foul? The assemblage performed a spiritual wave which isn't as easy as it sounds with the seats taken up by ghosts, but I digress. Blithbather and Bloombop crashed into a billowing pile of dust and goalpost rubble. Dragon fire breath vs. vampire fangs. The crowd howled. The banshee cheerleaders screamed.

Book Selection: Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

Just One Look

After the failed exorcism, Fred accepted Zibsnapper's unwarranted attention. He even raised bar-bet money with a 360 degree spin of this head. Zibsnapper did not approve but what was a demon to do?

Fred soon learned he couldn't pick up girls with super-charged head spins. Even worse, if he stopped halfway around to gain the young lady's attention on the barstool behind him, the conversation ended abruptly. When he advanced to eyeball-to-eyeball contact with a potential mate, he slowly filled his eye sockets with rich red blood. While the younger girls screamed at this, the toughest of barflies asked him to show them his vampire fangs. They misunderstood, of course. Fred explained he never sucked their blood for his own pleasure but for Zibsnapper's.

For revenge, the demon forced Fred to emit green muck over a friendly girl's new white blouse.  And if Zibsnapper picked that moment to elicit an evil cackle out of Fred's mouth, well, that ended the pickup attempt most times.

Fred freed himself from Zibsnapper's possession when he discovered the demon's penchant for invading tall, thin blondes from Minneapolis. Just one look was all it took.

Book Selection: Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

Pure Mess Again

No more water under the bridge. Instead, boats and barges traverse the city by circling around the old canal, and a river no longer runs through it. Trucks meander the asphalt ribbon.

Imagine a highway built upon a river bottom. Envisage how many layers we paved before the route held. With every stratum but the last, the street sank beneath the mud, No matter concrete or bitumen. Finally, after we had buried a 20-foot-thick slab of roadbed sheets, it worked this time.

What do you mean the weather report calls for rain?

Alternate ending: What do you mean there might be a body buried down there?

Book Selection: Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

Shark Tank coming 9/19/2018

Want to attend a live "shark tank?" (Sorry, not the TV show, but one sponsored by the University of Illinois suburban Chicago alumni club. I'll be pitching for Iron Layer Security (Very slow fast ball, sloppy curve and hope the slider slides). Should be more than a $Billion in investment represented by the judges. Fun to watch, especially my pitch. Tickets at https://suburban.illiniclub.org/article.html?aid=291

While we're on the subject of fiction, have you read Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters yet? Fun, romance and monsters. Who could ask for more? Oh yes, fast-paced, quick read, can't put it down thriller. Think Scary Humor here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NA7L0M2

How Do Writers Use Joseph Campbell's Monomyth to Write a Novel?

I will teach a Sunday School class this coming Sunday, August 19th, at the Congregational Church of Batavia. Service begins at 9:30. Sunday School at 11 am. Click here for more info on the church.

Join me as I review how writers use the monomyth or hero's journey to assist in writing a novel. I'll cover how this detailed plot device aides in outlining, writing and editing a story.

According to an entry on Wikipedia, "...the monomyth, or the hero's journey, is the common template of a broad category of tales that involve a hero who goes on an adventure, and in a decisive crisis wins a victory, and then comes home changed or transformed."

Examples of monomyth include Star Wars Episode 4 and The Lord of the Rings.

Speaking of monomyths, pick up a copy of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.

A Christmas Carol For America Stave 4

STAVE 4: THE LAST OF THE SPIRITS

The Phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approached. When it came near him, Trump stretched again to his full height with all the dignity he could muster for his favorite Il Duce pose despite in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery.

The Spirit was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been difficult to detach its figure from the night, and separate it from the darkness by which it was surrounded.

Trump felt that it was tall and stately when it came beside him, and that its mysterious presence filled him with a solemn dread. He knew no more, for the Spirit neither spoke nor moved.

“I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?” asked Trump.

The Spirit answered not, but pointed onward with its hand.

“You are about to show me shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us,” Trump pursued. “Is that so, Spirit?”

The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. That was the only answer he received.

Well used to ghostly company by this time, Trump pulled a driver from a nearby golf bag. The Spirit paused a moment, as observing his condition, shook his head in despair of saving this man.

But Trump was all the worse for this. It thrilled him with a vague glib joy, to know that behind the dusky shroud, there were ghostly eyes intently fixed upon him, while he, swung his golf club in a practice swing.

“Ghost of Christmas Future!” he exclaimed, “I know you claim your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be proven right, I am prepared to bear you company, and do it with a friendlly heart. Will you not speak to me?”

It gave him no reply. The hand was pointed straight before them.

“Lead on!” said Trump. “Lead on! The night is waning fast, and it is precious time to me, I know. Lead on, Spirit!”

That night Trump viewed more scenes of the future than is possible to record here. As he stood triumphant, Trump witnessed nuclear explosions destroying cities on the west coast of the USA and along the other side of the Pacific. He witnessed starvation on the streets of New York and in the states of Alabama, Oklahoma and Kansas. He visited children suffering horrible diseases without the help of doctors or hospitals, but with too few volunteer nurses and neighborhood “do-gooders” to pity them. He witnessed black oil coating the fields of the Midwest and deep black scars across the land formerly set aside as sacred to the memory of a pristine America.

“Fake News,” grumbled Trump as he teed up a golf ball.

Trump was better than his word. And it was always said of him, that he knew how to call anything, “Fake News” as he relentlessly abused the Spirit of Christmas, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that never be said of us, any of us. Instead, as Tiny Tim, a character otherwise left out of this story due to its horror story rating, observed, God bless Us, Every One! And God bless the United States of America.

THE END

Satan had no idea who he was messing with.
Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who enjoy an original horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King or Frank Peretti visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.