Scary Humor

Showing posts with label Mary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mary. Show all posts

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Beginning Part 2

A prelude to my novel Fulfillment

Awake

Back inside the safety of the glowing light of an oil lamp and the lingering warmth of a fading cooking fire, Mary found her mother wiping the last of the plates.

“Where’s your dish, Mary?” Mother asked.

“Oh, I must have dropped it outside with the food. May I take Big Ears with me, Mother?”

“Mary, you’re such a child! Joseph wants a wife, not a pet.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask him. I think he likes dogs.”

“How would you know a thing like that?”

“I don’t really. I just said that I think he likes dogs. It’s what I think and what I hope. I will miss Big Ears if I can’t take him with me, Mother.”

“You’re not planning to take me along with you, too, are you?”

“Oh, Mother, of course not! You’re too old and besides, Daddy needs you here.”

“Thanks a lot, pal. Perhaps Daddy needs Big Ears. Somebody has to eat the scraps and I suppose lick the plates if you don’t run outside this instant and retrieve that plate, my young one.”

“Yes, mother. Where is Daddy, anyway?”

“He’s sleeping. He’s had a rough day and needs his rest. He’s not as young as he used to be. So you’ll be quiet, won’t you, dear?”

“Of course, Mother.”

As Mary started for the back door of the cottage, there was a loud rush of wind and the cooking fire flared up with a whoosh.

“Mother, what was that?”

“It’s probably just the wind. Perhaps a storm is on the way. We could use the rain.”

“It didn’t sound like any wind I ever heard,” Mary responded.

“Oh, Mary, the things you think about! Go get that plate, now. I’m waiting.”

Mary returned to the yard and snatched up the plate. Was that a giant moonlit shadow she saw crossing the stone wall behind her house again? Mary gasped for breath and then ran in.

“Mother, Big Ears never came for his supper. Do you suppose something could have happened to him?”

“Don’t be a worry-wart, child. He’s probably visiting his fiancĂ©. Dogs get married too, sometimes.”

“No they don’t. They just pretend they’re married and make puppies.”

“Mary!”

“Well, it’s true.”

“You’re far too young to speak of such things.”

“I’m engaged to be married. I have to know about these things!”

“I suppose, but you’re still a little girl to me.”

“Mother!”

“I know, dear. Time flies on eagle’s wings while here below, we just get older.”

“I’m going to my room now, Mother.”

“Give your mother a kiss before you go.”

“Yes, Mother.”

As Mary turned away from kissing her mother’s cheek, she heard a loud, hissing snake-like voice, “Marrrry, I amm heeee whoooo destroyssss you. I am he who rulesssss.”

Mary turned back to her mother and asked, “What was that?”

“What was what,” Mother replied.

“That horrible voice.”

“What voice?”

Mary awoke in her bed. How long have I been asleep?

THE END

The story continues in my novel Fulfillment

Satan had no idea who he was messing with.
Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who enjoy an original horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King or Frank Peretti visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.

Friday, December 15, 2017

Beginning Part 1

A prelude to my novel Fulfillment

Asleep

As Mary waited for sleep, her thoughts turned to the evil that now haunted her.

“Yes, Mother. I will, Mother,” Mary remembered answering. She was being polite and submissive, not exasperated the way she really felt. She remembered grabbing one of the plates and gathering the scrapings of vegetable skins and leftover bones along with the crumbs of bread from the new wooden eating table and taking them into the yard in back of the family cottage. There she placed the scraps on the ground and called, “Big Ears! Come eat your supper.”

Mary listened. The gathering darkness hurried her thoughts. She did not like to be alone outside when the sun went down, even in her own family’s yard. “Big Ears!” she called again. A loud whoosh of wind passed close behind her, rustling her skirt. She suppressed an urge to cry out, speaking a soft, “Oh!” instead. She turned around but there was nothing, only the ever darkening sky. In the distance beyond the village limits, the hills disappeared in the blackness against the night.

“Big Ears!” she cried again, this time in the new direction toward the hills behind her village home. There was no response so she bent over and emptied the plate onto the ground. While she was bent over, she heard the roar.

She thought at first it must be the roar of a lion, but of course there were no lions in the hills nowadays. Perhaps a wolf, or maybe a leopard, she thought. But wolves do not roar, do they? Must be a leopard. Or a jackal. She slowly straightened her tiny back and shivered. Her face, which had been smiling when she came out of the house, now bore a frown of worry and something else. Her eyes slowly began to show the something else when a huge dark shadow passed along a stone wall in the yard. Her mouth opened slowly as she held back the urge to scream as long as she could. When the roar came again, she released a suppressed “huh!” and then dropped the plate on top of Big Ears’ supper. She turned and ran.

To be continued...
 

Satan had no idea who he was messing with.
Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who enjoy an original horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King or Frank Peretti visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.


Friday, December 8, 2017

Fulfillment


As one critic wrote:
“This may be the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.… Author Paul R. Lloyd has turned his fertile and vivid imagination loose on a story that millions of people hold sacred and find too familiar to grab much attention during its telling. But hold on to your hats! This one is different!”

I suspect most people today think of Christmas as that cheery time when we gather the family, exchange gifts, fool little people into believing in Santa Clause, and oh by the way, celebrate the birth of Jesus in that stable in long ago Bethlehem.

What could be sweeter than the birth of a baby destined to grow up to save us from the evil clutches of Satan and an eternity in hell? Cool story, right? Except buried near the end of the Bible version, King Herod orders the murder of every male child under age two in the town of Bethlehem. This mass murder probably included a lot of girl babies, if you think about it, because soldiers aren’t particular when they have to fend off moms and dads attempting to protect their young. This means a lot of moms and dads may have died as part of that horrible event. It’s likely that a number of Bethlehem families were entirely wiped out.

The purpose of the mass execution was to kill the Christ child who King Herod saw as a threat to his family’s dynasty. So here’s the thing – this act of violence shows believers that the enemy – Satan and his minions – were out to stop the Messiah from saving the world. We think of this as a type of spiritual warfare.

I found it interesting that in more than 2,000 years following the massacre, no one had written a story about what Satan was up to while God was about the business of sending Jesus to save the world. No one, that is, until I wrote Fulfillment.

My story is about realistic people rather than plaster saints. People in ancient Palestine laughed, cried, celebrated, worried and did all the other things we normal type modern folks do. Mary and Joseph in my novel battle Satan’s attempts to destroy them and their baby.

As I thought about putting this story to electronic paper, I considered what would Satan’s natural strategy be? If Jesus is the Son of God, then he is way too powerful for Satan to attack directly. So what do you do if you’re Satan? Kill the mother before Jesus is born, that’s what.

But Satan had no idea who he was messing with. Mary wasn’t your ordinary unmarried pregnant teenager. This kid had moxie and connections in extremely high places.

In Fulfillment, the secret concerning the baby in Mary’s womb attracts evil spirits, a woman-hating ancient Israeli monster named Lilith, a king, soldiers and a would-be lover all bent on destroying her. Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother who loses her husband and children in a bloody massacre. Laugh, cry and gain new insights into the Christmas story as you read Fulfillment.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.”
Revelation 12:4b

Click here to choose the paperback or Kindle version.

Choose the Kindle version for yourself. Paperback copies make excellent Christmas presents, especially for those who are not likely to read the original Christmas story in the Bible but will read a horror story. Tell them it's like Stephen King visiting the first century.

Click here to visit my author page on Amazon.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What was Satan up to while God was about the business of saving the world?


What does Satan, as the most powerful demon in the universe, do to stop Jesus from saving the world when Jesus is too powerful to take on directly? As I contemplated that question, I pictured two answers that derive from the obvious fact that Satan failed.

My first vision showed scene after scene of a bungling demon trying to kill the child Jesus but something always comes up to destroy his best laid plans. Fans of Pinky and the Brain will know what I’m talking about here.

The second vision, the one that led me to write Fulfillment, was simple: Kill the mother.

Frank Peretti meets Stephen King in this tale of first century intrigue, mystery and evil beyond all imagining. Well, most imagining anyway. After all I did imagine it, didn’t I? And you will, too, when you read about how Mary lived in happy ignorance until that fateful day when she became the central figure in a drama beyond her wildest imaginings.

Angels we have heard on high
An angel announcement and a broken engagement catch an unwed pregnant teenager in a web of peril in an age when stoning was the punishment for fornication. Mary's situation attracts evil spirits, a king who would destroy any threat to his throne, the king’s unquestioning soldiers, and a would-be lover all bent on destroying Mary. Let’s also throw in a soldier who does ask questions, but asks them too late.

Mary’s journey, while steeped with betrayal and the foul stench of the ultimate demon, is a setup for an even bigger story. She discovers a lost love found, the promise of a newborn king, and a wealth of new friends from a dwarf with the heart of a warrior to the young mother whose husband and children face their own death sentence in a bloody massacre.

Moxie and connections
Fulfillment is the first century suspense drama with a huge twist of horror when Satan discovers he isn’t messing with an ordinary teenage girl. This kid has moxie and connections in high places.

If the thought of Satan out to get you isn’t enough to keep you awake at night, how about reading Fulfillment? It will. Click here to purchase the paperback or Kindle versions on Amazon.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Why Do We Even Celebrate Christmas?


Ever wonder why Christmas is so important to Christians when the real story of Christianity is the miracle of Easter morning when Jesus rose from the dead? In the world of horror stories where at least some of my novels hang out, rising from the dead is no big deal. Vampires do it every day. But in the real world, we only know of one person who pulled it off successfully.

Christmas is about the birth of the child who would grow up to become Messiah. Yes, the Easter story works better if the man rising from the dead was born in the first place, but his birth is a minor point hardly worth noting. One of the four Gospels doesn’t even mention the birth of Jesus. Another makes brief reference to it using the symbolism of poetry where we read, “The word was made flesh and lived among us.” (Say what?) While short on details, the author gets his theological point across to knowledgeable readers.

For the rest of us, Christians and nonbelievers both, it’s enough to hear about the angel visit, the virgin birth, the shepherds and the wise men.  Meanwhile pass the gravy, and are you sure we opened all the presents? Oh, and what time did you say the game starts?

What we never hear about, until recently when I published Fulfillment, is how Satan tried to stop the birth of Christ in the first place. The genesis of Fulfillment (hee, hee, hee) happened the day it occurred to me that Satan knew Christ would be way too powerful to kill. Christ is the son of God so you have to figure he’s more of a Superman type than Batman, for example. (Surely you’ve noticed the similarities between Superman’s origin story and the biblical account of Jesus’s birth? And do you really want to start comparing Batman and Satan? Don’t go there because it gets scary. There’s a reason he’s called “The Dark Knight.”)

Instead, read Fulfillment, which one critic described as “the most unique version of the Christian Nativity story ever written.”

Click here to purchase the paperback and Kindle versions. What a cool present to give to your Christian friends.

Monday, December 8, 2014

What did Mary’s Mom and Dad say when she announced she was pregnant?


And followed that up by insisting that God was the child’s father?

What? Wait? God did it? Give me break. God’s a spirit. Spirits don’t have sex even when you consider both meanings of the word. (1. Doing it. 2. Having the tools to do it with.)

With Christmas around the corner, it's time to consider how the parents reacted when Mary made her big announcement.

Dad may have said, “Well, you know, Mary, that wasn’t a very good decision on your part. And who is this kid named God? I mean his very name is blasphemous. And when did you find time to do it with all your studies this semester? This is what comes from wearing such provocative short skirts. Why I can see your toes, for crying out loud.”

Not!

We don’t really  know what was said in that conversation, but you may rest assured old daddy was more than furious. We’re talking about the first century of the Common Era (C.E.) here. Good old A.D. as in anno domini. The rule with pregnant teenage girls in those days was you sent them out to the public square where everyone in town gathered around with their favorite rock in hand. They played catch with the pregnant teenage girl. And yes, everyone threw fastballs or rather fast rocks. The life expectancy of your average unwed pregnant teenager was three months for discovery followed by the local religious leader’s cry of “Play Ball!”

In Mary’s case, as a citizen of Nazareth, she could expect a crowd of about 10,000. The city was built on the side of a mountain at the edge of a cliff, so guess where Mary would have gotten to stand. A rock up the side of the head right before a sky dive sans parachute is not the best start to the rest of your life as a pregnant teenager.

Well, it didn’t look good for Mary if you were her dad or mom. Or one of the 10,000 volunteer rock throwers.

What was the scene like the morning Mary showed up for breakfast carrying her barf bucket for just-in-case?

Fortunately, you don’t have to wonder. I’ve already speculated for you in my novel of the first Christmas. Dad was more interested in throwing things than talking to Mary. Mom was more interested in calming dad down than in Mary’s little issue with tossing cookies in the morning.

And what about Satan? You may be curious about where he comes into the story. He does. Trust me on this one because despite what anyone may try to tell you, the great God of the universe really was the father of Mary’s baby. And you just know Satan would do anything to wreck God’s best laid plans. And he’d start by playing “Let’s kill the mother.”

Fulfillment is available in paperback and Kindle versions on Amazon. Click here.


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