Enter the Secret World of the Strangers and Monsters Among Us

Delve into the secret world of the monsters and strangers among us. Here are examples from my novels:

Fulfillment: Satan and his minions; Nathan, an evil-possessed killer posing as a would-be lover; and Bezalel, a Captain of the King’s Guard who would kill anyone on the king’s orders, including innocent babies.

Hags: Denise Appleby, a hag as old as the middle ages and as young and pretty as a girl of twenty; Lionel Langdon, a merciless serial killer and rapist; Ahlman Brown, a demon posing as a wealthy philanthropist; Barbara Mathers, an attractive  young lady with a deep, dark secret; and of course, Micah Probert, the new guy in town who has a past.

Steel Pennies: Yes, there are strangers among us that we don’t recognize, killers and secret evil doers. Steel Pennies will test your prejudices and deductive reasoning skills as you learn who the killer is in this mystery thriller, hopefully before someone else is murdered.

Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters: With a title like this, you know you’re in for visits from strangers and monsters. Snpgrdxz is certainly a stranger with a name like that, but does this teenage alien shape shifter stand for good or evil? Throw in Turpelator in all his out of time manifestations and you have a daemon bent on trouble. Don’t forget all the creatures who go bump in the night in this nonstop action adventure, horror, scifi, fantasy, romance – yeah, you get the idea. And is Jennifer Hawkins the most dangerous evil-doer of them all? Or is she a sweet, innocent teenager? Or both? Find out when you read the Snpgrdxz series.

Offbeat writing
My offbeat writing style combines noir with a twist of humor. Here are the opening lines to get you started:

Fulfillment: A loud roar shook the house. 

Hags: From the mattress on the floor of the back bedroom of his antique Victorian fixer-upper, Micah Probert heard a far off scream.

Steel Pennies: I gawked at the eye holes, gasped, and dropped a chunk of somebody’s skull at Bob’s feet.

Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters: From where she stood at the foot of my bed, fifteen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins couldn’t miss, but would this sweet girl shoot me?

Is this place for real?
My stories take place in real neighborhoods, perhaps one near you. The exceptions are Fulfillment which is set in the ancient world and Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters which starts in Wheaton, an ordinary suburb of Chicago but moves quickly to an underworld that can best be described as Dante’s first circle of Hell. From there the time travelers, including a teenage space alien shape shifter, end up back in Wheaton but the time is 1923 and the strangers and monsters abound at every step of the journey. Hags is set in modern day Naperville, Illinois. Steel Pennies takes place in 1960 in West Chester, Pennsylvania, which is a university town located about 30 miles west of Philadelphia.

Characters who talk the way real people talk
Dialogue brings a story to life. Here’s a sample from Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters:

By the time we escaped Lincoln High that afternoon, the sun waited for us, the trees stirred, and the ninety-plus temperature blasted our faces. I offered Jennifer Hawkins a ride home.

“I can’t, Bryan. You have to stop asking me for a date.”

“It wasn’t an invitation for a date. It’s transportation. Gilbert will ride with us. We’re safe.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to ride in cars with boys.” Gilbert’s falsetto pierced my ears as he tossed his backpack on the backseat of my mom’s Malibu.

“Gilbert, you ride with me every day.” I opened the front passenger door for Jennifer.

“Oh, right. What about Jennifer?” Gilbert jumped in the backseat.

“I don’t mind riding in cars with boys, Gilbert. I’m not sure I’m supposed to, and I’m forbidden to date them until I’m older.” Jennifer threw her backpack into the Malibu.

“How much older?” I asked.

“Not until I’m forty.” Give Jennifer credit. She kept a straight face.

I could feel my jaw bounce once on my chest.

Jennifer noticed I wasn’t breathing. “I’m kidding, Bryan. I’m supposed to wait until I’m sixteen.”

“Oh. So that’s why you said no to me?” I fumbled with my keys and dropped them.

“It’s a reason.” Jennifer hopped in the front seat while I put my tongue back in my mouth and pushed my jaw closed. My heart resumed beating. I took in the aroma of sweet flowers that wafted into the Malibu with her.

I located my keys by crawling under the car to coat myself with hot tarmac and gravel. Back in the Chevy, I drove north on Main Street through downtown across the railroad tracks and past the coffee shop and other stores of old Wheaton. Jennifer asked me to turn right at Jefferson. A few blocks later, she said to make another right. She pointed out one of those Victorians from the Middle Ages near the college and asked me to drop her off.

I pulled over to the curb and stopped.

She unlatched the door, but didn’t open it. Instead she gazed into my eyes. “Just because I’m not allowed to date doesn’t mean I don’t like you, Bryan Ganarski.”

She leaned across the seat and planted one full on my lips. I forgot about Gilbert in the backseat while Jennifer and I made out for a few minutes. We pulled back from each other. Jennifer flashed the biggest smile ever aimed at me by a girl, giggled once, and stepped out of my mom’s Chevy.

“I never did that before.” She galloped up to her front porch and disappeared inside her house.

I about peed my pants a minute later when Gilbert said, “Guess you guys are like a couple, now.”

I had forgotten about him. But it soon turned crazier. Not as insane as the midnight visits to my bedroom, but almost. As I pulled up to Gilbert’s house, Daniel Brickmaster said, “Hey, this isn’t where I live.”

I slammed on the brakes and checked the rearview mirror. Brickmaster grinned at me. Gilbert had vanished.

Interested? Click here.

What was Satan up to while God was about the business of saving the world?

What does Satan, as the most powerful demon in the universe, do to stop Jesus from saving the world when Jesus is too powerful to take on directly? As I contemplated that question, I pictured two answers that derive from the obvious fact that Satan failed.

My first vision showed scene after scene of a bungling demon trying to kill the child Jesus but something always comes up to destroy his best laid plans. Fans of Pinky and the Brain will know what I’m talking about here.

The second vision, the one that led me to write Fulfillment, was simple: Kill the mother.

Frank Peretti meets Stephen King in this tale of first century intrigue, mystery and evil beyond all imagining. Well, most imagining anyway. After all I did imagine it, didn’t I? And you will, too, when you read about how Mary lived in happy ignorance until that fateful day when she became the central figure in a drama beyond her wildest imaginings.

Angels we have heard on high
An angel announcement and a broken engagement catch an unwed pregnant teenager in a web of peril in an age when stoning was the punishment for fornication. Mary's situation attracts evil spirits, a king who would destroy any threat to his throne, the king’s unquestioning soldiers, and a would-be lover all bent on destroying Mary. Let’s also throw in a soldier who does ask questions, but asks them too late.

Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother whose husband and children face their own death sentence in a bloody massacre.

Moxie and connections
Fulfillment is the first century suspense drama with a huge twist of horror when Satan discovers he isn’t messing with an ordinary teenage girl. This kid has moxie and connections in high places.

If the thought of Satan out to get you isn’t enough to keep you awake at night, how about reading Fulfillment? It will. Click here to purchase the paperback or Kindle versions on Amazon.

Amazing New-Fangled Games

Amazing new type of game: Uses all text with no pictures.

No pix? No way!

Yes, way.

What’s amazing is the action pops up inside your head. No screen needed. And not only do you see the pictures but the whole thing comes alive like a 3D movie with surround sound.

But wait, there’s more.

These games don’t require an artist to draw the graphics so the game makers save a bundle on production and pass the savings on to you. Prices start as low as $.99. That’s 99 cents, less than a buck and you get the whole game, not just a teaser version. Check it out on Amazon. 

Why Do We Even Celebrate Christmas?

Ever wonder why Christmas is so important to Christians when the real story of Christianity is the miracle of Easter morning when Jesus rose from the dead? In the world of horror stories where at least some of my novels hang out, rising from the dead is no big deal. Vampires do it every day. But in the real world, we only know of one person who pulled it off successfully.

Christmas is about the birth of the child who would grow up to become Messiah. Yes, the Easter story works better if the man rising from the dead was born in the first place, but his birth is a minor point hardly worth noting. One of the four Gospels doesn’t even mention the birth of Jesus. Another makes brief reference to it using the symbolism of poetry where we read, “The word was made flesh and lived among us.” (Say what?) While short on details, the author gets his theological point across to knowledgeable readers.

For the rest of us, Christians and nonbelievers both, it’s enough to hear about the angel visit, the virgin birth, the shepherds and the wise men.  Meanwhile pass the gravy, and are you sure we opened all the presents? Oh, and what time did you say the game starts?

What we never hear about, until recently when I published Fulfillment, is how Satan tried to stop the birth of Christ in the first place. The genesis of Fulfillment (hee, hee, hee) happened the day it occurred to me that Satan knew Christ would be way too powerful to kill. Christ is the son of God so you have to figure he’s more of a Superman type than Batman, for example. (Surely you’ve noticed the similarities between Superman’s origin story and the biblical account of Jesus’s birth? And do you really want to start comparing Batman and Satan? Don’t go there because it gets scary. There’s a reason he’s called “The Dark Knight.”)

Instead, read Fulfillment, which one critic described as “the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to purchase the paperback and Kindle versions. What a cool present to give to your Christian friends.

What did Mary’s Mom and Dad say when she announced she was pregnant?

And followed that up by insisting that God was the child’s father?

What? Wait? God did it? Give me break. God’s a spirit. Spirits don’t have sex even when you consider both meanings of the word. (1. Doing it. 2. Having the tools to do it with.)

With Christmas around the corner, it's time to consider how the parents reacted when Mary made her big announcement.

Dad may have said, “Well, you know, Mary, that wasn’t a very good decision on your part. And who is this kid named God? I mean his very name is blasphemous. And when did you find time to do it with all your studies this semester? This is what comes from wearing such provocative short skirts. Why I can see your toes, for crying out loud.”

Not!

We don’t really  know what was said in that conversation, but you may rest assured old daddy was more than furious. We’re talking about the first century of the Common Era (C.E.) here. Good old A.D. as in anno domini. The rule with pregnant teenage girls in those days was you sent them out to the public square where everyone in town gathered around with their favorite rock in hand. They played catch with the pregnant teenage girl. And yes, everyone threw fastballs or rather fast rocks. The life expectancy of your average unwed pregnant teenager was three months for discovery followed by the local religious leader’s cry of “Play Ball!”

In Mary’s case, as a citizen of Nazareth, she could expect a crowd of about 10,000. The city was built on the side of a mountain at the edge of a cliff, so guess where Mary would have gotten to stand. A rock up the side of the head right before a sky dive sans parachute is not the best start to the rest of your life as a pregnant teenager.

Well, it didn’t look good for Mary if you were her dad or mom. Or one of the 10,000 volunteer rock throwers.

What was the scene like the morning Mary showed up for breakfast carrying her barf bucket for just-in-case?

Fortunately, you don’t have to wonder. I’ve already speculated for you in my novel of the first Christmas. Dad was more interested in throwing things than talking to Mary. Mom was more interested in calming dad down than in Mary’s little issue with tossing cookies in the morning.

And what about Satan? You may be curious about where he comes into the story. He does. Trust me on this one because despite what anyone may try to tell you, the great God of the universe really was the father of Mary’s baby. And you just know Satan would do anything to wreck God’s best laid plans. And he’d start by playing “Let’s kill the mother.”

Fulfillment is available in paperback and Kindle versions on Amazon. Click here.

How to Take Your Dialogue to the Next Level

Yesterday, I wrote about how to enhance the dialogue you write by thinking more about how people often only half listen in a conversation. I suggested asking leading questions to force the other person to more fully participate in the conversation. Last night at my writer’s group, I gave an exercise in three parts. In part one, we wrote a monologue. In part two we revised the monologue as a dialogue with two speakers. The third part of the exercise was to revise the dialogue to indicate that the second person was only half listening. The first speaker was permitted to ask leading questions. The prompt for the exercise was: I won’t see you until…

It was a timed exercise so I skipped the quote marks and tags. Here is my result for part three.

I won’t see you until Danny comes back from that Jupiter trip –

Wait. Danny went to Jupitor?

Yeah.

What’s he doing on Jupitor?

I don’t know. Something about picking up crops or plants or trees or whatever they grow up there these days.

Oh, that reminds me. Mom picked up the coolest oak cabinets for the kitchen at ISOGS.

No, no, you’re missing the point.

What? You said trees. Naturally I assumed you meant oak. They’re the only ones that grow in outer space.

Wait. I wanted to tell you I love you.

You what? This isn’t about my mother’s kitchen, is it?

You’re spoiling the moment, darling. Don’t you feel what I feel?

Did you say you wanted to tell me something about loving me? No, that couldn’t be right? What were you saying?

I wanted to tell you I love you because, frankly, that’s the way they do it in vampire  movies, and well, I have a little confession to make.

Vampire movies? Oh, that reminds me. Did you see Dawn of Dead Blood Suckers yet?

You watch vampire movies?

Yeah, you knew that, right?

Noooo. Since when?

Last Saturday. George Nipster took me.

Wait, you went out with George?

Yeah.

I thought we were dating?

We are? Oh, I thought we were just friends.

Well, I am a vampire. We don’t do friends. Well, we do friends, but we don't have any.

I thought you were a werewolf. Danny said to watch out because you’re a real wolf.

Yes, I know you think I’m a werewolf, and I am. But then Gilrod bit me the other week, and now I have to leave for Space Station Alpha. I think I’ll always be under a full moon up there –

Hold on. You’re going to the moon?

No, Space Station Alpha.

When did you become a space junkie?

When I became a werewolf I got that free scholarship to NIU where all the animals go.

So are you a vampire or a werewolf?

So yeah, exacty. I’ll be a blood sucking werewolf in space. Or I’ll bite all their heads off and then suck their blood, but either way it won’t be pretty when Danny returns from Jupitor with that cargo ship load of wolfsbane and oak stakes.

Aren’t you allergic to that stuff?

Sure, but I can avoid the wolfsbane. All I have to do is not drink any poisoned Tang. But the oak stakes? One or two I can catch but a cargo ship loaded with them?

***

Did you download your $0.99 copy of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters yet? Today on Amazon for your Kindle. Click here and be sure to pass the link on to your friends.

Why Do Characters Ask Questions?

On the surface, you may be wondering why I would even ask a question about questions. Characters ask questions because they need an answer from another character in the story. Pretty simple, right?

Not.

Consider when a sales person or teacher asks you a question. By sales person I’m not thinking of those pesky telemarketers that call you in the middle of your dinner. I’m thinking about professional business development people who are tasked with finding new customers and serving existing customers for your company or any company for that matter.

The sales rep needs information to guide you to make the best decision about a purchase for the needs of your business. The sales rep asks a lot of questions about those needs. But if you listen closely to the conversation, there is something else going on. The sales person has to be a good listener and asking a question forces the sales person to listen to you instead of “selling” you.

But it works the other way around. If the sales person tries to tell you or “sell” you on a product, you’ll only half listen. You have better things to think about then listening to some sales rep natter on about a product you’re only half interested in, in the first place. The smart sales rep asks instead of tells. You’ll hear questions like:

• How would it feel to never have to worry about digital security breaches again?
• How would a new digital security breakthrough fit into your network?

Such questions are conversation starters. When a sales rep opens a dialogue, the customer listens and responds. The exchange will be in the form of brief statements and more questions. For the sales person, this dialogue will guide the customer in making an informed choice about their purchase.

BTW, the questions above are the type we ask at FXX Enterprises about our new digital security solution, DVNC, which prevents the kind of security breaches you hear about every day in the news. This, of course, raises another question: Why aren’t more of those big box retailers, restaurant chains, banks and medical offices calling us yet? Learn more by visiting our FXX website by clicking here.

The same thing applies to a teacher or college professor. If your instructor drones on with a lecture for the whole class period, you’re likely to be found among those students snoring away in the back of the room or among the note exchanging lovers. Either way, you’re not going to ace that next exam. But if the teacher asks leading questions, you are more likely to become engaged in the topic leading to that A. (They still give As, don’t they?) 

Let’s bring this Q&A back to writing dialogue in fiction. If people only half listen, then how realistic is it for your characters to have a lovely conversation as though they have nothing else on their minds to distract them? Instead of trading facts and opinions in a nonstop back and forth of data dumping, have your characters raise leading questions that force the other character to respond.

Your characters, like people everywhere, have to focus to answer a question. If a character isn’t focused on the conversation, asking a question will make this obvious and help restore the listener’s focus.

To add realism to your dialogue, have a distracted character not listen. Have the other character call out the non-listening one. While you’re engaged in writing realistic dialogue, avoid long lectures by your character by breaking the information up into a back and forth conversation. (There are exceptions of course, but in general, short and spiffy is better than long and “Oops, I fell asleep. What were we talking about?”)

Why haven’t you downloaded Snpgrdxz yet?
My full-length new novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, is going for less than a buck for your Kindle this week on Amazon. You only have today and tomorrow. So what gives? Why wouldn’t you click on over to Amazon right now and check this deal out?

How to Get to Know Your Characters

The Write Time Writer’s Group in Geneva, Illinois, discussed ways to get to know a character in preparation for writing a novel. With Nanowrimo coming up in November, these ideas may help you prepare to write a novel in a month.

Here’s our list:

1. Give them their own goals.
2. Identify personal theme songs for each character.
3. Write a voice summary for each character. As an author, you have a voice. Your characters need their own voice to help you distinguish them from each other.
4. Interview your characters. This is one of my favorites. As my character answers a series of questions, her personality, mannerisms and speech patterns emerge.
5. Rewrite the Gettysburg Address as the character. This gets at the character’s voice and personality.
6. Diagnostic – Use DSM for mental disorders – working reference for physicians, psychologists, social workers, attorneys, etc.
7. What else is going on in your character’s life? This is the backstory that doesn’t make it into your novel, but helps you get to know the character.
8. Which Hollywood actor would play your character? Basing your character on an actor provides a built-in character description.
9. Write the story and the characters will reveal themselves. At the end of first draft, you will know your characters. Make adjustments as part of the editing.

Explore the characters in my new horror humor novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, today for less than a buck for your Amazon Kindle. It’s nonstop action, nonstop monsters and nonstop laughter when you visit the crazy world of Snpgrdxz, the teenaged alien shape shifter, and his high school buddy Bryan Ganarski. And don’t forget Jennifer Hawkins. A guy has to have someone to fall in love with even if she does shoot at you, right? Click here to learn more.

The Curse of Dracula

Grummuglefix.

That’s what I say when I’m angry like when some smart alec stakes my heart while I’m dead. But you didn’t stop by to hear me curse. I am Dracula, Count of Transylvania. My people hate me because I charge high taxes. The town councils complain.

“What do you think?” they ask. “Do you expect blood from a stone?”

But I say, “Of course not. I have you for that. I don’t take all of your blood, just a little to pay for my many services to you like keeping out barbarian invaders from the north and civilized invaders from the south. And west? Don’t even ask about the west.”

Things run great in my country. People are happy once their bite marks heal up. I only take a little bit. It’s good for them. They make new, healthy blood.

Things went bad for a while when the Communists took over, and I was no longer Count Dracula. Instead, I became Comrade Dracula, Commissar of Transylvania.

But the people hated me because I charged high taxes. Comrades from Moscow said I had to share my castle with the workers. “It’s too big for one man with only three living dead wives,” they said.

I offered the villagers the opportunity to spend their nights in Dracula’s castle. Villagers all said, “No thank you. Your castle is too far from the factory.”

So the Communists fell after only 75 years in power. That’s like a long lunch break for me. I went into exile like all good former commissars. By the way, there’s no such thing as a “good” commissar. This explains why communism failed.

I moved to England and married the daughter of an earl. We were happy until she wanted a baby. I found a teenage baby for her. She became a nice daughter for Dracula and his lovely bride.

Grummuglefix.

She found out about boys.

Maybe you have seen her at the high school dance. She’s the one with the two big teeth up front. No braces.

My wife likes our teenager but wishes for a real baby still. I explained how vampires can’t have babies. You have to be human. Instead, please enjoy our teenage daughter. See she’s having nice romances with teenage boys and werewolves.

Our daughter is a nice girl. She brings her girlfriends home for a pajama party. We serve them snacks, sodas, booze and drugs. Then we suck their blood.

Before dawn, we send our daughter’s friends home happy. Later they make their mothers and fathers happy. Unfortunately, the authorities don’t like too much happiness, especially amongst their vampire neighbors. So as the police pound stakes during the day, I move the family back home to Transylvania.

Grummuglefix.

My three old wives do not like my new family, but I tell them we are one big happy family whether they like it or not. I remind them that Count Dracula can pound a few stakes just like Englishmen.

My teenage daughter adapts quickly to Transylvania. She loves dating the local boys at night.

Meanwhile, I am no longer Commissar as I said. Instead, I am Count Dracula again except now we have democracy. I am a very democratic count. I tax everyone equally. It’s only fair. Oh wait. I am progressive democrat. I tax rich people more equally than poor people. And I support health care plan because we need a nice hospital with a big blood bank.

***

Speaking of vampires…
Did you know that my new novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, is chock full of vampires? It’s loaded with trolls and a wide range of other strange monsters. It’s a horror story blended into a time travel journey. Snpgrdxz is pronounced as if spelled snip-grid-ix. Begin by reading the free chunk you can access by clicking on the book cover on Amazon by clicking here.

Snpgrdxz and the Discount Offer

Purchase Snpgrdxz for just 99 cents today.

The modern novel is about two things: action and emotion. Action moves the story along so that you can’t put it down because of the nonstop forward motion. Emotion is about laughter, joy, excitement. It’s about anger, fear and angst. It’s about the exhilaration of needing to know what will happen next. Above all, it’s about falling in love with one person in one place, and with one book, one author. For love conquers everything including the monsters who’d love to kill us, eat us, or transform us into something unspeakable in the world of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.

What if one night that teenage girl you have a crush on appears at the foot of your bed, pistol in hand, and threatens to shoot you? But your best friend and a terrorist burst into your bedroom and kill her in the nick of time? But the next night this same girl shows up in your bed again? This time she’s ready for love. When did your dead crush become your girlfriend? Wild dreams? Since when did your nightmares leave actual bullet holes and blood stains behind?

Join the crazy journey of Bryan Ganarski, Jennifer Hawkins, Gilbert Armstrong, and of course, Snpgrdxz, the teenaged space alien shape shifter who can be either a boy or girl depending on his or her mood. Hormones fly, earther and other, in this madcap misadventure.

Is Bryan totally insane or is there a part of him that can still fall in love with one of the many versions of his time-traveling girlfriend? And will Bryan work up the gumption to kiss Jennifer in front of the whole sophomore class like she asked him to? She did ask him, didn’t she?

This love-crazed tale of time travel features a group of friends who become stuck between the wrong time on earth and a troll world filled with monsters far worse than those pesky tiny bridge trolls and the really tall, hairy mountain trolls. An evil daemon, werewolves, nosferatu, and a few ghosts are among the many monsters waiting for you in Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. It’s the first novel in my new sci-fi/fantasy horror series.

Enjoying a great read begins with action and emotion. Act now to purchase Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters on Kindle today for only $0.99 US. Save $2 US and pay less than a buck. Such a deal! Don’t miss out on it. Click here now.

You can get all emotional later as you read Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.

In case you missed it, here’s the link to my new novel on Amazon: Click here.

A Modern Warrior Woman

Jennifer Hawkins discovers her role as the warrior attracted to a cowardly boyfriend in Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. Jennifer protects and lifts up her boyfriend while displaying the courage to become the only female member of the time travelling team searching for the lost Maria Gonzalez. She serves as the conscience of the group while retaining her nickname of Wild Thing. It’s Jennifer who dispatches two of the mobsters who attack in 1923, and she is the one who serves as nurse to a wounded Bryan Ganarski. (BTW, you’ll want to check out this scene as described in a first-person point of view by Bryan after he is wounded in the head. It makes for an interesting Tour de Force.)

Jennifer meets herself on her time journey and the two Jennifers travel together without having the time-space continuum collapse. Apparently the universe can abide a paradox. 

One of the things to watch for as you read my Snpgrdxz (pronounced like it's spelled Snip-grid-ix) series of novels is the way the two main Jennifers (there are others that pop in from time to time) grow in two different directions with one becoming a strong female warrior while the other descends into evil.

By having two versions of the same strong female character, I’m able to explore the way any of us can choose evil or good actions. Snpgrdxz also provides a humorous way to examine the theme of good and evil in our modern culture which dismisses this kind of contrast as primitive Bronze Age thinking. In a world that approves of our actions as “lifestyle choices,” the Snpgrdxz novels show that not all choices are for the good and not all actions give life.

Read the free portion of the first novel in the Snpgrdxz series, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, by clicking here for the book on Amazon.

And while you’re on Amazon, be sure to download the Kindle version of my most downloaded short story Little Miss Forgotten. It reached number 33 on Amazon this morning and today is the last day it's free.

Today’s Nostalgia Post: How can a Christian write a story where a character commits a murder? Take a deep dive into a philosophical issue. Click here.

The Girl with the Killer Kiss

You have to be realistic. Like all other organizations, whether for profit or not for profit, the idea is to promote your services in the most attractive way. For example, would you voluntarily kiss a monster in a floor-length hoodie? Or allow the same monster to kiss you full on the lips?

When it comes to applying the kiss of death, wouldn’t the victim be more likely to respond to the advances of an attractive young person?

What we have here is the basis for my short story, Little Miss Forgotten, a tale about a death angel who takes her vacation in the real world where you and I live. The story is set during the Vietnam War era when death angels were especially busy and their vacations well-earned. What happens when a vacationing death angel meets a regular guy in search of love?

Find out by reading Little Miss Forgotten. It’s available today free on Amazon. Download your free copy by clicking here.

Today’s Nostalgia Post: Mosquitoes. The season isn’t over yet, so let’s take a quick look at mosquito prevention humor from August 2009. Click here.

Death Takes a Vacation

We often think of death as an angel sent to take away your soul to judgment, leaving your body as an empty shell for the fire pit or burial ground. But the world is so overrun by people that one angel simply can’t snatch all the souls fast enough, especially in a war zone. So what’s Death to do?

It turns out the Death Department operates a whole cadre of death angels, each assigned to its own territory and given a quota to  meet. Death angels, known in the Vatican archives as Deathabus, circle about their area of responsibility to snag those souls ready for the great beyond.

On occasion, the Deathabus is authorized to take a vacation. Now, you may be picturing the agent of Death as this mysterious skeletal creature wrapped inside a floor length hoodie, but nothing could be farther from the truth. The angels of death, all of them, are either handsome young men in appearance or attractive, well-figured females. The one who kisses you depends on your preference. Death knows your secret desires to be sure.

Learn more about the deathly kiss of greeting by reading Little Miss Forgotten. It’s available today free on Amazon. Download your free copy by clicking here.

Today’s nostalgia post: Day 1 describes the first day of a road trip taken by my adult son Joseph and me back in 2009. In this post, I channel Robert M. Pirsig despite my then desire to wax Hemingway-esque. Click here to read.

Little Miss Forgotten

My writing style has evolved over time as has reader tastes. Novels I write today begin with a strong hook. For example, my new novel Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, begins with this line:

From where she stood at the foot of my bed, fifteen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins couldn’t miss, but would this sweet girl shoot me?

The idea of the opening hook is to entice you into wanting to know what happens next. Will Jennifer Hawkins pull the trigger? There was a time when a story about a teenage girl and a gun would end up with the girl not firing. But this is a 21st century girl who has been raised in an era of high violence, often meaningless, involving teen-on-teen crime.

So does Jennifer pull the trigger? The odds are very high that she does, but I’ll let you find out for yourself when you read the free portion by clicking the book cover on Amazon. Click here to visit Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters on Amazon. BTW, Snpgrdxz is pronounced as if spelled Snip-grid-ix. It’s all explained in the novel.

This brings us back to Little Miss Forgotten, a strong female character who appears in my short story of the same name. This is an older story of mine, and it features a more languid opening style of stories written decades ago when readers preferred a little more setup before the action blazed hot.

Here is the opening:

"Do you wanna dance?" Okay, it was the name of a top ten hit, and today's kids would sneer if they heard me, but in 1967 it worked.

She hesitated. She frowned. She stared for what seemed an eternity, (about three seconds). "Sure, why not?"

I don't remember the song. The band was on break, and the young kids who worked as house deejays were playing records. It was a fast one. You just didn't ask a girl to dance a slow one the first time. You had to dance a couple of fast ones first. At a nice suburban Catholic church hall like Holy Cross, a girl accepting a slow dance was giving you an invitation to climb all over her.

We danced that first one, and then a few more fast dances. They were the usual Mashed Potato, Watusi and Stomp. Then a slow one came on, my all-time favorite: "Angel Baby" by Rosie and the Originals. (High falsetto, andante: "It's just like heav-en, be-ing here with yo-oo, 'cause you're like an an-gel, too good to be true-oo, but after-ah-all, I love you, I do-oo, An-gel Ba-by, my An-gel Ba-by," etc.) These lyrics won’t mean much to you unless you already know the song, but trust me, the tune was great for slow dancing.

***

Set during the Vietnam war era, the rest of this short horror fiction is yours free for your Kindle by clicking here today. Beware the kiss of death and as always, stay away from those pretty little blondes.

Okay, you don’t have to avoid the blondes, but you still have to watch out for that one kiss from Little Miss Forgotten that will change your life forever. Click here for the free download.

Today’s nostalgia blog post is from May 22, 2009. Click here for a sweet yarn on yet another strong young lady and my take on wisdom.

Celebrating the Fifth

I’m celebrating the fifth year of this blog with a series of special offers beginning this week with my short story Little Miss Forgotten, which is a free download all this week on Amazon. Usually my short stories sell for $0.99 so this represents a stupendous savings of nearly a buck.

I’ll tell you more about Little Miss Forgotten as the week goes on. In the meantime, you can download your free copy by clicking here.

Other special offers to look for include the Kindle version of Book 1 of my new Snpgrdxz (say “Snip-grid-ix” series) which you can purchase for only $0.99 next week, marked down from the usual $2.99 on Kindle. If you can’t wait, you may purchase it now by clicking here. 

I’ll be giving away more short stories in the coming months. And look for some of my novels at a discount. I’ll also launch two more novels in the Snpgrdxz series in time for the holidays.

Enjoy. Don’t forget to click here for your free download of Little Miss Forgotten for your Kindle.

Today’s Nostalgia Post: As part of this week’s celebration of five years of blogging, I’ll link you to some of my favorite oldie but goodie posts. My first blog post appeared on April 17, 2009. In that one, I ask “Am I There Yet?” which is a lighthearted look at the art of blog posting and my entry into the realm.  You can read post number one by clicking here.

Strong Women Make Great Lovers

Penny Durkin is the most complex female character I’ve created to date. She starts as a conniving teenager bent on seducing a younger teen only to discover that she falls in love with him in a reversal of the Romeo and Juliet story where Romeo is the older one of the couple. Steel Pennies has a plot that leads Penny to become a suspect as well as a potential next victim. Her strength of character comes across in the climatic final chapters of the story. She loves Tommy McConnell while attempting to protect her younger brother from an abusive father and older brother. She deals with her own pregnancy resulting from a previous relationship with a victim of a serial killer. Penny also deals with her mother’s rejection and the racial tension that flares in her mixed community. Steel Pennies has a blockbuster ending with Penny in the middle of the action.

Another strong female character in Steel Pennies is Chiamaka, which translates as “God is beautiful.” Chiamaka is a 13-year-old proto Angela Davis-type character. She has no problem telling you what she thinks and how she feels.

Steel Pennies is a story of the human monsters that haunt our world. The story could have been ripped from today’s headlines, but is set in an earlier era when the monsters were us as well as the crazies who brought down death and worse upon their innocent victims.

You can read a large chunk of Steel Pennies free by clicking on the book cover on Amazon.

If you’re ready to check out the free portion of my latest novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, click here for the book on Amazon.

Both stories are laced with the humor that characterizes my treatment of the madness of life.

Strong Women Make Strong Monsters

Peevy O’Malley in Hags plays a minor role compared to my other female characters. She was the teenage girlfriend of Micah before he spent fifteen years in prison. Upon his return at the start of the story, she rejects him. Micah finds love where he can, but through it all, Peevy remains strong willed so that in the end… well, you’ll have to read this story for yourself. The other women in Hags may be hags, but they are strong hags. They do not hesitate to display their feminine wiles or their hag witchcraft powers. Perfect for Halloween.

The popular horror stories today emphasize the romantic notion that there are good monsters and bad monsters. Just because Stefan is a twinkling day walker vampire doesn’t necessarily make him evil, does it? He rarely drinks human blood anymore. And Carl the werewolf is just a misunderstood teenager bent on a few hairy adventures whenever the moon is full. Okay, so a few people may get hurt or killed along the way, but really, these monsters just want to love their human girlfriends and live their lives unhindered by their evil fellow monsters or the local sheriff or vampire killer. Is that asking too much?

Yes, it is. In my stories, you will recognize the monsters for what they really are – evil demonic presences bent on the destruction of humankind. My monsters cling to the darkness in fear of the light. My female monsters in stories like Hags may be strong women, but they are evil just the same. Demons, whether in the shape of hellish feigns or twinkling vampires, always have the same ambition to destroy God’s creation, especially by leading humans to join them in hell.

So if you enjoy a story where monsters truly are the bad guys and humans are the good guys, then you’ll enjoy my stories. And the strong characters in Hags.

You can read a large chunk of Hags free by clicking on the book cover on Amazon. Click here for the book page.

If you’re ready to check out the free portion of my latest novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, click here for the book on Amazon.

Both novels offer a humorous look at the horror genre, but the characters are genuine and crafted for a serious take on the struggle between good and evil in a world caught up in the midst of spiritual warfare where the battles are often fought just beyond our ability to experience them through our five senses.

Strong Women Make Strong Stories

In Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, Bryan Ganarski kisses Jennifer Hawkins in front of the entire sophomore class. The next thing you know, Bryan is flat on his back on the floor.

Jennifer has slugged him on the jaw.

Women don’t have to bash a guy to prove they are strong, but it helps. More often in fiction a strong woman grows out of a scared young lady facing danger beyond her comprehension. The strong woman has the strength to face her circumstances, no matter what. And she grows by her experiences.

With four novels under my belt, I can see a trend of strong female characters. These include Mary of Nazareth in Fulfillment, Peevy O’Malley in Hags, Penny Durkin in Steel Pennies and Jennifer Hawkins in my latest novel Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. They each display strength of character and a will to survive that serves them well in their stories.

Fulfillment: Mary
In Fulfillment I try to bring the Christmas story to life for modern readers. The real story of Mary is one of the most fascinating plot lines in history as she travels from innocence to the experience of motherhood while retaining her virgin status.

As the main character of Fulfillment, Mary of Nazareth faces down Satan while pregnant with the future Messiah. Mary starts as a very young girl with no experience dealing with evil, but evil shows up just the same. From the novel’s opening scene onward, demons seek to destroy the woman who would mother a savior. Mary matures in strength and character as she accepts an angel’s invitation to become the mother of Jesus. She deals with an initial rejection when her parents learn that she is pregnant by someone other than her fiancé. Her fiancé rejects her only to change his mind later. By standing her ground against the evil that attacks her, she brings an odd assortment of characters to her side as her defenders.

I’ll write more about my female characters in future posts. For now, you can read a large chunk of Fulfillment for free by clicking on the book cover on Amazon. Click here.

If you’re ready to check out the free portion of my latest novel, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters, click here for the book on Amazon.

Words That Bite

Did you know that robots scour the Internet with nothing better to do than seek out and copy words and reveal those words to their mad scientist bosses? These mechanical beasts look like tiny metal spiders bearing little resemblance to the spider bots in Minority Report, the eye-popping film featuring Tom Cruise.

Here is one of the words you must avoid: “at” or as it is more popularly known online “@.”

You would think “at” would be a simple enough word as to be innocuous, but innocuous is too big of a word to describe a little word. Matters become worse if you happen to forget to leave spaces between your words like the automatic random space skipping feature built into Windows 8.

For example, if you type a simple sentence like eat@joes.com, you not only will lose your spaces, but you also will flunk that English test you’re taking at this moment for using “@” instead of “at.” While checking out the "@,"you’re bound to notice the dot (also known as a period or end stop depending on whether you are writing in English or American). You may be wondering about the reason I asked you to notice the dot in the first place in the previous sentence. No reason except I want you to notice it. Dot itself is a transliteration from the original Geek and just goes to show what can happen if you don’t have any English majors on your team. Always hire an English major if only to keep your words honest.

And never place words ending in “por” next to the word “no” as in “Bob came home last night in a drunken stupor. No!” The bots, being horny little devils, will inevitably fix your grammar, spelling and punctuation as they assume you typed your stuff in Windows 8 and hadn’t got around to the editing yet. As a result, the bots will translate your simple story bit into “Drunken Stu’s porno.” You’ll notice most of the letters match, but the spacing and such have all gone different. And of course Bob changed his name to Stu.

Putting this advice together in a more or less typical story line, we read “Don’t eat at Joes or dot calm girls because someone may mistake you for a porno star named Stu of Bob." BTW, the bots, I’m quite sure, have rendered “more or less” as “moralless” by now, which is not an actual word, but that has never stopped people from using it as in “Helen is a moralless bioche for running off with that dude (dewd) from Troy.” The other possibility is the bots will interpret “more or less” as “moralist” as in “That Helen is some moralist. Did you see the way she fought off that dude (dewd?) from Troy?”

How do you fix those pesky bots invading your online presence? Here I do not mean “repair” when I write “fix.” I am, of course, referring to the concept of total destruction of the bots. It’s the only way.

How do you fix the dreaded Internet spider bots, you ask? Give them something they can’t read, but you can like…

Snpgrdxz

and the Time Monsters

Click here.

Where is Snpgrdxz?

My new novel was supposed to be launched the other day, but one of my characters hi-jacked my blog when I wasn’t looking. Claiming to be my nephew, which he’s not, this young character told you more than you should know about Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters and most of it may or may not have been true.

By focusing on his own adventures, Bryan Ganarski neglected to introduce you to Snpgrdxz, the space alien teenage space shifter. Bryan pretty much does this in my novel also. He’s supposed to be Boswell to Snpgrdxz’s Samuel Johnson. But instead he spends way too much time telling you about Jennifer Hawkins, the sophomore he has this huge crush on.

With Bryan you learn more about Jennifer than you want to know, like the location of that birthmark she’d prefer to keep to herself and the multiple versions of herself. That was supposed to be kept secret. Wait until the NSA hears about that one. They don’t believe in time travel in Washington. If they did, they’d figure out how to balance the budget, but that’s another story.

According to my outline, Snpgrdxz is supposed to be the story of an alien shape shifter stuck on earth for decades. His big problem is the U.S. government which wants to capture him so they can slice, dice and dissect him. Bryan Ganarski is supposed to run away with Snpgrdxz and record his adventures while narrowly escaping the men in black.

But that’s not what happened.

Teenagers.

Who knew there was a time portal hidden under Lincoln High School in downtown Wheaton, Illinois? Well, actually the trolls knew about it.

And Maria Gonzalez obviously when the trolls kidnapped her.

And Mr. Romano, the art teacher, must have known about it because he’s the one who led the gang to the Wheaton When Portal in the first place. But none of this has anything to do with running away from those pesky guys in the black suits.

Oh well. That’s what you get when you leave a kid in charge of your story.

Go ahead and read this sci/fi time journey adventure romance thing. I have to admit the love story is romantic, except for the parts where people get shot at… and hit by real bullets. And attacked by monsters. But hey… no wait. You know too much already.

Just read the darn thing and you can let me know how you liked it later. Meanwhile, I’ll see what I can do to bring back that part about the feds chasing Snpgrdxz in a future novel in this series.

Click here.

Snpgrdxz Has Landed

Jennifer Hawkins crept into my room last night and plopped on my bed. We talked after midnight on a school night. In her jammies. Bare legs hanging out. That Jennifer Hawkins. The one with the long, straight brunette hair and fat ruby lips and high cheek bones. A bit on the skinny side but tall. Principal Hawkins’ daughter. Old Mrs. Hawkins, the choir director at First Pres’s, daughter.

I know this stuff is hard to believe, but I swear I'm not making it up. My name is Bryan Ganarski, BTW, and I don't make stuff up unless my old man asks me a question.

You’re reading this because my Uncle Paul said I could use his blog account. There’s no way I’d post this where Jennifer Hawkins could see it. Or her mom or dad. Or any of her girlfriends. Or the guys. Well, I guess it's okay if the guys know.

I don’t even know why I’m telling you my story except Uncle Paul said everybody would figure it was just part of that new novel he wrote.

Right.

Like you can write a novel on a blog.

So there I was with Jennifer Hawkins, the prettiest sophomore at Lincoln High, getting mighty friendly at one-thirty in the morning. She grabbed my face in her hands and made me look up into her big, brown bedroom eyes. That’s what Uncle Paul calls girls with big eyes. Bedroom eyes. Especially if they’re all drooping and wet like you better hurry up and kiss me or something lame like that.

Uncles.

Anyway, Jennifer stared me eyeball-to-eyeball as I melted. “Hi, Bryan. Guess you’re wondering what I’m doing in your bedroom in the middle of the night, huh?”

“Kinda.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I like you.”

If you’re expecting a major make out session, you’d be right except this was all a freaking dream. The real story began when I opened my eyes, like I said in the middle of the night, except Jennifer Hawkins wasn’t making kissy face with me. 

In the real world, the teenage girl you have a crush on wakes you up late at night because she wants to blow your head off with the Glock she’s pointing your way.

Welcome to my world.

Yes, she pulls the trigger, but I’m not about to tell you anymore here because I’ve already used up my allotment of words for this blog post so you’ll just have to read it for yourself.

Who knows? Maybe Jennifer will love me tomorrow night.

Snpgrdxz.

And the Time Monsters.

Click here.

News Flash: Bad Decisions

Guest Post by Susan Price

Who doesn't enjoy complaining about Fools responding to Crises with Bad Decisions? News Flash: Bad Decisions, a party game currently under development by Diamond Dust Dreams, encourages you to enjoy doing that. This card game involves combining news-lead or headline sentence “teleprompt” cards with cards listing generic categories of famous (or infamous) people as the fools, crises ranging from mundane to outrageous, and flagrantly Bad Decisions for you to combine into amusing mini-stories.

News Flash: Bad Decisions plays like a cross between Apples to Apples® and Mad Libs®, with each prompt card playing differently every time because the News Anchor (judge) gets to set up every story. The finished game will have 200 cards each in the Fool, Crisis and Bad Decision decks - and 60 teleprompter cards. With a PG13 approach for selecting crises and bad decisions (from actual news stories), Diamond Dust Dreams expects its newest game will give the much racier Cards Against Humanity strong competition as the next must-have party game.

Diamond Dust Dreams is still in its startup phase. With substantial capital already tied up in printing its first game, Kitsune: of Foxes and Fools, the company has turned to Kickstarter to get News Flash: Bad Decisions off the ground. By contributing as little as $10 to the Kickstarter project, you’ll qualify for reward levels with direct input into the creation of additional Fool, Crisis, Bad Decision and Teleprompter cards. All supporters giving $10 or more may suggest topics for future Bad Decisions games, such as: horror movies (“went into the woods alone - at night”), thriller/scifi (“pressed the red button”), modern European history (“invaded Russia in winter”), and biotech (“cloned what?”).

The Kickstarter goal is $20,000, enough to cover the down-payment on a full production print run, so News Flash: Bad Decisions can go on press as soon as the team finishes proofing the final prompt and play decks, including cards suggested by Kickstarter supporters. Game stores are already expressing interest in News Flash: Bad Decisions, although even with the Kickstarter, the company cannot guarantee the game being delivered by Christmas 2014. That said, it could be printed in time to become the hot new Valentine’s Day gift in 2015.

Join our supporters and learn more by checking out the Kickstarter for News Flash: Bad Decisions. This Kickstarter ends September 21, 2014 so please click now. Send comments to Susan Price. 

***

About the Guest Author
Susan Price is a long-time editor and writer. She has edited both fiction and nonfiction books, including Brian Basilico’s book, It’s Not About You, It’s about Bacon, which was named the 2014 Small Business Book Awards Community Choice Winner in the category of Social Media. Her own fiction and poetry is as yet unpublished, although she did win a short story contest run through the Bloomingdale Public Library in 2000. Most of her writing and editing skills now focus on developing and promoting games for Diamond Dust Dreams Inc.


Snpgrdxz
Meanwhile, for a timely return to my world, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters is ready to read. Visit Amazon and enjoy.

Cover Reveal -- Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters

It's time to unveil the cover or my new novel,  Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters. It's the first book in my new Snpgrdxz Series. The first three books in the series will be available in Kindle format right away with the paperback version available by next week. Here's a brief description of Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters...

From where she stood at the foot of my bed, fifteen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins couldn’t miss, but would this sweet girl shoot me?

What if one night that teenage girl you have a crush on appears at the foot of your bed, pistol in hand, and threatens to shoot you? But your best friend and a terrorist burst into your bedroom and kill her in the nick of time? But the next night this same girl shows up in your bed again? This time she’s ready for love. When did your dead crush become your girlfriend? Wild dreams? Since when did your nightmares leave actual bullet holes, dead bodies and blood stains behind?

Join the crazy journey of Bryan Ganarski, Jennifer Hawkins, Gilbert Armstrong, and of course, Snpgrdxz, the teenaged space alien shape shifter who can be either a boy or girl depending on his or her mood. Hormones fly, earther and other, in this madcap misadventure. Is Bryan totally insane or is there a part of him that can still fall in love with one of the many versions of his time-traveling girlfriend? And will Bryan work up the gumption to kiss Jennifer in front of the whole sophomore class like she asked him to? She did ask him, didn’t she?

This love-crazed tale of time travel features a group of friends who become stuck between the wrong time on earth and a troll world filled with monsters far worse than those pesky tiny bridge trolls and the really tall, hairy mountain trolls. An evil daemon, werewolves, nosferatu, and a few ghosts are among the many monsters waiting for you in Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.


My new novel should be ready for purchase by the time you read this. Visit my author's page on Amazon to buy it. UPDATE: YOU MAY PURCHASE SNPGRDXZ AND THE TIME MONSTERS BY CLICKING HERE.

In the meantime, here's the cover:

Meet Jennifer Hawkins

Jennifer Hawkins is a fifteen-year-old sophomore this year at Lincoln High School in Wheaton, Illinois. For this interview, she wore a Christian t-shirt with extremely small, tight shorts. She has long, straight brunette hair and fat ruby lips and high cheek bones. A bit on the skinny side but tall, Jennifer has a light brown birthmark splotch on her left thigh. The spot has the shape of a map of Italy with the boot facing the wrong way. There is no mistaking the sweet, soft voice of Jennifer Hawkins or the shade of her dark green eyes and her rosy, high cheekbones.

Jennifer, how are you today?
Okay, I guess. You know, it’s a nice day out. I wore my shorty to school.

What’s it like in high school?
It’s the best. I’m like a sophomore this year so I’m hip to what’s going on and it’s, you know, I get to hang with the cool kids.

So do you have a boyfriend?
My over protective parents don’t allow me to date yet so no.

But you like someone in particular, right?
I don’t have a boyfriend. I told you I can’t date yet. Ask me that question next year.

So you’re not into boys yet?
Didn’t say that, did I? Boys are hot, especially upper classmen, like juniors and seniors. Seniors are really mature, you know what I mean? They get it when it comes to what a girl likes and they all have their own cars. When I’m old enough to date, I’ll only date seniors.

So if you can’t date until next year, are you scouting this year’s juniors?
Scouting? I’m not above checking out a boy’s bottom, but I’m like a good girl. A Christian. No I don’t think about boys. Well, maybe once in a while if I meet a hot one. You know, good looking. I’m not talking about hopping in bed hot. I just mean good looking, attractive. Dynamite buns.

Anyone in particular?
I have my eye on a boy or two, but like I said, no dating this year. I don’t want to date. My parents are right. You start dating too soon and the girl ends up pregnant or broken hearted. I want to wait. See, I have my chastity ring. I’m waiting for marriage. And I’m going to college, so boys can wait.

Care to name any names of hot boys in the junior class who might be on your checkout list for next year?
What’s your hang up with boys? Why do you care who I like. You’re a little old to be asking so many boy questions. What are you, a perv or what?

Sorry. You know how it is when you write a novel. You have to write about people you know and so I want to learn what I can about you including your likes and dislikes.
Can’t you just wait to find out like everybody else? Write the damn story and see for yourself who I like. Sorry, I said damn. It just slipped out.

Okay, let’s move on. It’s just that, you know, I’m talking to the boys and your name did come up.
Really? Who?

(Smiles)
Oh, I get it. You can’t tell me. But so tell me anyway. No, let me guess. I bet it was either Bryan Ganarski or Gilbert Armstrong. I spotted them checking me out at youth group last week.

Do they qualify as hot?
One of them does. Don’t know about the other.

***

Curious to learn more about Jennifer Hawkins?

Snpgrdxz…

What Makes a Good Character Good?

Writing style and a good story arc keep you reading a novel, but what really holds your interest is a compelling main character. You relate to the main character as a new found friend with a story to tell, one that is well worth hearing. What is it about the main character that makes him or her so interesting?

The main character of a novel has a personality that you can relate to, whether he’s a hard-boiled private eye or she’s a sweet teenager falling in love for the first time. The main character has a certain look that attracts you. She may be a pretty brunette. Or he may be a hawk-nosed, scar-faced battler.

Beyond personality and looks, the main character has a huge problem which makes the story interesting. And the problem has two facets to it like two sides of a coin. Side one is the problem you see right away as a reader. Will that skinny teenage girl pull the trigger and end the main character’s life on page one? With one wild event after another, is he going crazy?

Side two is the hidden or secret problem you don’t know about until later in the story. Is he a coward? What does he do about his cowardice? How does he learn to become brave or does he?

What do you find compelling about the main characters in the stories you read or write?

Speaking of characters…

Snpgrdxz!

How to Find a Writing Class

This question came up in the writer’s group I lead: “What’s a good way to find writing classes other than week-long retreats in Montana? Something closer to home would help.”

If you live in Montana, this is less of a problem, isn’t it? For us Midwesterners, here are some ways to learn more about the craft of writing closer to home:

Chicago Writers Conference: An excellent writers conference for all genres. Learn, mix, mingle and enjoy. This conference will open the door for you into the Chicago writing world. Registration open now for the October conference. http://www.chicagowritersconference.org/
Write to Publish Conference: This one is focused on the Christian market, but the classes are excellent.  http://www.writetopublish.com/
American Christian Fiction Writers: This is an online Christian writer’s group that offers the best online writing resources I’ve seen. And it’s one-stop shopping for all your writing needs. It’s Christian, but the access to learning opportunities may make joining worth it for non-Christians who don’t mind the Christian market focus. You’ll meet a lot of Christian romance writers along with writers of every genre. http://www.acfw.com/
Join a critique group: Members will educate you when you screw up. Your local library may have a list. Also check with your local book store if one still exists in your area. If you can’t find a writers group, start one. See next item for one way to start one.
Community College Writing or Lit Classes: Get friendly with the profs. Invite them to lunch, breakfast or coffee meetups. I’ve heard of writing classes evolving into writing groups so if you can’t find a group, you may be able to start one with the other members of your local writing or lit class.
Join the association for your genre: There is a professional association related to all genres. Some are better than others. Most focus on serving the established professionals who are conventionally published. Find them through a Google search. An example is Mystery Writers of America.
Volunteer Beta Reader: Online publications sometimes need readers to go through the over supply of submissions they can’t possibly get to. Seek out publications serving the genre you write in. This service may lead to contacts and education opportunities.
Teach: Developing a lesson and teaching it is the best way to retain your learning of the topic. Use the above resources to gain the info you need.

Try a Google search if you simply want to learn more about a specific writing topic, like “What’s a plot arc?” You’ll discover blog posts and articles dealing with the topic. Since writers like to blog about writing topics, you may find bloggers you want to follow.

Speaking of genre fiction, I have three novels out that cross horror, thriller and historical fiction genres. For my next novel, I combined all three into one story. I also blended in sci fi/fantasy and romance so it's a mishmash of genres that add up to Snpgrdxz...

Move the Plot Forward

For those times you find yourself unable to push down the pesky keys, move the plot forward. You know what has to come next in your story, so describe your ensuing scene. Begin with a description of the location and then move on to dialogue. Don’t worry about the quality of your writing. All you want to do at this point is put the facts down on your computer. You will come back later and polish your writing.

Here’s another way to write out of a block, especially if you don’t really know what comes next in your story. Push two of your characters out on stage and get them talking to each other. Treat the scene like a blind date where the conversation is always awkward at first. Within a few lines, the dialogue will turn golden as your characters become comfortable. If you need to describe the next scene before the dialogue can begin, then start writing about the location as I mentioned earlier in this article.

When blocked, don’t worry about the poetry of your words or the logic of your description or even if you are covering all the bases in your description. Just begin listing what has to be mentioned, but do so in sentence form. The idea is to focus on the facts of the story. Putting down the facts will lead you to write them in your natural story-telling style.

The key to successfully completing a novel is to keep on writing no matter what. Don’t stop because you feel blocked. Deny the existence of writer’s block. I do. Press the keys no matter what.

Comments welcome, even if you feel blocked. In the meantime, Snpgrdxz...

How to Get Back on Track

Are you trapped in a never-ending break from your writing? Writers occasionally need to recharge the batteries that power creativity. Here's a trick for rebooting your writing activity.

Commit to a schedule
Commit to a set time every day when you will sit and write. Make it specific like 7 to 7:15 am. Set aside 15 minutes to begin. Stay with it for at least a month even if most days you sit and stare. Sitting and staring is part of the writing process. So is clicking keys on a keyboard when you have nothing to write about just to see what gets clicked.

When I mention the 15-minute solution in my presentations, someone will ask if it’s okay to write longer than 15 minutes. I tell them that is the whole idea of setting aside 15 minutes. You can’t write for such a short amount of time. But the brief schedule will allow you to start. It's easier to obligate yourself to 15 minutes of writing than staring for a couple of hours. With such a brief commitment, you’ll find it easier to press the keys on your keyboard.

Next time we’ll discuss another way to stay on top of your writing.

In the meantime: Snpgrdxz.

Looking for Inspiration?

You are pumping out words by the truckload when you suddenly find yourself with the valve shut off. Some writers call this “Writer’s Block.” Others just think of it as a lack of motivation. Here is something to think about that may help you get your fingers dancing across the keyboard again.

Commit to the process
Take a long walk or whatever else you do when you want to think about yourself as a writer. Is writing important to you? Two truths in life for you to consider:

We buy what we really, truly want. And we do so without regard to cost or budget. There are limits of course, but for items up to about $100, we purchase what we want and say we can’t afford it for the things that are not important to us.

We do what we truly want to do. And we do so without regard to the amount of time it takes. Is there something else you enjoy more or are more passionate about that you do? Writing requires a time commitment. Take time to sit and stare at the keyboard even if you can't think of a thing to write.

If you are not putting in the time it takes to write your story, ask yourself if writing is what you truly want to do. We all need a break on occasion to recharge our writing energies, juices, enthusiasm, etc. If you are on break, don’t worry about it. Breaks can last from a few days to a few months. But at some point, you have to get back on track.

Next time we’ll deal with ways to get back on track.

Thought for the day: Snpgrdxz.

Brains, Guts and Money

Success in any human endeavor requires brains, guts and money. Throw in a bit of luck if you want along with a dollop of right place, right time. There you have it, the things that separate the folks in those big suburban houses and the rest of us. Let’s take these one at a time.

Brains aren’t about pure intelligence which usually is just an accumulation of facts combined with a razor sharp memory. True brains involve creativity, both kinds. One type of creative mind discovers a better way to build a bridge or cure cancer. The other type produces great art like poetry, paintings or music. It's about problem solving versus considering the possibilities.

Intestinal fortitude, visceral experience, gut-wrenching – use whatever term pleases you for those times when you simply have to reach deep inside for the strength to act decisively with an unusual solution. Writers need the guts to pursue their calling despite the low likelihood of financial success. All artists face this dilemma. How do you sacrifice the time it takes to create art when the chance of actually selling stuff is so low? Maybe you should go back to college to become an engineer.

Speaking of no money, it takes a financial nest egg to fund a heavy duty marketing campaign for your next book. Should you keep your precious resources locked up in retirement savings and investments? Or should you pluck it down on an expensive PR counselor with no assurance of a return on your investment?

Brains, guts and money separates successful authors from the also rans. Go ahead and throw in a pound or two of luck if you wish. I mentioned luck and right time, right place above. But if you think luck alone will put you on the best seller lists, forget about it.

Blood Fever

The afternoon wind blew cool through the trees when we spotted Nazis dug in along the hilltop. Bobby prepared his company to take up the right flank. Captain McNeil would lead the charge on the left. The center was mine. Bobby and McNeil knew to charge on my signal. I waited until they positioned their troops.

I glanced at Captain McNeil and Bobby before checking the Nazi line where the infamous telltale shape of a Nazi battle helmet glared off a ray of sunshine streaming through the trees. I aimed my M1 and squeezed off a spurt of lead. My right shoulder absorbed the recoil. I watched as the head exploded into brains, skull fragments and blood.

Bobby charged the hill on the signal. He yelled for all he was worth. Sergeant Logan jogged at his side while barking orders to the enlisted men. I gawped around for Captain McNeill and spotted a company of men in olive drab combat fatigues storm the hill on the left.

The trees swayed back and forth like a Saturday night drunk back home on Gay Street. I smelled blood in the air as I stood up, raised my rifle, and felt the impact of a bullet ping off my helmet, but I didn’t let that stop me. “Cheee-arrrge!” I screamed and four battalions of crack Army infantry rose to their feet and advanced on the center of the battlefield.

The Nazis had three machine gun nests set up at the top of the hill, but Bobby had already grenaded one of them. I owed him a drink for beating me to the top again. Captain McNeill launched grenade upon grenade into the machine gun nest on the left side of the hill. I advanced straight for the one in the center while bullets whistled by.

The trouble with leading an uphill charge was the bullets zinged past in both directions. I dropped to the ground about a grenade lob away from the center machine gun nest. There was a rock where my knee landed and I felt instant pain. I thought at first it was a bullet. I had been through this before. If it hurt a lot, it was a flesh wound, and you kept going. If there was not much pain, you were probably dying. Call the medic and keep shooting.

I rolled on my left side, dropped the M1, pulled a grenade from my belt and grabbed the pin with my teeth to yank it out. I spit the pin on the ground where it bounced once. I let the handle fly off the grenade and counted... one... two... three... and tossed. It exploded as it crossed over the sandbags protecting the machine gun nest in front of me. One of the Nazis flew out of the nest like a bird. The others were just body parts and blood. The machine gun became silent.

I took a gander at the remaining machine gun nests and saw Captain McNeill bayonating the last of the enemy on the hill. I examined my knee and shouted, “Oh crud, Medic!” I would have said something a lot worse, but Mom would have skinned me alive, and besides, crud was a four-letter word. Bobby ran down the hill and scrutinized my injury. When we were not soldiers, Bobby headed surgery at West Chester Memorial.

“You’re left knee is scraped. Could be a bullet in there. I better operate.” Bobby declared.

I yanked my pants leg back down. “Nah, leave it in there. It’ll make a great story for my grandchildren.”

“Good idea,” Bobby responded. “I didn’t bring my doctor kit. I’d have to use a sharp rock and my hatchet. Want to chase Confederates?”

THE END

The story above serves as back story to my novel Steel Pennies. If you want to know more about young people and “blood fever,” click here.

West Chester, Pennsylvania

Some places haunt the soul no matter where we send our thoughts to hide. Choices made long ago rise out of the soil and tarmac of a place to accuse us. Our decisions hold us bound to a place.

If the streets of West Chester, Pennsylvania, could speak, Walnut Street between Market and Minor would still whisper names I once knew.

“Loco, loco!” calls the voice of High Street in front of the big bank in the center of the block between Gay and Market. West Chester is one of the few towns in America where you can drive in High and cruise out Gay.

“Loco, loco!” cries Will Barnes, the Black voice selling The Daily Local News outside the bank. Except in those days he wasn’t Black or African-American or even a person of color. He was Colored or Negro.

“Loco, loco!”

To my best friend at that time, Bob Durkin, an Irish kid like me, Will Barnes’s cry brought fear. To me it was like the scary movies at the Harrison Theater on Gay Street that spring and summer of 1960, films too frightening not to worry a kid with imagination, but so bad they couldn’t help but make you laugh.

If Walnut Street could speak of that time, the blacktop would reach up like Will Barnes and cry its own “Loco, loco.”

One of the games we played that summer was called Love. Walnut Street still whispers, “Tommy McConnell loves Penny Durkin.”

“Loco, loco!”

Yet Walnut Street between Market and Minor murmurs in an even softer voice as though the words were somehow forbidden or that the whispering of them will return the horror that only the tarmac and I know.

“Loco, loco!”

THE BEGINNING

The story alluded to above is my novel Steel Pennies. If you want to know more about “the horror that only the tarmac and I know,” click here.

Where Babies Come From

I know where babies come from. Do you? My big brother Jimmy told me all about it. Jimmy said one day Mommy got sad ‘cause she didn’t have a boy friend. You know what Mommy did? Jimmy said she decided to meet a man named Daddy and so she did. Daddy made Mommy happy. That’s because Daddy was nice to her. Daddy bought her stuff. And Daddy took her places like the movies. Then one day Daddy took Mommy to church. That’s when they got married. That made Mommy and Daddy so happy.

“The End,” Jimmy said.

“Wait a minute,” I said. Where’s the part about the babies?”

Jimmy said, “Oh yeah, I forgot that part.”

Do you sometimes forget to tell a part when you tell a story? I know I do.

Then Jimmy told me about the babies. “So one day Mommy got sad.”

I said, “But I thought you said she was happy?”

“She was happy but she got sad anyway because she didn’t have a baby.”

“So then what happened?” I asked.

Jimmy said, “Daddy said to Mommy, ‘Look, Mommy, you’re not having a baby because you only have half a baby seed in your belly.’”

“How did Daddy know that?” I asked.

“Daddies are smart about things like that.”

“Oh,” I said.

Jimmy rubbed me on the head.  “Then Daddy said, ‘Look Mommy, I have half a seed, too. Let’s put my half with your half to make a whole baby seed.”

“Then what happened?” I asked.

Jimmy said, “They put their half a seeds together, and a baby started to grow inside Mommy’s belly.”

“Then what happened,” I asked. I ask that a lot you know.

Jimmy said, “When Mommy’s belly got too big out popped the baby.”

“Was the baby me?” I asked.

“No!” Jimmy said. “I was the first baby. You came second. That’s why I’m the oldest.”

“And that’s where babies come from?” I asked

“Yep,” Jimmy said.

“That’s silly,” I said. “I thought they came from Pittsburgh or one of those places like that.”

THE END

Questions for Readers

Yesterday, I posted the two rules for readers. By “readers” I refer, of course, to those unfortunate individuals who happen to know an author well enough to be asked to “read” their novel before the author publishes it. The idea is to provide brief comments, both positive and negative.

Oh yes, one more thing before you volunteer to become a reader… the writer is not asking you to edit the book so there’s no need to note all the typos, grammar errors or other stupid mistakes. It’s okay to note them if you wish, and the writer will appreciate anything so noted, but that’s not the job of the reader. Your job is to read, enjoy and then make a few comments about what you liked and didn’t like about the novel. So here are the three questions the writer most wants answered:

1. Did you read the entire novel? If not, what chapter or page did you stop on? (This question is important in case multiple readers stop on the same page or chapter because it tells the writer that something is amiss with that part of the book.)
2. What three things did you like most about the novel?
3. What three things did you like least about the novel?

There. That doesn’t sound so difficult, does it? Enjoy.

If at all possible, please respond to the writer within two or three weeks.

How to practice to become a “reader”
If you wish to practice being a reader, may I recommend starting with my thriller novel Steel Pennies? When you are finished, contact me with your comments at paul @ zuklloyd dot com. (Don’t forget to mush the address all together and use a real dot.) Put “Reader Comment” in the subject line so I don't think your important missive is spam although a piece of Spam with a bit of mustard might go well at the moment.

As your reward, I’ll email a free PDF copy of my “solve-it-yourself” mystery book – The Case of the Knife-Tossing Networker: 12 Mysteries Requiring Deductive Reasoning. BUT BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR AMAZON.COM ORDER NUMBER AS PROOF OF PURCHASE IN YOUR EMAIL. THIS NUMBER IS WRITTEN ON YOUR RECEIPT FROM AMAZON.COM.

Since I do not use an autoresponder like those online marketing gurus recommend, please allow a few days to hear back from me. If you don’t hear within a week, check the email address you sent it to. Or use the link at the bottom of the Me page (see links above).

Steel Pennies is racially-charged murder, mayhem and mischief wrapped around a teenage romance gone wild. It explores racial tension and forbidden love during the early days of the civil rights movement. It's a thriller written in a noir style laced with biting humor and oddball characters.

As another author wrote:
“Machine-gun sentences.  Fast.  Intense.  Mickey Spillane-style.  No way around it.  Paul is a top-notch noir writer.  Top-notch.”
Thomas Phillips author of The Molech Prophecy

Please click here to begin reading Steel Pennies.