Vampires on the Moon

My new book -- Vampires on the Moon -- rampages through monsters, kids, lovers – young, old and some undead. If you enjoy short stories and flash fiction, this is the book you’ve waited for your whole life. Well, not exactly your whole life. More like since your last bathroom break. But hey, you need a book like Vampires on the Moon to keep your brain flushed with nearly 150 pages of horror humor. Stories you’re dying to read like The Vampire’s Wife’s Rant and How I Flunked Vampire will entice more than a smile before exposing your neck to whoever that is tapping at your bedroom window right now. A few, a very few, will make your skin crawl in the usual horrific way so be sure to check out Night Terror and West Chester, Pennsylvania. For Twilight Zone fans, you’ll discover Exit 13. For lovers of ancient mysteries with a touch of scary, read A Case of Murder in Ancient Egypt and Little Miss Forgotten (historical set in the sixties). Sci-Fi fan? You’re in luck with Garbage Scow Willie and the Mother Ship. How about a spirit-filled adventure? Try Wally Bonner’s Spirit-filled Dollar and How It Was Paddy O’Reilly Got To Heaven. Are you ready for a couple of stories that wait until the end to “gotcha?” Try Egbert and McDonalds Glenview on Waukegan Road. Lots more surprises in this collection. Click here to learn more or buy.

Cover Reveal: Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers

Here is the cover for my latest book in the Snpgrdxz series. It's number 4. You can start the series, if you haven't already, by clicking the book 1 image on the right.

This new story will be available as soon as it passes muster with Amazon.

Enjoy

Here's the Scoop
Love birds Jennifer and Bryan travel across time with their friends to battle Bangers (smarter than zombies, dumber than dung) and Klergs (alien monks who prefer teens who taste good over teens with good taste). Their coming of age misadventure  brings them into conflict with the usual terrors like daemons, lycanthropes, nosferatu, trolls, zombies, and of course, Jennifer’s dad, Dr. Hawkins, who doubles as their high school principal. Snpgrdxz (pronounced Snip-grid-ix), the teenage alien hermaphrodite shapeshifter, joins them as the group’s sardonic but secret weapon. Free-wheeling noir humor abounds in this sci-fi, fantasy, romance, thriller – well, you get the idea. It's a page turner for romantics and thrill seekers alike.

Supervillain Daemon Turpelator Returns in Book 4
And he is hell-bent on destroying Bryan while keeping Jennifer for his own pleasure. He already possesses multiple versions of Jennifer captured during her past time travel misadventures so why not sidle up to the original? And with Tony Romano, the high school’s hippie-dippy art teacher, set to retire, who will replace him as the Time Keeper?

More horror comedy combined with teenage romance from the author of Hags and other top sellers. Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Jeff Strand and John P. Logsdon. Also great for horror fans who wish Stephen King had a sense of humor.

Young Adult/Adult Crossover. Find out why sci-fi/fantasy readers enjoy the Snpgrdxz time travel series by clicking on the LOOK INSIDE button to sample the book.

Interview with Paul R. Lloyd
Why should readers check out Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers?
If you like to laugh your way through a horror story, and who doesn’t, then you owe it to yourself to read the Snpgrdxz series. The first three books act as a prequel to book 4 so go ahead and start with the fourth book: Snpgrdxz and the Time Keepers. You can always backtrack to the first three episodes.

SAVE THE DATE

Join me at the Burning Bush Art Gallery on Friday March 6, 2020 from 7 pm to 9 pm for a reading from my fiction including top-selling novels, short stories and flash fiction. I’ll also facilitate a discussion of today’s literature and writing scene. Seating is limited so please let me know if you plan to attend by posting a comment below or sending an email to paul dot lloyd dot writer at gmail dot com (distorted for security purposes. You know how to format it.) Located at 224 North Main Street, Wheaton, IL US 60187.

Changeling

Halfway home, my body shape-shifted. I became a rabbit. No a mouse. Crap a dog, now wait, a crap. No, a freaking skinny new tree. A yard ornament. What kind of pill did Harriet Hornknocker slip into my cola? Or did she plant it in my burger? Ahhhh, I’m a Canada goose. Honk. Change. No. Honk. Honk. Honk. Ruff-ruff, that’s better. A dog this time. Now what? Oh, no, I’m Harriet Hornknocker. Oh. Hey, I am Harriet Hornknocker. No. I’m not. Well, I'm sure if I had a mirror, I'd look a heck of a lot like old Harriet. There’s Binglesnoot. He’s got that crush on me, I mean Harriet. Hey, Bingle, shoosh, honk. Crap I’m a Canada goose again. Here he comes. Hi, Bingle. No, I’m okay. What do you mean why do I look like a rooster? You like the comb? And the tail feathers? Wait. I’m changing again. Help me, Bingle. Oh, no, I shrunk. I’m a freaking ant. Actually, I’m a pretty big ant. Check  me out. I’m a giant ant from an old black and white sci-fi movie. Oh wow, I am black and white. Hi, Mom, I'm home.

You're Invited to a Gallery Reception

My wife, Lynn Zuk-Lloyd, will have a one woman, month-long show at the prestigious Burning Bush Art Gallery in Wheaton, Illinois. In conjunction with the show, Lynn will host a workshop for visual artists, and I will host a writer's workshop. I pasted information below. Lynn and I would love to see you at these special summer activities.

August 4, 2019
YOU’RE INVITED TO A GALLERY RECEPTION
You are invited to the reception of Lynn Zuk-Lloyd’s The Power of Prophetic Art one-person show on Sunday, August 4, between 1 pm and 4 pm. Food, drinks, wonderful art to simply enjoy or to purchase.
Burning Bush Art Gallery
216 N. Main Street
Wheaton, IL 60187

August 8, 2019
WRITING WORKSHOP
The Power of the Plot Arc
Led by Amazon Top Selling Author Paul R. Lloyd
Ratchet up tension with a plot arc, a powerful tool to plan, write and edit your story. Learn key story elements like the inciting incident, surface problems, the dark moment and the climax. Covers key element definitions and how to use them to add story interest. Paul will tie the workshop into the theme of the art show on display – Lynn Zuk-Lloyd's The Power of Prophetic Art.
Date & Time: Thursday August 8, 2019, 7:30 pm - 9 pm
Place: Burning Bush Art Gallery, 216 N. Main Street, Wheaton, IL
Cost: $25 payable at the door by cash, check or credit card
RSVP: Click here or text 630 596-6685

August 14, 2019
PROPHETIC ART WORKSHOP
The Power of “Creative Play”
Led by artist, author, speaker Lynn Zuk-Lloyd
Creative play opens our hearts and minds to receive God’s inspiration and ideas for us. Participants will create 2-D art and mold and shape 3-D art in this fun workshop designed for adults. We will also discover how the Lord uses what we make to touch hearts in deep and meaningful ways.
Date & Time: Wednesday August 14, 2019, 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm
Place: Burning Bush Art Gallery, 216 N. Main Street, Wheaton, IL
Cost: $30 per person includes all art supplies, payable at the door
RSVP: Click here or text 630 300-4899

Join the Write Time Writers Group
Perfect your craft through workshops, writing exercises, discussion and critique. Writers of all ages and levels of experience welcome. No cost.
2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7:30 pm to 9:00 pm
Vineyard Church of DuPage
1900 Manchester Rd
Wheaton, IL 60187
Next meeting: September 12, 2019
Learn more

Paul’s Writing Services – Fun and Affordable
Personal: Need help composing a letter or email? How about becoming the hero of a murder mystery, romance, horror, or sci-fi story? Custom puzzles, games & more. No extra charge for the humor. Email to learn more. Use subject line: Personal.
Grandchildren book: You’ve built up a lifetime of experiences and wisdom. Now share your life with your family with a personal biography that includes your story with photos and other mementos of your life. Email to learn more. Use subject line: Grand
Business Writing: Attract new customers for your small business with powerful copy written by a highly-experienced business writer. Boost the power of your website, social media, blog, video and print media with creative business copy from Amazon top-selling author Paul R. Lloyd. Email to learn more. Use subject line: Business

Gregorian Chant

It's only Gregorian Chant but I like it. I like it.

Yeah, Gregorian Chant is definitely not rock and roll. But you'll like it if you need soft, melodic, easy listening music, especially if you've never experienced the solemnity of prayers sung in Latin. But don't take my word for it. Click here to listen.

Click here to learn more about Gregorian Chant than you'll ever need to know. I recommend checking out the Wikipedia link because the history isn't what I thought it was and you'll get a good grasp of its history in the first couple of paragraphs. Gregorian Chant came later than I thought -- about 750 to 1100 depending on who you believe. A number of earlier plainchant forms existed, however.

The music is hauntingly beautiful. I recommend it as background music. A friend said you wouldn't be able to understand the individual words because of the drawn out vowel sounds. It's sung in Latin so even if you can figure out the words, you won't understand them unless you speak Latin. If I listen close, I can pick up some of the Latin words remembered from my youth when the Mass was still sung or said in Latin.

Click here to find the Latin words and Gregorian Chant notes. Be forewarned that the Kyrie is in Greek. This link is really cool because you can see the old form of notation. Music notes evolved over time so it's special to see the earlier forms. The text is from the post Vatican II form of the Mass. In the middle ages, the mass was slightly different. Take a quick look just for fun. If you're into music, this should be a real joy. If you're into Christian prayer forms, the text will also bring you joy.

ENJOY.
THE END

Listen to Gregorian Chant while reading HAGS. This novel is spooky with its witchcraft and spiritual warfare in the midst of a serial killer and a guy who just wants to clear his name after spending 15 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit (or did he?) Find out in HAGS.

Heart Attack

“You had a heart attack, but that's not what I'm worried about,” said Dr. Johnson,

Boy was I relieved to learn he meant my other head. I explained that on Flnxerod we all have two heads except for those pesky Reblandersnaps who only have one but it's huge with one big eye. But that's another story.

Dr. Johnson stared at me, both of me, as though examining a dead body at autopsy. Well, we were in the autopsy room when I came to the first time. Good thing Dr. Johnson hadn't opened me up for the autopsy yet. After a lengthy stare, he asked, “What about your yellow eyes, all four of them? They're yellow. We'll have to test for jaundice.”

“But on Zlipnork, we all have yellow eyes,” I lied.

After another moment of a downright rude glare, Dr. Johnson said, “But what about your liver?”

“Liver? What's a liver?” I asked. That's when I knew I was in for a long haul. At the same moment, I realized I was stark, raving naked.

THE END


Molly and Jack 
 
Molly, did you read Snpgrdxz?

Which one, Jack?

The first one, Snpgrdxz and the Time Monsters.

Finished it last week. Why?

So did you read the second one?

You mean Snpgrdxz and the Time Warriors? The one you told me about last week and I quote: With the troll zombies behind them and Nosferatu, werewolves and worse in front of them, Bryan Ganarski and Jennifer Hawkins rush headlong into a romantic, fast-paced misadventure. Joining them on the journey are Gilbert, Tony, CJ and the rest of the gang, including Snpgrdxz, the teenaged space alien shape shifter who can be either a boy or girl depending on his or her mood. Little do they know what monsters await. Is Bryan still totally insane or is there a part of him that can fall in love with the right version of his time-traveling girlfriend? With hormones, earther and other, flying high, will these intrepid time warriors find their way home or become stuck in yet another out-of-time calamity?

Well, don't just sit there. Click here and buy Snpgrdxz and the Time Warriors.

Click.